Help me fight the negativity

[Flyingpiglet]

Just lately I’ve been trying really hard to bite down any negative feelings and not let them take over. But for some reason, I am struggling today with this persistent feeling of ’inferiority’ I think.

 

I find it difficult to explain.....

Just not quite being on par with everybody else.

Not really mattering to much in the grand scheme of things.

Everybody else has something more important/interesting to say/offer

 

I am aware it’s most likely unjustified self pity, guess I’m just looking for a little encouragement to keep on pushing through...

 

My smile is coming more regular, but I want it back to stay!

 

Thanks

[emilybravo]

You may be right, it may be unjustified self pity, because apparently we are capable of doing whatever we want to do to improve ourselves. Negative self talk will only make us worse. We have to start looking at the positives and rectifying the negatives if possible. A therapist told me this: make a list of positive traits about yourself, things you like about yourself, and things others like about you (even if they are things you consider inconsequential or minor). When the negative voice in your head starts to tell you that you're inferior, counter it with these facts about yourself. Practice talking gently to yourself, not telling yourself, "So and so is so much better than me, I suck, etc." Then make a list of things that you perceive to be negative about yourself. Can you change them? And make a plan to change them! This is a huge process that takes years or a lifetime, but we are growing, ever-changing people and we can change for the better. If there's something you've always wanted to do, do it! Improve yourself anyway you can; it will add to your confidence and quell that negative voice.

[Mesemene]

Always keep in mind - you're your own worst critic.

 

That person that you think contributes more to the conversation or is more interesting may well be thinking exactly the same thing about YOU. Just like when you look in a mirror and see your faults as huge and glaring - and look next to you and think "wow, I'd love to have hair like that..." that person is probably thinking "why oh why couldn't my eyes have been anything but this muddy brown... hers are so much prettier *sigh*"

 

The people you're comparing yourself to? They don't see themselves as being better - because they're too busy finding their own faults most of the time!