Is this guy a rebound or has she really moved on.

[Kenster22]

Hi friends, first post here. Ive been reading a lot of threads the past few days and decided to share mine with you.

 

Okay so me and my ex have been together for over 3 years, it became a ldr last year when she had to move away for college. During the last year of our relationship i visited her three times for about a month each and everything was going great. We talked almost everyday from on the phone to skype and she seemed fine with it. After she visited me in July on her 21st birthday and we had a lot of fun, went gambling travelled and did many other things. Eventhough that happened the following month of August wasn't the best month for us. We argued a lot mainly because i was beeing too needy. She had to study for the nursing program she wanted to get into/ get recommendations / and write an essay.

 

So around 7 days ago we had a small argument i forgot about what and she was furious. From there she decided she would go to a party that night and drink.Little did i kno she just meet a guy there which i found out a few days later. The next day seemed fine we talked and it was like nothing happened, then somehow we got into an argument over menswear that day and she decided that we needed a break because we have been arguing way too much. She told me i have trust problems and im mainly overprotective but that she still loved me and wanted me to work and think on these things. Im like that though because shebroke my trust in february while she wasnt in the right mindset. She flirted with guys and that really broke my trust at that point. Ive tried forgiving her about it but I constantly think about it sometimes andI get scared she'll do it again.

 

The next day she went to the moon festival with my gay friend, 100% sure he's gay and during that time we didn't talk. When she got home she called me and told me to talk to her online. Once i logged on she msgd me that "I don't think this is going to work anymore." I asked her why and she said we have nothing in common and that Im too busy bugging her all the time that she doesn't have time to do her own things. Then later on into the conversation she said she was talking to someone else (the guy she meet at the party). She said they have everything in common and why she would rather talk to him than talk to me. I took it the wrong way and freaked out a little bit asking why and how could u drop a three year relationship in a matter of days. I think I even put in the "im saving up for a ring atm for us". all in all she shut me down completely in the conversation and i finally asked her do u still love me yes or no. She never firmly said no or yes her reply was, "I dont want this anymore". she had a lot of ;/ faces and sad emotes in the conversation because i could tell she was trying to sugarcoat the topic. In the end she said she was tired and went to bed while i had an emotional breakdown.

 

The next day we didnt talk because she went to New York for the day with the guy she liked and looked at clothes n stuff because shes really into fashion and he's into menswear (which she really likes). After that she didnt get back to her city till the next morning and she told me she stayed at a friends house when she called me. She's currently moving in to her brothers house and was staying at his place the past few days but he started work that day she went to New York and he works the night shifts. So he wasn't home to let her in since she doesnt have a key yet. She's moving into her brothers house because her mom is really really crazy and kicked her out since she didnt go to school that semester to get a scholarship that they used like 1/4 of, and the mom keeps the rest of the money. At the end of the call she tells me she'll call me back since her battery was dying but she never did.

 

She got back into her brothers house and msgd me on the laptop and this is where i found out that she went with the guy to New York. She told me it was for a change in (scenery) but i know thats not true. and thats where that conversation ended and i just backed off for a bit.

 

The next night she msgd me and said "there is part of me that just wants to let go and f my life over". I replied around 6 hrs later with "if your mind is set on being with this guy, then its better to let go, because I just cant deal with us being friends only. She replies to me a few hrs later while i'm in class about her head being too heavy and wanting to get a haircut, so I got pissed off and just told her get 1, why did u dodge the question. She didn't respond and I had to reinitiate a conversation with her after school.

 

When I got home that night I asked her why doesn't she talk to me much anymore and from here on she got really pissed off at me. She said o, just hangin out with friends and moving in, and trying to be I don't know, not miserable. I asked her why and she said today was the deadline she was suppose to be handing in scholarships and crap and she sarcasticly said idk why i couldnt. Because she had to focus on me and my whining or else id get pissed. And she told me thats why shes up so late kicker herself over and over because she messed up. After she just said she didnt want to talk to me anymore because i find ways to piss her off. Being the gentleman I just said talk to me when u feel like it, and she just said how about never. I told her i was miserable without her and she flipped and said im always Fin miserable and i need to F'in do something. I stated that i am, i'm motivating myself to go through school and thats where we stopped talking and i blocked her.

 

Its currently been two days of NC and its really unbareable because i really feel like she wont call me ever. Is the guy she talking to really someone to rebound off of or does she truly like him, because during our arguements she told me she thinks he might be the one due to them having everything in common. He jokingly said we should get married and she told me she was SCARED to reply. Idunno how she got up to telling me that he has his own condo and is in a good working job, and how his ex was totally not in his league through a picture. She just wanted to rub it in my face that shes happy with him.

[camus154]

Keep going NC and treat this as a real break up (assume she's not coming back).

 

Don't worry about this guy or what he means to her, as hard as that might be. It doesn't really matter. She broke up with you, she's in a different area than you, and the only thing you really can do is insulate yourself by preparing for the worst and moving on accordingly.

[Kenster22]

Yeah im most likely gonna do that, she hasn't really started any conversations with me right after sept 10, so i doubt shes gonna even care that im not talking to her anymore