camus154 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 After hanging out in these forums for awhile, I couldn't help but notice the sheer number of threads in which Facebook comes into play either incidentally or as the main catalyst for posting in the first place. Most especially this is relevant for those going through break ups, so I thought I'd compile a general advisory regarding Facebook and handling the painful and often ugly process of dissolving a relationship. Facebook is NOT your friend when you're going through a breakup. Too often people say they go no contact but for some reason they don't remove or block their ex from FB, and then they wind up obsessively stalking their ex's profile or simply stumbling upon a particular status update that throws them for a loop. I've seen a lot of people say that blocking their ex would be immature, but this in my opinion is just an excuse to maintain some tiny sliver of contact, some way of keeping tabs on the ex or just having a door slightly cracked open. If you're willing to cease contact with an ex through every other means, why is FB afforded some special status? So...here is my advice: 1) Defriend or block your ex immediately when the break up happens, unless you're one of those odd exceptions where you're trying to remain friends. In other words, treat FB exactly as you would a cell phone. If you're not calling or texting your ex, then you shouldn't be communicating with them via FB either. 2) Defriend or block your ex anyway. Human nature is what it is, and the temptation to check up on your ex's profile will be all but impossible to resist. Finding out what they are up to, who they're partying with, what they may be thinking about you...none of that is going to help you move on, and it's really none of your business anyway. 3) If you have mutual friends or even family who are FB-friends with the ex, inform them of the break up and that you do not wish to hear ANYTHING about the goings-on with the ex. People should have the common sense not to do this anyway, but sadly a lot don't. 4) Do NOT get into your ex's FB if you happen to know (or could guess) their password. Not only is this obviously unethical, but it's only going to hurt you in the long run when you eventually find something you don't like. 5) If you don't follow the above points and cave into temptation anyway, you're only going to open a Pandora's Box of endless questions that will likely have no answers. This will only serve to make you miserable and prolong recovery. You'll only waste energy worrying about stuff that doesn't matter in the long run. So if this happens, try your best to immediately forget about it and move on. 6) For any other scenarios that haven't been covered, refer back to #1. Remember, FB is NOT your friend during a break up! Link to comment
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