"I love you a small amount"

[babybear]

My boyfriend and I have not exchanged "I love you's" yet but HE has dropped little hints into conversations such as "would you still love me if I did this..." or "my friend asked me if i'm in love...". I have never said a word, never commented just kind of responded at each hint with silence because I have felt uncomfortable and I am not sure of my feelings. I don't know how you are supposed to know when you're in love. I was with someone for three years and we said we loved each other but I still sometimes wondered "is this love?" So I just don't know.

 

Well today he said to me "my friend asked if i'm in love, i said i didn't know but i think so, i'm on the verge of loving you."

 

Later that day he said to me "I love you a small amount".

 

I'm sorry but no one has told me they loved me in four years. I kind of wanted that moment to be special, fairy-tale like. And that was hardly the declaration I had in mind so I didn't say anything back even though I've been thinking I do love him and I do want to say it

[blackhawks1287]

You need to learn to be more expressive with these thoughts to him...

[arwen]

How long have you been together and has he been in a serious relationship before? Saying it for the first time in your life to someone is quite scary.

[BellaDonna]

It seems he has strong (bigger)feelings toward you but is being guarded with them. He may be testing the waters, worried that you will not say it in return.

[babybear]

He's said it to two other girls before i think he's been in a three year relationship before and we've been together 4months.

[Rose30]

I've been with my bf for 3.5 months, neither one of us has said the L word yet, I think in adult relationships people show more care about using the L word and don't just blurt it out after 2 dates which I think is really good. He is obviously being very sincere about his feelings and not saying things until he means it so I think thats a really good sign.

 

Give it a bit more time and I am sure he will say it. I can't wait for the time when my bf says it to me, I have been thinking about my feelings and I think I love him, but i want to take some time as well to be sure.

 

Good luck

[babybear]

Yes he would never say it before he means it. I get the impression it's been on his mind for a while from the number of hints he's been dropping over the last couple of weeks. I just kind of wish he would just say it properly; "I love you" when he knows for sure he definitely feels that way. Rather than saying he loves me a bit or whatever as he starts to feel that way. I think I might just say it now when i feel it whereas before I refused to even go near the word because I was waiting for him. We have both been hurt badly a few years ago which i don't think helps matters.

[greywolf]

That would probably bother me too. What does that even mean? Personally, I think it's a turn-off when someone waits to say 'I love you' until they're sure the other person will reciprocate. Because then, what do they want? Do they really just want to tell the person they love that they love him/her, or are they only looking for reciprocation of feelings?

[Ms Darcy]

Given the fact that you don't really respond to him when he drops hints, I can see why he hesitates.

[hequestrian]

I can see both sides of this. You want someone to reciprocate your feelings but you also want to tell them you love them so he was cautious.

 

He might have been nervous to say anything because you seemed hesitant. I can understand those feelings. At the same time I wouldn't want someone to say " i love you a little bit..." that kind of would ruin the moment. It seems like he is looking for some reassurance from you before he jumps in heart first. If you love him than you should tell him. He seems to be trying to tell you as much as he is comfortable with that he is ready for that aspect of your guys relationship.

 

I don't think that he's not saying it flat out because he only loves you if its reciprocated but rather that he doesn't want to make a fool out of himself or make you uncomfortable if you don't love him back.

 

Just my 2 cents though...

[babybear]

Does anyone think maybe he just doesn't actually love me at all really? Like today my mum was taking the mick out of me in front of him then later he jokingly said "i don't think your mum loves you" so i jokingly replied "no one does" with a sad face and he replied "i could, with time". Made me think he doesn't actually love me at all at the moment but he's just been thinking eventually he might.

 

I want to say I love you to him if I feel it but I am so wary of it I don't know how I'm supposed to tell. I could probably be with someone ten years and wonder "is this love?" i don't know how people are supposed to know. But i do think in my head when i'm with him how i'd like to tell him i love him, but i worry that's just over-excitement or sex hormones and me just really wanting to be loved so I hold back. I don't get how I'm supposed to know.