women have an easier time picking guys up and getting dates

[jonny15]

I don't get this whole idea that men are in no position to reject women. We are and we do all the time. I certainly have. I've had a woman a few months back offer me casual sex and I rejected her on the spot because I wasn't interested or attracted to her.

 

That is your experience.

 

Most men do not have women approach them, much less have sex offered up to them.

[breath.o.fresh.air]

the point is that there r some men, who have no choices in dating.some men r good looking, great personality,great jobs, but women dont give them the time or day.ofcourse some women would not agree that is possible.guys r not picky as women. if u take a 100 women and 100 men with avg looks, i bet the women will have more sexual and dating experience than majority of the men. there will be 2 out of 100 men that have had more dating n sexual experience than women. like i said most women will not agree,but how many women u know that r still 30year old virgins who never had a choice??

 

women r single by choice. most men r not single by choice. few men who are good in communicating with women have choices. only few men are born with understanding the female and most are not.

 

I disagree with this 100%. Granted, I am a woman who is single by choice, and I have male friends who are single but wish they were in a relationship. However, that being said, the reverse is also true. I have female friends who would love a relationship, and male friends who choose to be single. I think it's more obvious that guys aren't single by choice by the active nature of their pursuit of women. If women are more passive, it seems like they don't care whether they're in a relationship or not, or that they are not actively pursuing a relationship. Yet, men are generally more aggressive in their pursuits for women to date so it seems like they are less likely to be single by choice. In this case, it's more a matter of role differences than anything else. Also, because of this more active role, I would argue that MOST (not all) men have more dating experience than women.

 

Building on this, how active a man is in pursuing women can seriously effect their likelihood of getting a date. I'm always surprised when I meet a guy that claims they want to date or get into a relationship but don't actually ask women out. Rejection's scary, but there are no returns without risks. Most women expect that men will make the first move, and if they do it will leave a negative impression on the guy being pursued. That being said, I'm just as likely to approach a cutie at a bar as they are to approach me. That's not to say that I'll always take a leadership role, but what harm can come out of random conversation?? And I very rarely reject anyone if they're asking for my number (unless I get a creepy vibe). The way I see it, if nothing else, I just met somebody new - regardless of relationship status or even potential, they could turn out to be an amazing friend. But then again, I'm kind of extraverted and have been known to get numbers/give my own to both men and women I meet with the promise to hang out.. and often follow-up with an invite random group activity.

 

Then again, that's just my experiences, and everyone's different. I know that not everyone is as social or confident as I am.. and that's OK too. But that's just my 2 cents.

[breath.o.fresh.air]

Infact, I think most women wear all that high priced stuff to inpress other women, cause most guys could careless about it.

 

I disagree. I'm not saying that expensive things are necessary for men to notice, but that women often perceive it as a competition. If they don't do these things it can give the impression that they don't care about their appearances, and have lower self-esteem (why bother type of attitude) than if they do take care of their body/face/hair. I'm far from high-maintenance, and could care less about name brands, but make sure to take an effort to dress appropriately (and fashionably). Also, many men care a great deal about this. I have male friends who (in a similar fashion) take the time to blow-dry, straighten, and/or style their hair in the mornings - often taking longer than I would to toss mine up. It's the same concept: competition.

 

Also, by taking the time to take care of oneself, I think it boosts confidence. It's knowing that you look good, and not caring about who's going to notice. Personally, when I get dressed up, I do it for me. Note that I don't just mean in a dress and heels - I mean dressed up appropriately - even if that means a sports bra and shorts when I'm going to the gym. It makes me feel good. And if I'm comfortable/feel good/feel sexy, I'll act that way. As long as I'm happy with how I look/feel.. why would I care what anyone else thinks?? regardless as to whether they are male or female.

[jonny15]

I was talking about the clothes and jewlery.

 

To me, that is mostly to impress their girlfriends.

 

I could carless about that. Mainly cause i'd rather a girl just honestly be in a t-shirt and jeans, but that doesn't mean she's sloppy.

 

And guys who take massive amounts of time to do their hair are very effeminante, and I would not do that.

 

Those guys make me question their sexuality.

[breath.o.fresh.air]

I was talking about the clothes and jewlery.

 

To me, that is mostly to impress their girlfriends.

 

I could carless about that. Mainly cause i'd rather a girl just honestly be in a t-shirt and jeans, but that doesn't mean she's sloppy.

 

And guys who take massive amounts of time to do their hair are very effeminante, and I would not do that.

 

Those guys make me question their sexuality.

But that's my point: jeans and a tee are clothes! They can be just as expensive as anything else. And any expensive jewelry a woman wears often has sentimental value - as opposed to being a status symbol. If it doesn't it's often lower value (economically) and usually used to accent the outfit and/or the woman. Earrings highlight the neck/jawline/upsweep of hair, a necklace - cleavage, etc. Keep in mind the situation the woman is in will have bearing on what she wears - I would never wear a dress and strappy sandals to a barn, nor would I wear jeans and a tee-shirt to an upscale club.

 

Unless you're generalizing to say that clothes are a status symbol for women and they do it to impress their gfs.. but then it would be social status and not for the gfs - much like anyone would notice the difference between a maserati and a civic. But even so, as far as clothes/jewelry go in this context, I can't even think of anyone (male or female) who places cost over comfort, style and/or fit - and definitely none that would do it to impress their girlfriends. Note that I'm not talking about just dresses and skirts, but ANY type of clothing. ALL my friends choose their clothes/accessories based on what they like and what makes them feel good... not because of what somebody else thinks about it. Maybe the perception of materialism in relation to status is true in some groups, but definitely none that I know of/associate with. And again, I would feel like this is something that would be seen among men in certain circles as well. If so, I would hazard a guess that it's a lifestyle choice and these people would want values to align with a potential SO anyways making it important regardless. The point is, why would women care to impress other women beyond competition? And a true friend would never compete (actively) with their own.. so this logic makes no sense to me.

 

In terms of the guys I was talking about, I find it quite amusing because everyone I know that is this way, would actually be described as a "guy's guy". And this is not unique to an industry/group, as they range. For example, one works in a mine, another on an oil rig, and a third in a corporate office. You'd never know they take much time to style their hair, but they do nonetheless. It's also something they don't talk about at all, save among v. close friends. The point is, they're all straight, and more guys do this than you'd think - just women are often more open about it. It's a personal choice, and I definitely know guys who go the other way as well. Similar to how it takes me 5 minutes to do my hair in the morning, but my cousin a half hour. Variation is to be expected, and blanket statements regarding who's more likely to succeed depends on locations. I wouldn't expect a complete country boy to be in a techno club all dressed up... nor would I expect to find a hipster out moose hunting. I know both men and women who do both, and find potential SOs in their respective social circles... it's not a simple all women who do x are y, or all men who do a are b. It's all circumstantial.

[redhood]

well point being women have more dating options than men.even though the women dont like whats on the table,they still have options.women decide at the end if they want to go out or not.women hold the key to sex.if a women doesnt want sex,u doesnt want it.if a guy wants sex n the women says no,he is done.if a woman wants sex,its easy as blinking ur eyes.women n men have it the same when it comes to relationship.but women have more options to get into relationships,since they r always being pursued,hit on 25x/day.

[jonny15]

I am no big on fashion, so I am not gonna delve deeply into your post, but jeans and a t-shirt shouldn't cost that much, unless your trying to get top of the line stuff.

 

So getting that stuff isn't a big deal, and im saying that as someone who is broke.

 

Let's please get off the clothes talk, cause i'm not a fan of it. lol

[jonny15]

well point being women have more dating options than men.even though the women dont like whats on the table,they still have options.women decide at the end if they want to go out or not.women hold the key to sex.if a women doesnt want sex,u doesnt want it.if a guy wants sex n the women says no,he is done.if a woman wants sex,its easy as blinking ur eyes.women n men have it the same when it comes to relationship.but women have more options to get into relationships,since they r always being pursued,hit on 25x/day.

 

Very true.

 

They have the options.

 

I myself just seemed amazed at the guys that claim to reject girls all the time.

 

I've never had a girl ever approach me before.

[Sim54]

These kind of women this, men that post are merely conjecture and personal experience. I know some really REALLY stunning girls who struggled to get dates, including one pretty famous Hollywood actress who most guys here would give their soul to date, and she ended up in her early 20's feeling really ugly and alone as NO-ONE would hit on her as they thought she was too beautiful. Lonely life. I know some guys, who get girls really easily, and often reject women, and I know women who try and try, and can't get a good guy, or even a guy. Are there really rules and 'lessons' here? What about you, how about how YOU are doing?

 

I know of one seduction guru who says that men have it made in the dating scenario as there are SO many lame douche guys, who don't know how to be a gentleman, and are crap in bed, that it's easy for a guy to get his act together, and have the pick of the bunch if he sorts himself out. He says that women are crying out for a good, and real man, who can give them what they wan't but they are constrained not only by the lack of good men, but also a society that labels a women who proactively searches out a man as loose or ' * * * * ty'. Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't.

 

Look, we're all people, we all got ego's and feelings, we're all looking for someone, we all got heartbroken, we all are lonely at times and need love and acceptance. We're all in this together. I think the most attractive quality a person can have is kindness. That ability to make someone feel special and accepted, and wanted. We all want that in the end. OP, your original post is just victim talk. Who cares if women have it easier, go out, step it up, and get some back bone, and get on with it. Nothing you can do about what is going on with women, so might as well deal with it.

[bulletproof]

Look, we're all people, we all got ego's and feelings, we're all looking for someone, we all got heartbroken, we all are lonely at times and need love and acceptance. We're all in this together. I think the most attractive quality a person can have is kindness. That ability to make someone feel special and accepted, and wanted. We all want that in the end. OP, your original post is just victim talk. Who cares if women have it easier, go out, step it up, and get some back bone, and get on with it. Nothing you can do about what is going on with women, so might as well deal with it.

 

Exactly correct. It kills me when I read these posts about who has it easier. Honestly, who cares? For every male advantage/disadvantage there is a female one, rest assured. Nature has a funny way of evening things out. So figure out what your strengths are, and move on from perpetual victimhood.

[twentiesgirl86]

I think it entirely depends on the person to be honest. I get rejected so much, it's like breathing to me. I used to be the passive woman, and hoped men would approach me at bars and what not, but it never happened. So I decided to take the aggressive approach and just go out and ask them, or dance with them, or something. Only thing that works is that they will dance with me at the bar, but it never goes any further than that... but at least I am dancing with someone. I danced with a guy for quite a few songs the one night, and then when I asked him for his number he disappeared without an explanation. And yet if it were my one friend who looks like a model off a magazine, except she is actually real, men will take her number. We had a competition the one night when she was still single, it was more for me than her, she wants me to be more open and she taught me how she gets guys. She won. I got one number out of all the men I approached, doing what she does and she had a number from every guy, even one who had a girlfriend... the girlfriend had disappeared to the bathroom. Maybe it's something I am doing wrong, maybe I seem fake but I still think it has to do with my looks... but at the same time I am not sure. I went out with another girlfriend of mine, who has gained a lot of weight and is average looking and we decided to play the same game (we're mutual friends of the other girl) and she got more numbers then me.

 

So I think I can safely admit that it's me. Even though she told me I don't look fake, but still. She said she was watching me from the side to give me pointers, and she didn't see anything that I was doing wrong. There is something about me that men get turned off by, maybe it's my looks, or my personality, or something... I don't know but I wish I could find out because this game is getting old. I'm 25.

 

Either way though, I don't think it matters which gender it is, I think some peopple have it, and some don't. I for one do not have it.

[Jetta]

Funny I think men have an easier time then women who generally are at least told to wait around for the guy to make the moves. I've done that make the move thing and it never works, so I now listen to the advice and wait for the man to make the first move. Though the guy I did like in highschool called me in college to invite me to a party (he probably wanted to show his friends who the girl was who asked him out so I didn't go). Needless to say in my world guys have it easier.

[galaxy71]

Women don't feel rejected when some unattractive guy or some much older guy doesn't ask her out. I don't think women feel rejected when a panhandler or her waiter dosn't ask her out. I also think that most women don't feel rejected when some married guy refrains from asking her out. I don't think that a woman who is busy running on a threadmill fills rejected when some random guy doesn't interrupt her workout to ask her out. Under your definition of rejection, I am rejecting lots of women everyday when I don't ask her out. I think a real rejection occurs when you show interest in a person and that person knows that you are showing interest. A guy getting turned down for a date is a rejection. Some reserved woman who doesn't get asked out by a cute guy at the gym did not get rejected because the guy did not know that she was interested in him. I really have a hard time understanding how some women get rejected when they not only not ask guys out, but they don't even flirt with guys. Guys face immediate consequences when they get rejected. I remember this one person talk about how some guy got rejected when a woman told him that he must be this tall to approach her. Guys run the risk of facing humiliation and embarassment when they get rejected. They also face other consquences as well. I remember how my friend talked about how his classmate got in trouble because he flirted with too many of his female classmates. I really never heard of a woman get in trouble for sexual harassment because nobody asked her out.

 

 

 

I am also going by my personal experience, but the hot women that I know are dating guys she met through her social circle. I honestly have not heard of a woman not getting asked out because she is too good looking. Most of the hot women that I know are dating guys who are good looking themselves.

 

 

 

 

By "sorting himself" out, does the seduction guru mean taking a $3000 bootcamp or undertaking thousands of cold-approaches. I don't know what is so "easy" about confronting your anxiety or enduring large numbers of rejection. I also don't know what you mean by how "women are crying out for a good, and real man". You make it sound like that women would love to date a nice guy even if she doesn't find him attractive at all. I really don't know how you are helping guys when you deny the reality that women have more options than men. I have seen a lot of women who are cute, but not gorgeous, get treated like some pop star as she was surrounded by her admirers. I never seen any regular looking, "non-celebrity" guy get surrounded by groupies.

 

I really don't know how you are helping guys by denying the fact that women have more options than men. Because women have more options than men, a lot of guys are going to have to work their butts off to improve themselves if they want to get a relationship. Some guys need to overcome their shyness. Other guys need to get a makeover. I also think that a lot of guys beat themselves up when they rejected. They think that they are sad or pathetic when they get rejected when in reality the women that they are asking out have a lot of options. I remember how this one cute girl talked about how she flakes out on guys because guys ask her out all the time. It would be silly for a guy to beat himself up because some woman flaked out on him.

 

 

 

I don't know about you, but I don't see a problem pointing out that women have too much power in dating. Why do I have to accept a system that is dysfuctional and unjust? There is a big difference between being aware of the problem and taking the steps to adapt versus denying reality because you cling to the belief that life is fair.

[FathomFear]

Exactly correct. It kills me when I read these posts about who has it easier. Honestly, who cares? For every male advantage/disadvantage there is a female one, rest assured. Nature has a funny way of evening things out. So figure out what your strengths are, and move on from perpetual victimhood.

 

I think it's a bit naive to say there's some sort of magical balance for ever pro/con that might be out there. Clearly, while there are various social injustices which affect the genders differently, that doesn't mean we should be resigning ourselves to them because there's some sort of "balance". We should be trying to rectify as many of them as possible. Especially ones which we know are purely cultural, such as dating rituals.

[Allyo]

Women might have an easier time, but maybe they also feel less need to impress...? I think what can come off as unattractive to a woman (including myself) is a man who seems like he is trying to hard or just using some formula to win women over. "Give me your number" would work on me if the guy seemed genuine and interesting.

[redhood]

Women might have an easier time, but maybe they also feel less need to impress...? I think what can come off as unattractive to a woman (including myself) is a man who seems like he is trying to hard or just using some formula to win women over. "Give me your number" would work on me if the guy seemed genuine and interesting.

 

yeah...give me ur number would work on girls lmao....ur a woman so u dont have to do much to get a date.like u said, women have an easier time.if 20 women like urself were put in one room and only one guy u had to attract...give me ur number line will not work.women dont have any competition when dating men.if the guy has 20 women competing for him,most women will have to come up with interesting ideas,topics to hold his attention.u wouldnt understand what men go through since dating n getting laid comes easy to u.its like rich people saying they dont care about money...the reason they dont care abt money is because they already have money.u have an easier time getting dates,laid so thats y u dont care about winning,attracting someone over=because u already had/have it

[breath.o.fresh.air]

give me ur number would work on girls

 

Actually, that has worked on me. I was half-in, half-out of a group of friends, and beyond asking if he was interrupting anything with one of the guys, we didn't actually really talk because I kept jumping into conversation with my friend, said hello, and tried to catch the bartender, this guy basically just said: "so, am I going to get a number, or am I wasting my time here?" The honesty, lack of attempt, and my general tendency to be outgoing got him my number. Nothing much has come of it - we went for drinks once, and I don't see it going beyond friendship, but that's not the point here. The point is, it does work. Sometimes, honesty is the best policy. Granted, I expect a follow-up, and I don't expect the guy to try to take me home with him that night. But I've never seen the harm in giving out my number if I don't get the impression that the guy is trying to play me.

[redhood]

yeah whatever.ur a girl so u always decide if u want him in the friendship zone or in ur bed.the guy has no say.

[BritterSweet]

yeah whatever.ur a girl so ur argument is invalid.

 

Fixed it for you.

[Sim54]

You come accross as bitter, childish, angry and sexist.

Get over it. She's a girl, you're not, and you've had some tough times getting a girl.

Rise to the challenge and DO something about it, and quit whining like a baby that life isn't fair.

No-one ever said it was.

 

It may be true that girls get dates/laid easier than men but they have a REALLY hard time finding a GOOD man to date/sleep with as the world is full of bitter and immature little boys who think they women OWE them something, just for asking them out.

[redhood]

so when was the last time u had sex sim54? women and few men like urself dont have trouble getting dates or laid.constant rejection,fixing urself,changing thing around,changing urself takes a toll on u.women would understand this because they can never be sexually frustrated.guys like u, have no problem getting dates or have not been on a dry spell for 5 years.if women faced the amount of rejection like men,they would commit suicide.

[Sim54]

Nonsense. I had sex fairly recently. But, I also had a 2 year dry spell. I have had my fair share of heart ache and rejection. I've just started college and am the only guy in a class of 18 women. Yet, as far as i can see, none of them are remotely interested in me. That sucks, but whatever, I'll no doubt find someone someday soon. You can't compare here. I'm sorry you're having a crap time, but it's YOUR crap time, and your responsibility to do something about. You can't go blaming others, and specifically a whole gender, just because you can't get some.

 

I hope you find what you're looking for, i really do, but coming here and posting vitriolic bile isn't going to get you any dates!

[Capricorn3]

It kills me when I read these posts about who has it easier. Honestly, who cares? For every male advantage/disadvantage there is a female one, rest assured. Nature has a funny way of evening things out. So figure out what your strengths are, and move on from perpetual victimhood.

^^ THIS. I have no doubt that half the time if they lose the bitter/victim attitude then things will turn out a lot more positive. No-one wants to go near anyone who is such a downer. Change the attitude.

[Sim54]

^^ THIS. I have no doubt that half the time if they lose the bitter/victim attitude then things will turn out a lot more positive. No-one wants to go near anyone who is such a downer. Change the attitude.

 

Exactly! In a nutshell, throw of your negative attitude and get a life.

Stop looking for love. It will show up when you start doing things that you love.

Trawling bars trying to pick someone up won't EVER find you the love of your life.

[ApocalypseDreams]

You come accross as bitter, childish, angry and sexist.

Get over it. She's a girl, you're not, and you've had some tough times getting a girl.

Rise to the challenge and DO something about it, and quit whining like a baby that life isn't fair.

No-one ever said it was.

 

It may be true that girls get dates/laid easier than men but they have a REALLY hard time finding a GOOD man to date/sleep with as the world is full of bitter and immature little boys who think they women OWE them something, just for asking them out.

 

Agree with this.

 

Your attitude towards women stinks and if you are conveying this in your personal life then getting rid of it would be a drastic improvement. No one wants to be with someone who is bitter towards their gender, that goes for males and females. I mean, you've disregarded the opinions of just about every female poster as a matter of course, as if their opinion isn't valid because of some percieved 'inequality'. Is that a reflection of how you are towards females in general?

 

Redhood, are you friends with females? Do you have relationships with females that aren't based around getting with them or getting laid? Just because you enjoy their company, value their friendship and appreciate their opinions and thoughts?

 

What are you doing to change things? Are you working out? Are you expanding your hobbies and knowledge so that you become a more interesting person?