how to contact the ex?

[trixsta]

We was in a relationship for 18 months and were in love, this ended badly around May due to me making huge mistakes in the last 3 months such as becoming hugely jealousy/lying over small stuff and became a totally different person then who i am.

 

Emotions were high back then, she immediately went into another relationship but it has ended just recently.

 

The last convo's i had with her were "you were always in my heart" and that "i regret ever meeting you" both from her so was getting mixed emotions from her

 

We've had no contact since late may, i honestly still love her, and i have gotten my self back together as i was a total mess and not strung over the pain anymore. I know the mistakes i've made and hugely regret them.

 

Just i'm unsure how to contact the ex or what to say to make amends... without coming accross as annoying, the breakup had taught me alot.

 

Should i start the conversation casually? like; hey it's been a long time; how are you. Or more of a Hey, i hope you don't hate me still, how are you? or should i give it more time as she has just recently split with her ex?

 

I would still like to get back with her, although obviously that decision isn't up to me

 

And i know that if she rejects it i'll have to move on anyhow; just need some advice... thanks for reading

__________________

[Snowy]

Are you sure you are ready for a second time? Have you figured out what caused you to be jealous in the first place? You don't just become jealous out of no where. What if the same situation happens again?

 

Okay if you've made up your mind, then I'll give you a few tips:

1. DO NOT talk about the past and say sorry blah blah.

2. Try to be friends with her first.

3. Like you said, the decision to get back together doesn't come from you only, so don't be too clingy. Respect her decisions also.

[trixsta]

Yes, I became way too jealous over small things; at which now I see was stupid and wouldn't even concern me now.

(i.e I would of got jealous over her salsa dancing with other men)

 

I was wondering whether to wait a month or so before making contact due to her recent breakup, although her recent break up was with another ex of hers if it matters which lasted 3 months way before me, and then again just another 3 months.

 

thanks for the tips.

[Snowy]

No need to wait longer.

[indigoblue]

You should just ask her casually how she is doing. Don't go back to the past... don't deny that you guys broke up but don't bring it up either. Think of starting anew instead of feeling like you are still trying to make amends and making up for what's been done. Since she's just been through a break up, try to be her friend instead of trying to be her boyfriend again. She will appreciate you even more, and then who knows.

[trixsta]

I'm kind of scared and don't even know what to say, i don't really want to be stuck as a friend; this is hard.

 

I've been getting mixed opinions from other people on whether to bring up the past and apologize, or start fresh and pretend it never happened?, I'm confused of what to do

[trixsta]

should i start of being positive? like something along the lines of "hey you! or more casual hey, how have you been?

[HeartGoesOn]

I would bring up the past in a polite and meaningful way. How else would she see that you're trying to be sincere, and understand that you've addressed the mistakes that led to the breakup?

 

What have you got to lose by being upfront?

[trixsta]

i wrote a hey how u doing, its been a long time.

 

and now she has blocked me and didnt reply

 

 

[BONO]

Give it more time - its too obvious.

 

Also, I would question your whole motivation. It could be argued that you are the backup guy now. She knows she can have you when things go sour with whoever. You need to try and build attraction so that you are not a safe bet.

 

By mistake I texted my ex. I should have texted my long term friend instead " Great night, thanks for such funny time - i'll buying next week " ... followed by an "opps !"

 

Funny enough that ironically broke the ice and created interest !! lol