Separated....still

[Keili]

It's been a year - I don't know if either one of us will ever file for divorce. We are 1,000 miles apart. We were talking, but recently that has stopped. I'm not doing so well with it. I keep holding out hope that we will "find" each other again, but how long is to long? This is causing me serious anxiety... By the way - I'm new to the site.

[DN]

Welcome to ENA.

 

Perhaps if you give a few more details we may be able to offer some constructive advice.

[AutumnBorn]

I've got lots of reading recommendations:

 

Books:

 

Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay

Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships

 

But for immediate help, I highly recommend Al Turtle's blog: link removed It is, by far, the best relationship website ever.

 

I know a woman who was separated from her husband for 20 years. He died about 6 years ago. Washington is a joint property state. She got everything. His live in girlfriend of 15 years got nothing but some personal property. People can go on like this for the rest of their lives, if nobody does anything to change it. You have to decide if you really want change and in what direction. The two of you separated for a reason. It must've seemed like a good idea at the time. What's changed?

 

I wish you luck in deciding. You must still love him a great deal.

 

Also, do you know anything about the law of attraction? I believe in using every resource and tool available to get what you want, no matter how improbable it may sound. Here's a link to get you started:

 

link removed

 

 

Welcome.

[CatsMeeoow]

I don't think there is ever a "too long" as you read about couple reuniting 10, 20, 30yr later. However, I have to ask if the recent round of not communicating is an indication he is moving forward with his life... you know... dating... relationships. When you two separated what were the ground rules? Were you each supposed to move on with your life with divorce being the planned outcome?

 

In this economy many couples have put off actual divorce due to finances. Is that the case here?

 

I think you truly want to work on reconciling you have to put it out there for your partner but be prepared he may be entirely on a different page thinking he has found someone else. And, if you think you two have a chance well 1,000mile apart will do nothing to help it so its going to mean coming in closer range.

 

I think you need to make some definite decisions on what you would like to happen and write out some pros and cons... BUT, you also need to make contact with your spouse to see if that is even what he wanting to work towards.

 

Good Luck