jackofall Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 I know, I know, I'm sure it sounds crazy. The thing is I'm having some trouble not thinking about it. Obviously at work and when I'm with friends I don't think about it much but it's ALWAYS in the back of my mind, and after work/when I'm alone I just don't feel good and replay events in my head constantly. Basically I broke up with her 9 months ago. We stayed friends and in May I had an epiphany and realized I had had enough time to myself and really wanted to start something. I had heard she was seeing someone else but we still hung out and she had been sleeping over almost all the time after we broke up (only once did we have sex, and a couple make out sessions). Even though she had just started another relationship, literally days before, I was floored that she supposedly had no feelings for me. I stuck it out as friends for a couple months and never contacted her first, but she kept wanting to hang out every week or so!! When I couldn't take it any more I said I thought she was making a mistake. Dumb move I know, but anyways she freaked out and I told her to take all her things (yes she STILL had my apartment covered in her stuff, including clothes and bathroom stuff). I explained to her why I couldn't be friends anymore, but it's been a couple months and I just don't feel any better. I really believe I'm ready to give myself to someone as opposed to always trying to work around the relationship to have free time. That's the guy I used to be. I understand I was late to the party but she wanted to move in last year, I just wasn't ready. We broke up mostly out of just being a little sick of each other. We hung out the same 5 days straight every week attached at the hip. I knew it was a little much but I knew it would kill her if I said I wanted to hang out a little less. I realize that's probably a big red flag but I dunno, I just think overall the timing was just a little off and it's all there for us. She on the other hand has somehow compartmentalized our entire relationship and just doesn't connect me to any feelings other than friendship. I just love being around her and she's the only friend I had that would just "hang out" as opposed to everything having to revolve around a bar. We would watch TV, play board games, go out to eat. Now I have no one like that much less a girlfriend. Some say the only thing better than NC is being there and being awesome and charming and likable, but I just don't know if I can do it without speaking my mind about the whole thing and pissing her off again. I just think it's a joke that she has basically said "never again" when we had a mutual, painless at the time break up. Any help would be appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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