I'm still heartbroken after 3 years, why won't it end

[ChocALicious]

My ex dumped me and left me for someone else and I'm still hurting! We were together for 5 years, have a child & he left me for one of the * * * * s he cheated on me with. He went around showing her off, going on holiday together, I found out last year he tattooed her name over our childs but claims he was drunk, it was a mistake and he regrets it and is ashamed.

 

The 3 years we've been broken up he keeps coming around claiming to love me, says he made a mistake, realized what he let go & called her a * * * * , said he wants his family back and only loves me but I don't believe him and he says why can't I just let it go/forget it, but he's still with her just lying he isn't. Plus you don't holiday with someone and tattoo their name on you if you "think" you love them or was just in lust as he says, he's such a liar but part of me foolishly still loves him even though I don't want to.

 

I'm doing a lot better than that first year, the last 2 years honestly I was doing great but the last few months I've started hurting again, why? I'm so upset lately and crying. He's the only guy I've ever loved and we were together almost 5 years. I need to break all contact with him and stick to it but I always give in to his baggering me after a month and changing my number doesn't help as he always gets it from his mum and mine and contacts me! I just really want to move on with my life, am sick of hurting.. I even considered asking him to try again this week but I won't, I find it difficult to trust any guy since, I'm terrified of getting hurt again (I know not to tarnish all men with the same brush but its just me I can't do it again) and have remained single and plan to do so the rest of my life, will use a sperm donor for more children after I finish my studies. I just feel as if he never ever loved me at all as if he did he wouldn't have treated me the way he did, he says he was young & dumb & has changed but we're only 26yrs now & I don't see any changes at all. Why can't I stop hurting its been 3 & half years now, soon it will be 4years and I've already wasted so much time hurting.

[WindowTo]

Most likely because you are still interacting with him, hearing from him, seeing him, thinking about him. The only way to remove the pain is to remove the source. On the other hand I still think about my ex who I was only with for 6 months 3 years ago and I have barely heard from her. But I have to say that it is not an issue to the degree that you are describing for me. I think you are doing the right thing by being skeptical of his feelings. He probably just wants his cake and to eat it too. Sounds like he is immature and does not understand what he will want once he has made a decision.

[yo11vegas]

It is because you are still in contact with him. I know TONS of people that have children and a lot more than just one, that have found someone else and someone glad and happy, and more than willingn to date. Most of them are married now. I know it's hard to picture your life without the "perfect home" and having the true father, but what is worse for your child? Trying to create a home that is happy for you or happy for your "family" I grew up with a single mother who never moved on after my father left, let me tell you, she is just now realizing in her 60s that it was soo much time wasted. BE THANKFUL for your child, go out and have fun, there are plenty of single men with children as well if you feel that is a barrier. I am 30 and single and afraid I won't find someone to have children with. For god sake woman, be thankfkul that you were blessed with a child and all you have on your plate is finding someone to enjoy life with you. You are in such a fabulous place in your life you just don't realize it. I wish I would have gotten at least a child out of my last relationship. You have nothing to fear to let go of him. How can you find your happiness if you keep medling in his and the guy doesn't even sound happy! Get involved with sports, get involved with being a mother, accept what has happened and realize that you are SO MUCH MORE WORTH it thank you think. everything else will fall right into place.