Is all of this because I'm a virgin?

[SandersT]

Ok, to make a long story short, I met a girl over a year ago on Myspace. She lives in Mansfield, Ohio and I live in Detroit, Michigan. She first fell in love with me ( I forgot when, but she caught feelings VERY quickly), and I fell in love with her, at least I think I did, because someone told me it was just lust, not love, because we have never met each other. I have been clingy, untrusting (when there was no good reason to not trust her), and I have had a bad temper with her and said things to her that no man should tell a parent. All of this was said to her AFTER I caught feelings with her. So my question is, since I am a 25 year old virgin, could it be the reason I am behaving so crazy? And keep in mind that I only act like this whenever I am in love with someone or have a crush on someone.

[blackhawks1287]

You have no control over your emotions...

 

It is not because you are a virgin, it is because you are CLINGY, YOU LACK TRUST, HAVE A BAD TEMPER...not because you are a virgin. Being a virgin is an issue, when you make it an issue.

[Capricorn3]

I have been clingy, untrusting (when there was no good reason to not trust her), and I have had a bad temper with her and said things to her that no man should tell a parent. All of this was said to her AFTER I caught feelings with her. So my question is, since I am a 25 year old virgin, could it be the reason I am behaving so crazy? And keep in mind that I only act like this whenever I am in love with someone or have a crush on someone.

I don't think your behaviour (being needy/clingy, bad temper etc etc) has anything to do with you being a virgin. I note in your other threads you mention these issues several times and that you have lost many friends because of your behaviour. You also mentioned that you are (or were?) seeing a therapist. Has the therapist helped you at all with any of these issues? If not, then I strongly recommend you find another one, until they can actually get to the bottom of it all. Good luck.

[lalalollipops]

Uh it's not love. '_' and the fact you're not sure shows you don't know what love really is.

I hate it when people throw around the word like it's the word of the day =/

[SicFounder]

You have no control over your emotions...

 

It is not because you are a virgin, it is because you are CLINGY, YOU LACK TRUST, HAVE A BAD TEMPER...not because you are a virgin. Being a virgin is an issue, when you make it an issue.

 

+1

Being clingy and untrusting is the first two ingredients listed on an anti-love potion.

[Captain Obvious]

Sounds like youre a virgin because of those things

[twentiesgirl86]

I'm still a virgin (25 like you) and I have never acted like that with any guy I like. I sometimes feel jealousy if I've heard about him on a date with a girl, but then it goes away because I tell myself I can't really be jealous over it. When I crush on someone, I am much nicer to them and I never lose my temper on them. I get irritated with people sometimes and I will snap at them, but I am very careful not to snap at a crush. The guy I like I work with, and since I am the only girl on the line, they all tease me a lot. Well, last Friday I was in a bad mood, so I got all snappy with them when they teased me (not proud of it, but everyone has their days) and I didn't snap at him once even though he teased me quite a few times. I just gave a weak kind of smile but didn't say anything... probably should have been like that with the others, but the point is I am very careful not to lose my temper with him, or anything... and I'm not in love with him. I just really like him a lot (lust) and I try to anything I can to please him even though I know we won't date. I just try to do what I can to see him smile and it feels good knowing that I just made him really happy by doing something for him.

 

So I don't think it's the virginity thing. I think it's just you... and now that you realise you do that you should be careful not to do it if you're in a relationship.

[SandersT]

Thanks a lot everyone. Harsh words, but it's what I needed to hear. Yes I am going to start seeing my therapist again. I even stopped taking my medication because I thought it wasn't working. In fact, it was working better than I knew. I was on 20 mg's of Celexa, and it helped me keep my temper on a managable level and helped me think logically. My Therapist, hasn't been helping. He has just been giving me advice that any average person on the street could give me. We also have not gotten down to the root cause of my bad behavior; it seems like business as usual to him, and is not working fast enough for me, because if I don't end all of my negative behaviors and reactions, I will lose the woman I love. Yes, I said love, I have done research on my feelings towards her, and it's definitely love, not lust I feel for her. Thanks again everyone.