NC for 32 days & love her just as much... nothing is changing

[beacon]

This isn't some whimpering post. I am beyond functional but I've never been here before.

 

Yesterday I worked, worked out at the gym at lunch and went skateboarding after work. Today I worked, worked out at the gym at lunch and played tennis after work. I'm reading inspiring literature. I even have a moonlighting job so I'll stay productive. I play guitar regularly and I have events planned. I'm going to a NFL game Sunday. I started planning a snowboarding trip with a group of friends and I'll be getting a season pass to a local mountain just as I did last year.

 

I feel like a robot in doing it all though. There is no passion in most things and a lot of apathy. I am trying to live life, but there is no enjoyment. She is still always on my mind and it will be 3 full months in a few days. I love her and I want to be in contact with her. Before I felt like contact would take me back to square one, but I'm realizing that I feel like I'm still there now.

 

This sucks.

 

Thanks for letting me vent. Maybe I am whimpering. Why can't I heed my signature? Strangeness...

[Sanity]

You're only human. Don't concern yourself if you're whimpering or whining or whatever. Just vent it all out. We're all in similar situations on this board. Find someone to talk to in real life. I've even cried like a little girl in front of my best friend which was embarrassing but it helps to let everything out than avoid it. And this is coming from a guy. I also went on a month and a half long vacation, helps to get out of the place that has reminders of her at every corner.

[Di84]

It's tough but it will get better. And it could take a while to fully heal from a past relationship. It took me a good 8-9 months and I am still not 100% healed. You will get there.

[Imprimatur]

I find I am talking to everybody around me sometimes, and trying to make sense of a situation that I can't make sense of? I am spinning my wheels. I have cried a bit too. I keep hoping that I will get tired of thinking about it, but so far no.

I am great at giving advice and not being able to follow it myself. Aren't we all. Its just being to close to the situation I suppose? The nice thinng about this place is there are so many people, all with different opinions, it can be a great place to vent.

[Oneironaut]

Thirty-two days is not very long, in the overall scheme of things.

 

At some point, you will actually get tired of not enjoying life and you will -choose- to start enjoying it again. You will begin to accept that it's over, and you'll find yourself thinking about your ex less and less. You'll find yourself laughing more, and meaning it. Then, at some point, you'll meet someone who makes your eyes light up. And that's the day you'll know you've moved on.

 

It will happen...and every day you get through now is one day closer to being healed.

 

Good luck to you, I hope it comes quickly.

[Imthatguy]

At some point, you will actually get tired of not enjoying life and you will -choose- to start enjoying it again. You will begin to accept that it's over, and you'll find yourself thinking about your ex less and less. You'll find yourself laughing more, and meaning it. Then, at some point, you'll meet someone who makes your eyes light up. And that's the day you'll know you've moved on.

 

This exactly. Eventually something will just click and you'll start enjoying it again.

[punk76]

Have unattached sex with someone else in your situation. Keep doing that until you forget about whats her name. Continue to keep yourself busy with improving yourself and things you enjoy. In a few months you will be ready for another relationship.

 

Maybe even with the person your having sex with.

[JB007]

It took me 2 to 3 months to actually be at this stage in the healing process. And that is to be 96% over the Ex. To me, 96% healed means that if I do make contact and don't hear what I want. That's perfectly fine with me. No guts....no glory!

 

I had enough time to heal. To the point that I know I will be happy with or without her.

 

I say go ahead and contact her. You just have to be strong enough to accept what ever comes at you!

[wheelerdealer]

At some point, you will actually get tired of not enjoying life and you will -choose- to start enjoying it again. You will begin to accept that it's over, and you'll find yourself thinking about your ex less and less. You'll find yourself laughing more, and meaning it. Then, at some point, you'll meet someone who makes your eyes light up. And that's the day you'll know you've moved on.

 

This sounds awesome. I've been content in my situation enough to start to think what i want in the next girl, which I guess is progress. Though ironaut, I have to admit I get a little jealous when you post because didn't you get back with your ex and it's still working out? I didn't take the time to peruse your past posts but I think it was you hah. You've been to the promise land that most of us in the initial stages want to get back to

[beacon]

Thirty-two days is not very long, in the overall scheme of things.

 

At some point, you will actually get tired of not enjoying life and you will -choose- to start enjoying it again. You will begin to accept that it's over, and you'll find yourself thinking about your ex less and less. You'll find yourself laughing more, and meaning it. Then, at some point, you'll meet someone who makes your eyes light up. And that's the day you'll know you've moved on.

 

It will happen...and every day you get through now is one day closer to being healed.

 

Good luck to you, I hope it comes quickly.

 

 

 

Have unattached sex with someone else in your situation. Keep doing that until you forget about whats her name. Continue to keep yourself busy with improving yourself and things you enjoy. In a few months you will be ready for another relationship.

 

Maybe even with the person your having sex with.

 

 

It took me 2 to 3 months to actually be at this stage in the healing process. And that is to be 96% over the Ex. To me, 96% healed means that if I do make contact and don't hear what I want. That's perfectly fine with me. No guts....no glory!

 

I had enough time to heal. To the point that I know I will be happy with or without her.

 

I say go ahead and contact her. You just have to be strong enough to accept what ever comes at you!

 

Maybe I'm a bit greedy, but I want all of the above. I just want to be me. I can't believe my confidence is so shakey...

 

JB007, just out of curiosity, what did you say when you contacted her?

[beacon]

I almost sent her a text... almost. Embracing the pain, opening the heart and turning the pain into love. I'm so happy to have my home. I'm so happy to be in my bed. I'm so happy I have my breath. Life awaits, but time waits for no one. Know yourself and your reasons for being yourself.

 

Bedtime pep talk for positive sleep.

[wartorn]

I almost sent her a text... almost. Embracing the pain, opening the heart and turning the pain into love. I'm so happy to have my home. I'm so happy to be in my bed. I'm so happy I have my breath. Life awaits, but time waits for no one. Know yourself and your reasons for being yourself.

 

Bedtime pep talk for positive sleep.

 

So I see you haven't yet entered the Anger stage of the breakup.

[beacon]

So I see you haven't yet entered the Anger stage of the breakup.

 

The order of stages can vary and some people actually skip stages, but I've been angry. I have a bit of a different situation that causes me some tension. We have many mutual friends and I want us to be friends at some point though I know we can't do it just yet. A crazy roller coaster is this break up and I'm not accustomed to this. Argh! My heart hurts...

[vel2011]

So I see you haven't yet entered the Anger stage of the breakup.

 

When is the anger stage meant to come?