Why do people flake?

[Jabbe]

I've met many people and developed great relationships with them. We get very close, then all off a sudden it's like we don't even know each other anymore. This is literally a phenomena that confuses me. Has anyone else gone through this? I don't know what to make of it.

[22n32]

Because most people are selfish and only care about themselves..

 

We live in a its me soceity..

 

Don't pay attention to people like that. Give back what they give..

 

There are people who aren't like this..

[Deejmonster]

some people are self centered, some people just get too involved in life, Some people are naturally independent, and some have trust issues.. depends on the person.

[turnera]

People born in the last 40 years have been raised to be 'all about me.' Some people don't succumb to it, and learn better morals, like the Golden Rule and all. Others...still all about me. It's only gonna get worse.

[Jabbe]

Thanks for your replies. I just get really sick of it. I think I've made new friends, then it's like we've never met in the first place. I'm a very big giver as well, and there's next to zero reciprocity leaving me to feel like most of my friendships are one sided. I think all relationships should be give and take. I'm sure there are people that are not like that, but based on my personal experiences, I think there are few.

 

I'm always the initiator, plan maker, and conversation carrier. I'm fine with that, but it gets old. It would be nice for someone to pop up out of the blue to at least ask how I was doing for once. I know you can't really expect anything from people (free spirit). I guess its just the way my idea of people formed in my mind, and I'm trying to force it into reality? I can't accept that we live in world where most seem to text rather than call or sit around complaining about how hard it is to meeting people.

 

I learned one thing from this though. People ignore those who give them attention and give attention to ones that ignore them. I don't mean to generalize, but this is just based on what I've been dealing with. I'm venting a bit now too. I just can't understand this lol!

 

I understand that people get busy to and it can be a million things, but I guess it comes down to if they care enough or not. I feel like friendship in general is dying.

[turnera]

I'm a very big giver as well, and there's next to zero reciprocity leaving me to feel like most of my friendships are one sided. I think all relationships should be give and take. I'm sure there are people that are not like that, but based on my personal experiences, I think there are few.

Ok, then this makes a big difference. Look up Givers and Users, and you'll see your own pattern. You are attracting Users, because you Give. They LOOK for people like you to USE. They become your friend, as long as they are getting something from it.

 

Practice this: The next time you meet someone, hold BACK. Do NOT offer to cook them dinner or pay for a meal out or fix their problem. Stay reserved. If they don't call you back, they were just looking for a Giver. If they do, they are less likely to be looking to Use someone.

[Jabbe]

Makes sense! What I give most of is attention, so I guess I'll withdraw that. Normally, I'm straight-forward because of my view of life being so short, but I'm willing to test this.

[twentiesgirl86]

Yeah I had that last year. Met a great bunch of people at work, we hung out every weekend. Made plans to vacation together and now this year, we smile at each other and that's it. Sometimes we will make plans but then it always gets cancelled by someone. Not sure what happened there, but it sucks. I need friends in this city.