I guess you can call this a regret story

[sada88]

What brought me to this website was my ex of the last 2 years. We sort of had a very intense relationship on the grounds that he was always massively indecisive about us and I would always get upset over it and it would lead to us fighting over the smallest issues. He ended it in March and we had no contact for approximately 4 months especially due to him telling me that he never wanted to talk to me again and that he was, in general, better off without me. He especially told all of his friends how he would never regret it, never want me back and never wanted to do anything with me again.

 

We got back to talking due to us having a lot of mutual friends and one of my friends had a really bad day and she blew up on him for leaving me for another woman. He stopped me from leaving, we were hanging out in school, and said can we have a word to clear up the misunderstandings. Turns out, we broke up due to my refusal to talk about my future with him while I'm eating on Valentine's Day (even though I've been telling him for two years what I was doing and I tend to throw up whenever we talk about something upsetting while I'm eating). He was hurt by this and turned to the other woman who "helped" show him that I never appreciated him (which is complete nonsense since I always did everything I could to make him happy). After that talk, I've decided that I never wanted to talk to him again nor be his friend because I am still hurting.

 

Anyway, with the subsequent talk, I became more and more upset so I sent a good bye letter. It was not overtly emotional just to clear up every misunderstanding that he formed in his mind. Anyway, he contacts me over the letter and said that he regrets leaving me so much and that he still has so many regrets concerning us. That he was stuck with the "what ifs" in his mind and how much he resents himself for breaking us up over this issue. That he still dreams about constantly and how much he misses my kindness and generosity. And that he * * * * ed up one of the best things that came into his life with all of his issues. He also realized that he has treated me extremely unkindly while we were dating and that might have been why we were fighting so much, well that and too much over-exposure and his selfishness. Also that he spends half of his time thinking about getting back together with me even though he is still with the other woman. And how he still calls me his love even in his own head. That whatever I wanted from him...want to talk over any issue, if I need him for anything... he is willing to give it to me and it is open-ended.

 

I guess the moral of this story is that, even if they do leave you for another person...you never truly know what is going on in their mind. What other people have said is true... that it does take 3 months for the fog to disappear and for them to remember the good. I don't know if me and my ex will ever reconcile but for those that are in need of hope...sometimes if they do realize they had a great thing, it does cause a lot of regrets in their mind.

[DerekJason]

I guess the moral of this story is that, even if they do leave you for another person...you never truly know what is going on in their mind. What other people have said is true... that it does take 3 months for the fog to disappear and for them to remember the good. I don't know if me and my ex will ever reconcile but for those that are in need of hope...sometimes if they do realize they had a great thing, it does cause a lot of regrets in their mind.

 

thats good to hear, but idk if ill ever hear from her again. we never fought, but i was very indecisive about us in the 2.5 yrs we were together, and when we made it official, nothing changed. good luck to you.

[sada88]

Thing is, when a guy is indecisive about a woman...it shows that he doesn't want her because your actions and words are conveying to her that you may not want to be with her. Never take the woman you love for granted because she'll leave and find another man that will show her and tell her what you should have been saying from the start.

 

lol Why good luck to me? I don't know if he wants to be with me again or not. All the signs seem to point to yes but at the same time, him still being with the other woman destroys his words.

[Laylan]

I think that him being with that other woman is because he is too scared to just be alone. I think that even though he may want to be with you really badly he may be afraid that you don't and to give her up and not get you is scary. I'm not saying its right, i'm just saying that being alone is not easy and it can drive you crazy. I think women deal with their emotions a lot better than men even though it may not seem that way. I think most guys put up a huge front in order not to show how they really feel. We've gotta remember that their human too, lol. I totally understand where your coming from though. It sucks for someone to tell you how much they love you and need you and know that your the best thing in the world to them but at the same time not be able to commit to you. I know this too well!!

[sada88]

He is the type to never want to be alone and has a constant need for attention. He knows I'm extremely angry over the break up, the emotional cheating and the subsequent dating that woman[i[/i] and I use that term loosely one month after we broke up. He has already apologized for the cheating and breaking up with me. He knows that I still love him but he also hears rumors that I've begun seeing people again. He is also scared of us doing the Ross-Rachel thing too. The main thing that weights on my conscience is that when he told me that, we met up and cuddled for a bit but he said that he was still with her...which led me to throwing him out of my place.