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My boyfriend says he wants to be single but promised not to leave me :,(


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Its a long story and its so confusing for me i dont know what i need to do to make him stay... lets say his name is *******

Basically i'll start from the beginning.. we met in a club and he came up to me asking if he could have a kiss (just a kiss) so i started flirting and said only if you buy me a drink (i had no money left) so he did and we started chatting getting to know each other and when it was time to leave my friends that i was with ended up getting into a fight and i didnt wanna get involved so i stayed away and so ******* offered to pay for my taxi home and he was so sweet and caring and all he asked from me was my number. Then for the next 2 months we were texting loads and i finally decided to see him again. we went out drinking with one of his friends and ******* payed for my whole night (never lets me pay for anything). we saw each other every other day after that and everything was perfect. we went out all the time and had the best times ever walking on the beach and playing in the sea, going for romantic walks, watching the sea...He told me he loved me and he wanted to be with me forever... then we got to know each others past!! he had only been with one girl before me and ive been with 3 lads before him and ive had an abortion. He was okay with me at first until 4 months into the relationship when things were getting serious FAST. I had a holiday booked for ages and i had to go but i wanted to stay so badly cause i was afraid things would change.. he promised to be here for me when i got back and he was. but he seemed different, still close to me but felt a little distant at times. We started having arguments about my past saying that he hates it and it'll always be in his head, he gets stressed so easily about it, when i dont think its that big of a deal. He says he cant live with it, just knowing ive been with 3 before him. we'd have these arguments then hours later we'd be fine and back to normal. Ever since i went on holiday he started ading loads of girls on facebook but he never used to... then yesterday he rang me and said he needs time apart and that i could see him friday, i was upset but i told him okay and he agreed to still text me. i texted him a few hours later saying i'll ring him that night to say good night but he texted back not to text him. i was crushed but i didnt say anything.. then that night he rang me and he was really drunk with his mate over and he said that he wants to be single that he cant handle my past and he cant live with it... i was heartbroken cause everyday he promised me the world and said that we are forever. i had no choice but to call him back to try and sort things out, i cant lose him, he is the love of my life and who i wanna marry. for the last 5 months all ive thought about is him and our future together, we even talked about getting married. finally he said he was going out and i got him to promise me that he wont leave me... and now its the next day and i dont know what to say to him.. i dont know if he even remembers last night since he was drunk i dont know what to do... please help me i dont wanna lose him, ive never been happier when im with him.

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It sounds like he has insecurity issues. I think you need to take a step back and wait for him to talk to you. As tempting as it may be to confront him about the things he said, it'll be a lot better if you don't. Let him fix the mess he made, don't try to fix it for him. Just distract yourself and do other things until he contacts you. If he brings up your past just tell him the truth about how you feel about him and about how he's the one you want, but put it plainly and simply, don't get too emotional. That's what I would do anyway.

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Hi, kbroken. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. There isn't much I can tell you as far as what to do, because when you are 18 and in love with someone, you will do whatever you want anyway. I know because I was the same way when I was 18.


You seem to be overcome by fear and panic right now, and that's never a good feeling. When you begin to feel fearful and anxious, remember to breathe. Remember that you had a life before this guy, and you will continue to live without him. Remember who you are. Find a way to ground yourself emotionally.


There are even a couple of things you can learn from this situation, if you can let your logic overcome your emotions instead of the other way around. When you are ready, you will see them clear as day.


Let us know how things go. Keep posting, it will make you feel better.

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