New here... Do I have chances to get him back? What should I do? Need advice!

[dare12]

Hello

 

Here is my story, I'll try to make it short although it's really long!

I'm 39 and my ex is 34. We were together for 6 years, living together for the last 5. He left the house two months and a half ago, June 29th.

It was mostly my fault that he left. He couldn't stand the fact that we had too many cats and dogs in the house and also he was very annoyed from the fact that I was spending most of my free time and money helping stray animals, so as, I didn't have much time left for us. He always felt that he was coming last in my priorities. So he left very very angry with me because he was asking me to change things for about 2 years and I didn't listen to him. He got into a rebound (I hope it is still a rebound) since day one from our break up. During the first month I did everything I shouldn't suppose to do. Begging, chasing, telling him how much I love him, telling him I'll change, telling him how very sorry I am. Of course He didn't listen to me. Then I went no contact. No phone calls, no show ups, no emails, no nothing. Day 10th of no contact he calls my best friend. She didn't pick up. Day 23th he calls my other best friend male this time asking about me. He told him that he wants to know how I was doing and when my friend asked him why don't you call her, my ex told him that he thinks that he'll make things worst. He also told him that he isn't sure if he wants me as a friend or as a girlfriend but the sure thing is that he doesn't want to lose me from his life.

After a week (one month of no contact) he finally calls me!!! He got very emotional, telling me that he loves me and he wants talking to me. I told him that he just can't talk to me because we have broken up and it was his choice. I had asked him (a month ago) never to call me if he is still with this other woman, so I asked him If she still exists and told me NO (afterwards I found out from a friend that he lied). So we arrange a meeting for a beer. We didn't talk about our relationship we just had fun, talking about harmless topics. He was very nervous, sweating all over the whole time. He saw a new me and he noticed and he was very pleased about the changes I told him i made at the house meaning (no animals inside). 2 days after the beer he sent me an email accusing me once more about the doggies issue and the most important thing in it was: "I feel very happy with all the changes that you have made but I feel very sad that I had to leave MY HOUSE for you to understand!" He was also telling me once again that I wasn't giving him time to spend with me. He closed saying "I don't know where this whole procedure will drive us". A few days after I called him and invited him to come to see the house (I had already sent him some photos and replied that the house is very beautiful now). I also told him that we have to start talking about us and see if we can work things out. He told me that he didn't feel comfortable to come to the house yet and that he doesn't want a relationship. But you are in a relationship I told him. He admitted that he was still with this other woman. Anyways we agree to meet the following day to talk about us. Meanwhile I have changed my mind thinking that while he is with this other woman anything we talk about, won't lead us somewhere (at this point he is telling me that he wants us to be friends-I don't want to be his friend!!!). So I called him once again and told him that after all It isn't a good idea and If she is not that important to him (he had told me so, I don't know though If it's true) to end that relationship and start talking to see what we can do. No agenda!!! After that I also sent him an email reply to his I mention above, apologizing once more that I didn't change the situation with the animals while we were in a relationship telling him that I wasn't seeing the problem then. I explained that I don't ask him to break up out of selfishness but as a proof that he respects my feelings (he knows he has hurt me deeply) and that he cares enough for me to stop hurting me! And then we can start talking. It's two days since this last email. I'm back in NO CONTACT. No replies, no nothing from him yet. So what do you think. Is there a chance for us? What should i do from now on? Thank you very much.

[dare12]

I forgot to tell you that except from the "I want to be friends" thing he also told me that he loves me but he is not in love with me meanwhile he is telling that he doesn't know where this procedure will drive us (concerning our relationship). Also when I first ask him to leave her in order for us to have space to work on us he told me that I'm right to ask such a thing and he understands but he has to think about it but if I put a time limit he cannot accept it. And I told him that ok he has some time (one maybe two weeks, if he decide to end it, but not lets say after 8 months when his relationship has come to an end by itself!!!

[6yeardumped]

Well, everyone here will give you one simple advice: full NC. period.

[dare12]

That's what I thought!