Voodoodoll Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 I'm just sitting here and thinking of memories, oh so precious memories.... I'm 3 months out of a relationship with a guy that was what I thought 'the love of my life'' , even now when I think of 'us' , I just think ''damn it, we were something else, why'd ya have to go and feck it all up'' ......I get scared sometimes that i'll never love someone like that again, that I'll never even allow myself to love someone in that depth again, that'll I'll never be completely attracted to a guy the way I was with him, that I'll be in a relationship that the guy is crazy for me but I'll only just love them and not be head over in heels in love with them the way I was with my ex...... I think of memories I have with him, all the good ones, they seem so timeless.... He rang me last week and in a part of our conversation he talked about the way we were and said '' I don't wanna depress you or anything but we were great, the way we were was like something out of a movie, it would be hard to get something like that again, well I won't anyway, hope you do '' .....after the phone call I thought about what he said and all i could think of was the memories and it feels in a way that by letting go of this relationship I'm saying goodbye to all the memories we've made, all the good ones, that they'll fade, even though I know they won't, or that the memories will forever hunt me. The annoything thing about the situation i'm in is that we broke up because he drank too much, a bit of an alcoholic you could say ... it pissis me off that our relationship had to end because of this, of course it's not the only factor, there was the new distance thing, he moved 5 hours away for college and that was always a strain.... I don't want these memories to fade, but I don't want them to hunt me... It's like I want the way we were back but I know I can never get that, it's hard to accept, and the only way I can get over this is if I accept it, but at the moment it seems ever so impossible.. Link to comment
indigoblue Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 It's always hard to move on from a deep romance. Just because you lost it does not mean you can never have it again with someone else or perhaps him again in the future when things are better and when he fixes his problems. At least you two are still keeping in touch, it means you had great chemistry and a deep connection. Don't lose hope, you still have a beautiful thing and you know that you can always attract love. It is perfectly normal to take your time seeing as you had something very special and it is great that you did not take it for granted. Link to comment
hausser Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Sounds like he misses you. Link to comment
lemsip Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 These memories will fade, I hope. I'm ridiculous at the minute. I just made a cheese omelette and as soon as I reached for the cheese grater I had a complete rush of memories from an in-joke we used to have. Meh. Link to comment
Springs Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 The relationship was broken, hun. Yes, you had some wonderful times and have great memories. But think about the bad times. The disappointment, the frustration. This break up has paved the way for you to experience the rest of a wonderful life that lies ahead...good things don't end if there wasn't something very wrong. Go work on you. Use this time to figure out who you are and you will be happier in the future. x Link to comment
Voodoodoll Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 ITs annoying because I thought I was actually doing surprisingly well, I barely cried over him, At the start I just accepted it was over, that's probably why It was so easy..... I don't understand how I'm fine up until now? It's like I feel so mad at him, he knew what he was doing to us, he knew that I would eventually have had enough and leave... the thing was though the boy knew I loved him so much, he knew I was crazy about him and that was the problem I think, I was always jumping thru hoops to make him happy.... All I ever wanted from him was just to love me, love me the way I loved him, show me he cared but he got really selfish and cold..... Now that we've broken up its funny that when we text or talk it's like he's so nice to me, he's the way I wanted him to be when we were with eachother, it's like once he had me he got lazy, he gave up, and now that he hasn't me he's all nicey nice, my heads all messed up.....I guess after next weekend i'm hoping it'll be more clear, i'm going to see him, we haven't seen eachother since 2nd of July.... I just need some closure, to say a proper goodbye and then try and move on.... last time I saw him he was drunk and promising me he'd give up for us, i dropped him off at his house and he went on the beer for 3 days, and then I just said 'That's it, I can't do this anymore'' .... In my other thread it explains in more detail about why we broke up!! Why are things always so complicating, I don't care about money etc.... All I want is a man that will love me unconditionally and that I can love him right back the same way, it's all I want.... Maybe I should just try and not be like that anymore, just be materialistic, try and just not care anymore, I don't know, link removed is not the word for me today....Can't wait for Tuesday, just gonna sing in the studio and get all my frustration out ha Thanks for the reply guys, means alot xx Link to comment
Voodoodoll Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 Also ....Isn't it weird though.... How you're in contact all the time with this one person, this one person that means so much to you, this person you loved so much and still do, that you shared everything with, told them your stories, problems, what's going on with your life now, everything was in a way revolved around them, events were shared with them, xmas,birthdays etc.... and then BAM once you break up that's it, hardly no more contact, don't really know what changes, what's going on in eachothers lives anymore, out of everything I think that is the sadest bit of it all. That in order to move on you really just have to let them go... it's like sometimes what we have to do is not what we want to do..its so sad Link to comment
Springs Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 I know.. I feel exactly the same. I had a great love with my best friend. Now the person I trusted and confided in above all others will never be that person for me again. It is so sad and so devastating, but that's how it has to be. I just think of it like this. He and I were not meant to be. There are reasons for that, which I find hard to accept. But that's how it is. And now that has ended, I can now live the rest of my life the way it's meant to be and I know I will find someone who is more perfect for me that he was. You have to believe that. Link to comment
Voodoodoll Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 I'm done with it, I'm not hurting so much anymore.... I know I deserve better, to be treated better... I did everything for him, treated him like a king... I can let go and keep the good memories and learn from this relationship.... I've learned that when my instinct says this isn't working, to just end it, instead of hoping, and ignoring it and wasting even more time!!! There's a whole lot of hot guys out there and I'm gonna have a lot of fun... I've been in 2 serious relationships since I was 16, i'm not 24, i've never been properly single... i'm going to enjoy it! xx Link to comment
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