midnightdeirdre Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 I'm about to be 27 in a month. I didn't have my first bf until I was 17, and that only lasted 3.5 months. I dated casually after that, but didn't have a serious bf until I was 20. We were together for about 4 years with a break in between, then ended for good last year. (But it was looong overdue.) That relationship had commitment, but no real romance or genuine happiness. About 2 months ago I got out of a 10-month relationship. Things were going great, but then some serious issues came up that meant we had to end. (We still chat occasionally but we are not a couple.) Thing is, I was so happy with him; he made me realize how important it is to have love, commitment, and romance in your life. Now that I'm single again, I really don't like it. I've been single for more than 70% of my life. Mainly because my parents didn't allow me to date in junior high, and then when I got up to the high school I didn't want to date because most of the boys at my school were too immature for the kind of relationship I hoped to have. (The bf I had at 17 would go weeks and weeks without calling me; he also stood me up twice.) The bf I had at 20 was a nice guy, but he was a lazy bum. We also didn't have much in common, except our highly-sensitive personalities. My cousin Josh married his wife Dianna about 2 years ago. They are great people, but I admit I'm actually kind of jealous of Dianna. She's 32, and is currently taking college courses. I graduated from college in Jan 2008, and I'm starting a new job this week. (The only real reason I went to college was because my parents made me, and everyone and their great-grandmother preached about how education is everything. Even in elementary school, my parents made no two ways about it -- I was going to college after high school, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.) I guess I'm jealous of Dianna because she got love and a great life without having to deal with the pressure of going to college beforehand. (Why couldn't I have that, you know?) And ironically, I've been hearing that degrees don't guarantee you a job these days like they used to in the past. (Hey, I've been in-between jobs since I graduated!) I am very proud that I earned a Bachelors, don't get me wrong. I guess I just needed to vent about this. As you can see, I haven't been too lucky in the love department. And no, don't tell me "there's plenty of time for all of that." People said that when I was 16. So sorry, that excuse isn't going to work 10 years later. (Or 20 years later, or 30 years later, or...) I've been saying some affirmations about finding my perfect soulmate, and reading a lot of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books on the subject. Both are helping me feel a lot better, which is nice. I've heard people say, "Don't look for love, let it find you." But I don't wanna be waiting too long. As I said above, I guess I just needed to vent, but I'd also like to hear feedback on how others found their soulmates. Did love indeed find you, or were you at least keeping an eye out for it? Thanks for reading & look forward to any feedback! Link to comment
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