My NC diary

[suzieann]

Day 1

 

Today is my first day of NC. He broke up with me on Wednesday evening and i called and text him quite a bit during the following two days. He'd been very distant and moody since my termination so he wasnt any different when he broke up with me, the final straw came when he slammed the phone down and said 'dont call me i'll call you'. I did try and ring back after, to no answer.

 

I rang in sick today. I only work weekends at the moment and i work long shifts for some extra money for uni, so i felt bad about ringing in sick, but i was in no state to work 12 hours with customers. The manager was quite kind with me and said i can have as much time off as i need. I'm off again tomorrow, but i'd booked tomorrow and the next weekend off to move into my ex's flat so i may work them instead now instead of moping.

 

Ive been moping most of the day, but now i've got all dressed up and decided to go out for a few drinks with my college friends.

 

Determined not to drunk text him tonight.

 

I also havent deleted the facebook account. We actually made a joint facebook account in July due to both having issues with our individual accounts, but i havent got the guts to delete the account. He has the password obviously and he has yet to delete it, although i sent him a text saying i'd let him deal with it because im embarassed.

[hausser]

Cool, the longest journey starts with a single step to paraphrase Mao.

 

I'd delete the FB btw, wayyyyy more trouble than it's worth, but if you uncomfortable at the moment that's fine. IF you break NC, don't panic, just start again.

[suzieann]

Day 2

 

In reply to Hausser - we have a shared facebook with both of our names on and our friends list is made up of both our friends and stuff, so i didnt want to delete it incase he wanted to. Eek its a bit messy. I really should delete it because i keep writing status updates in the hope he'll secretley see them when he logs in and can see what im doing. The last time he spoke to anyone on there was a week ago tho.

 

I feel a bit silly putting day 2, because obviously day 2 doesnt end until 00.00 12/9/11 but hey this diary keeps me going. I felt proud to cross day 1 off on the calendar this morning.

 

I went out last night and felt really guilty because i met up with a guy from college and i actually enjoyed the evening and didnt check my phone once to see if he'd text me. At times i wondered what he was doing...i cant figure out from facebook what he's doing, he doesnt seem to have been with certain friends anyway. I started drinking at 6pm and was home by 1am, very drunk indeed. We have made plans to go out again on Thursday, so i have something to look forward to. Its welcome week at my uni so it'll be nice to be able to go out and socialise, i think if we were together i'd probably have not bothered.

 

Today i am going to collect my car from town. Decided to walk so the journey takes longer and wastes more of the day. I then need to do a bit of shopping and prepare for returning to uni tomorrow.

 

I packed away all of my photos of my ex this morning. I dont really have many of his belongings at my house, i live in such a small house with my mum that there isnt really space for him to leave things here, whereas at his i have my own cupboards and drawers which i will need to clean out at some point. Think im gonna wait for him to contact me about that first tho.