yvaine Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I met someone on a hobby website around 2006, we chatted a bit off and on about our shared interests until about 3 years ago. We decided to voice chat on skype for the first time and seemed to just click right away, we talked for hours. He surprised me a few weeks later and sent me a gift. For almost 3 years we have become very close, chatting nearly every day, but we are 2500 miles apart, in different countries and we still haven't met. I'm also disabled so travelling is more difficult for me. For the past 6 months we have been having "dates" over webcam a few times a month and talking on the phone a few times a week. He said he was making plans to visit me in a few months and seemed really excited about it. I was too. We are like best friends and we have great chemistry. He tells me I'm beautiful and is very sweet. We have talked about our future plans and have similar goals. Here is the problem. He has a demanding job and some big family problems, and in the past few months he has flaked a few times and not contacted me for days. I have been very understanding, and all I've ever asked is for him to send a quick message and tell me that he is busy or needs space for a while so I won't be too worried. Being in different countries, there is no way for me to know if he is ok. I'm hurt every time, wondering why he isn't speaking to me. Last time this happened I told him I was hurt and very disappointed by his behaviour and he promised it wouldn't happen again. He told me I can call his phone or email him any time I'm concerned. So, it's been 10 days now and I'm feeling like a fool. I called his cell twice, just said I hope everything is ok and would talk to him soon. He hasn't returned either call. I emailed the same, asked him to contact me when he can because I'm worried about him. No reply. He normally returns my calls the next morning, at the latest. Even when this happened before, he responded to email the same day. So I sent him an email last night and said again: I don't know what is going on and sincerely hope he is ok, but I won't try to contact him again and if I don't hear from him soon, I'm finished. I can't keep doing this. After almost 3 years of being one of my best friends, I told him he knows where to find me and I would always be here to listen if he needs it, but that's all. It was really devastating to write, but I did it. There was absolutely NO warning leading up to this, we were chatting and he was being sweet as usual, and then he just disappeared. Maybe I'm still deluded but I feel like something probably happened in his family or work, and I really am very worried. This is the longest we have gone without speaking in almost 3 years. But I think if he cared about my feelings he would find some way to get in touch by now, if he really wanted to do it. His cell was on, it just rang and rang and went to voicemail. I don't know how long I should wait for him to respond, if at all. He will probably be back with some excuse. Even if there is someone else I would be less hurt and confused if he told me about it than I am right now. We have never met and I haven't placed any unreasonable demands on him. I guess I just need some reassurance that I'm doing the right thing, I feel like it needed to be done but it's harder than I ever imagined. I hope I'm strong enough to not contact him, and stick to what I said if he contacts me again. Link to comment
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