I seriously got to stop texting her

[pure_water]

Me and my ex where together for 3 years and we had a daughter together. She wound up cheating and saying she was confused and didn't think she was in love with me anymore. So now she is with another guy. We have to talk once a week to set up a schedule for our daughter, but I always get bad urges to send her a text telling her something just to talk to her. I don't want to do that, I want to act like I don't even care because I know that will bug the crap out of her. And when I see her I can't help but tell her I'm madly in love with her.... I always plan on just keeping it short and sweet but I can't help telling her everytime I see her. What should I do to try when I get these urges? When I don't text her or talk to her she always comes running and texting me.

[MakeItCount]

It's always a rough situation when you have a child. I would suggest next time you see her, to tell her from now your communication will be strictly about your child, business only. Whenever you pick up your kid, be polite but keep it short, grab your kid and head off. When she starts getting pissy about it, tell her you are no longer in a relationship and your only concern is your child.

 

Look, she's got a new boyfriend, she cheated on you, she's "confused". All great reasons to let her figure this out on her own. Don't be around to support her emotionally, it's just not your job anymore. There are a few threads around here with guys in the same situation. Real Deal is one of them, and he gives some of the best advice I've ever read on these boards, or anywhere for that matter. Look him up. Also, look up JonessyJack (I think I spelled that wrong)...his threads should come up if you search for Real Deal. TONS of great info on how to deal with this situation.

 

Good luck man, and be strong. Don't text her for no reason..like I said...play it cool, keep it all about your kid. When you get urges to text her, text a friend, family member, or plan something fun to do with your kid.

[luminousone]

Just post here anytime you get that urge!

 

And yes, keep your conversations short and only about your child.

 

It is easy to miss all of the good stuff when your ex is gone, but remember there were bad points too. Maybe spend a few minutes focusing on the bad points just before pick up and drop off time, so that you will not continue the delusion of what a wonderful person you are missing. Remember, she cheated on you. She treated you horribly. You deserve someone that treats you with love, honesty, and respect!

[Princess123]

Find a text buddy. If you really want to text then find someone you can just text and have a conversation to distract you. You got to tell yourself she doesn't deserve you or your time or your greatness.

[pure_water]

Well I have made it through the rest of the evening without getting hold of her. If I can make it all day tomorrow, it will be the first time I haven't contacted her in a complete day.

[vanillacupcake]

So this is what I did.. not sure what kind of phone you have. But theres a game called "Words With Friends". Its a giant scrabble game with friends and strangers. Anyway, I downloaded that and I play that whenever I feel the need to text my ex. It sounds silly, but it works.

[pure_water]

Well guys I contacted her and it turned into one big emotional rollercoaster for me. She wound up telling me that I had to move on and that she didn't want to be with me anymore and said she is so happy now with this other dude. So now I know I have to move on and have no contact. But this is such a huge blow to my ego, she has made me feel like I am not good enough and so my self confidence is so low. I just feel if I couldn't keep her how am I suppose to keep anyone else? I kept talking to her because I had hope we would get back together but she said tonight she doesn't feel that we ever will be again, I just figured she would since she always begged me back before after awhile so I held onto it but it's not letting me move on. So yeah, hard pill to swallow since we have a daughter and she doesn't want to put forth the effort. I just dread this long road ahead of me and know I'll have to accept it But I have no friends to talk to or anything. My focus was solely on her during our time together so I'm left with nothing pretty much. She was my emotional and physical support system. Now where do I go from here? I have no one to call or talk to at home but my mother. I don't even have a job and it's hard to find one now days much less find the energy to go look for one after this big ball of news came down on me.