happymeboy Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I have a low today,getting crazy! She went straight into a new relationship with a guy completely my opposite (alcohol and drug rehab) and it really sounds like a genuine relationship according to what my friend tells me.I havent seen her or spoken to her in 2,5 months,remained strong in NC but today I felt weak knowing they are making plans when she is back.Even though this might be a rebound its going super fast and seems like she is determined to make it work with him.Our 5 years gone in less than a week with a complete stranger and suddenly she is all in love, all loyal to him and I became the devil himself.Only attempt to contact me to sort some financial issues and she did it angrily.She was pissed though I went on holidays with a chick (she dating and me on celibate?).New guy is a puppy dog, writes her lots of poems,keeps telling her cant live without her,...all the slimmy stuff she doesnt like and she is in love with him ? Maybe she is a new her. Do u guys think she is over me and doesnt think of me at all ? She is telling everybody about her new love. I am just not feeling good today. I lost it.Dont know it anymore.Somethimes I think this rebound wont last,sometimes I think she is really and genuinely in love with him. Link to comment
DerekJason Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Speculation will drive you nuts man, 5 yrs is a long time, and she has def not forgotten about you, not that im trying to give you false hope. but yeah, what shes doing can no longer be a concern of yours, the sooner you grasp that, the quicker the recovery. i would recommend not contacting, seeing how youre irrational right now. good luck. Link to comment
KronicMan Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 shes with someone else a week after your 5 year relationship!!!!!!! put that phone away!! Link to comment
happymeboy Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 People are telling me she is with him just to get the support to get over me, basically rebound relationship,but what drives me crazy is that seems so genuine...Had my best time with her but I deep down I know NC is the right thing to do. I am just burning inside and keep telling myself this new r/s wont last... Link to comment
KronicMan Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 tell yourself her new rebound WILL last! Link to comment
happymeboy Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 Why ? To let her go for ever ? Link to comment
BrokenNYC Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Happymeboy, you gave me advice, so let me do the same back. After going through the similar thing, I can tell you she absolutely still thinks about you - think about who she went to - your opposite. Yet she loved you for 5 years. People dont change that quickly, and this is absolutely a rebound relationship. 2.5 months is not that long in the grand scheme of things, and although rebounds may get off to a great start, they also crash and burn quickly when she realizes she is only in it to help heal her heart, not because she loves the puppy-dog guy. Also from my experience of what we're going through, never, ever, contact if you're not in a stable and non-emotional mood. I set myself back a few times by making that mistake. Go take the longest walk you ever took and leave your phone at home. I started doing this, and although sometimes I walk for miles to nowhere in particular, it clears my head a bit and I'm tired and need to go to bed after. We all have weak days (God know's I'm having one today), but its these days that are the tests to who you are. Take your own advice you just gave me, don't call...and I have a feeling that even though this rebound seems strong, its a front and should be over soon. Link to comment
KronicMan Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 the important thing is, she is in another relationship without you. if you know this, and still want to ask her back, then go for it because its what you want. if you get rejected, then you get rejected and should move on, because, she does not want to be with you, right now. Link to comment
happymeboy Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 After ur message I feel uplifted and strong again!!!! I owe u big time, bro!!! No call, no email.I am gonna bite the bullet and have a hard time tonight but tomorrow i will thank u even more than now...and myself BIG HUGH !!!! Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Rebound relationships happen fast, thats why its called a rebound, it happens right after the shot is missed. And all those poems and stuff is cute for the first few months, then it gets old, and they realize their problems are annoying. Let her sink in that ship. At least he isnt better than you, so go find someone better than her, and take your time because desperate people take what they can get, and they never turn out good. Link to comment
BrokenNYC Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Hey man, anytime - glad I could walk you off that ledge. We're both standing on it, but we gotta be smart and not screw it up and jump. The way I see it, these situations are hard for a reason - its easy to break down and call and beg and plead or even yell. But the easy way out never brings you the most happiness. Sometimes its the hardest things we have to do to get what we truly want. Keep up the NC and let's both hope these stupid rebound relationships end very soon. After ur message I feel uplifted and strong again!!!! I owe u big time, bro!!! No call, no email.I am gonna bite the bullet and have a hard time tonight but tomorrow i will thank u even more than now...and myself BIG HUGH !!!! Link to comment
happymeboy Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 So true...he aint better than me !!!! he is needy and clingy, and talks weirdo...like he is sometimes depressed...he told her that past relationship was very painful and if he thinks of it starts to cry...that he wants to be close to his emotions...What kind of man talks like that ??? Its not sexy or cute at all. To my amazement, i know she doesnt like this type of man but yet she keeps telling him how much she misses him and how much she loves him. I AM LOST !!! or she faking it ? She got very jealous when i went with the other chick on holidays which is contrary to her "happiness" with this dude... Rebound relationships happen fast, thats why its called a rebound, it happens right after the shot is missed. And all those poems and stuff is cute for the first few months, then it gets old, and they realize their problems are annoying. Let her sink in that ship. At least he isnt better than you, so go find someone better than her, and take your time because desperate people take what they can get, and they never turn out good. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Rebound relationships sometimes last for a long time. Sometimes they become permanent. Usually when someone breaks up with you, when the relationship has been a long lasting one, they've been thinking about doing it for a long time, months and months. It's not a spur of the moment thing so they've processed a lot of the emotion already and are moving on more quickly. So get out of her life now and start to heal yourself. All you can do by following her drama now is hurt yourself. It's up to you what you want to do, but the sooner you accept the situation the sooner you can begin to heal. Whatever happens in the future is unknowable, but for now your job i s taking care of yourself. Link to comment
BrokenNYC Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I can't tell you if she's faking it, or maybe just lost in her own emotions. Here's the thing I can tell you, its only been 2.5 months and she's definitely still thinking about you in the back of her mind - hence the jealousy with you and another girl. Think about it, if you were really broken up and had some girl that would be a great distraction come along to ease that pain, wouldn't you (well maybe you wouldnt, but it prob would help ease the pain regardless). That's all this rebound is right now - a nice distraction from her real feelings and the hurt. But you can't run away from those things, and they'll catch up sooner or later as a distraction cannot last forever. At this point, you just have to take it one day at a time, and honestly take yourself out of the position to know if she's happy or whats going on with that. I don't want to know a single thing about my ex's rebound, because to me it makes no difference. It just is what it is at this moment. Only thing you can do is work on yourself and hope for the best. So true...he aint better than me !!!! he is needy and clingy, and talks weirdo...like he is sometimes depressed...he told her that past relationship was very painful and if he thinks of it starts to cry...that he wants to be close to his emotions...What kind of man talks like that ??? Its not sexy or cute at all. To my amazement, i know she doesnt like this type of man but yet she keeps telling him how much she misses him and how much she loves him. I AM LOST !!! or she faking it ? She got very jealous when i went with the other chick on holidays which is contrary to her "happiness" with this dude... Link to comment
happymeboy Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 Big true !!!!! Link to comment
happymeboy Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 To my ex : I admit that yesterday I was about to break my 2,5 months NC but BrokenNYC and some other cool guys reminded me why not to.Today more than ever I realize that you wouldnt even be worthy that effort.Stay where you are with your addict and enjoy your new honeymoon,wont last long cause I know u secretly miss me. Yes,me and my funky a$$ are now sitting on top of the mountain laughing it out loud.I left you as a princess to see u now as a begger.Your poor values and non existing judgment betrayed you. Now,look at me,strong,happy and radiant.I would have done the impossible for you and now wouldnt give the smallest crap. I still love you,not for what u r now but for what u wanted to be. p.s- Sex was boring, I was tired of ur nagging and of ur long stories from work, never liked ur mother.And u were beautiful cause I loved you! ** Of course, this wont ever be mailed...only for my ENTA brothers... Link to comment
Nick Lansing Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 It's definitely a rebound, and it'll probably crash and burn pretty soon. She's using it to try to forget you, but it won't work. She'll never forget you. This is not to say relationships that are begun right after one ends don't ever last, but this doesn't seem like one of those. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 It's definitely a rebound, and it'll probably crash and burn pretty soon. She's using it to try to forget you, but it won't work. She'll never forget you. This is not to say relationships that are begun right after one ends don't ever last, but this doesn't seem like one of those. This is a very dangerous thing to believe at this stage. It promotes false hope. Best to just accept that it's over and move on. The future will take care of itself but the job right now is to heal. Link to comment
Nick Lansing Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 This is a very dangerous thing to believe at this stage. It promotes false hope. Best to just accept that it's over and move on. The future will take care of itself but the job right now is to heal. Right, happymeboy, I don't say that to give you hope that you'll get her back, but rather to reassure you that what she's doing isn't a disavowal of you or your relationship of 5 years (though it may feel like it is right now). No matter what happens, she'll never forget you. Link to comment
happymeboy Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 completely right : very dangerous, specially if someone else reads it and is under the same circumstance. BEWARE : once they break up with u it MEANS they dont want to be with u, so do urself a favor and move on. I was so devastated,so betrayed and humilliated...and now look at me. What really helped me was going to the gym and flirting with outher chicks. My selfesteem was non existing and sad but...she humping around with a new dude and me depressed at home ?? HELL NO !!!! And u should do the same. Be brave to dare to find happiness without her !!! This is a very dangerous thing to believe at this stage. It promotes false hope. Best to just accept that it's over and move on. The future will take care of itself but the job right now is to heal. Link to comment
happymeboy Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 Thanks Nick !! but u r absolutly right about this crap rebound thing of hers wont last...he is an addict,hot tempered and not much patience. Did I mention he is also ugly ? This is what i get after 5 years of loyalty ? Keep it !!! I can get better...I KNOW BETTER !!!! To the newbiees : There r a lot of experienced people in this forum,their advises might sound cold or strange but thats due to ur estate of mind. Cool down, shut down the heart and take a grip of urself...wait till u see the true colors of ur ex and see if u would like to settle down for that. I dont !!! BE DEMANDING with urself and aim always to the best. My heart goes to every good man and woman suffering any heartbreak.BIG HUGH to you all. Right, happymeboy, I don't say that to give you hope that you'll get her back, but rather to reassure you that what she's doing isn't a disavowal of you or your relationship of 5 years (though it may feel like it is right now). No matter what happens, she'll never forget you. Link to comment
boyblue Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 People are telling me she is with him just to get the support to get over me, basically rebound relationship,but what drives me crazy is that seems so genuine...Had my best time with her but I deep down I know NC is the right thing to do. I am just burning inside and keep telling myself this new r/s wont last... And if you contact her you will help her get over you even more, stay the * * * * away man you will do much more damage that is irreversible, you will only push her more into his arms. I am telling you from experience it only screws you up more and helps them validate their reason for breaking up with you. Stay bloody strong as you can mate and come here for support, do not waiver. BB Link to comment
happymeboy Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 Damn right you are !!!! Let them sink by themselves,that whole euforia will fade pretty soon, I already can see the ending of this movie... And if you contact her you will help her get over you even more, stay the * * * * away man you will do much more damage that is irreversible, you will only push her more into his arms. I am telling you from experience it only screws you up more and helps them validate their reason for breaking up with you. Stay bloody strong as you can mate and come here for support, do not waiver. BB Link to comment
boyblue Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 that's the spirit, you will get highs where you think i'm over this and then lows where you'll crawl back with your tail between your legs but as long as your direction is forward and you keep focussing on this being about you and not her you will get there in your own time. For me personally I did not have as long a relationship as you but it took me a good 6 months to start feeling like I was properly back in the driving seat. Don't be discouraged by the time factor though you will go through an immense journey of discovering yourself and come out it a much stronger person. Learn to recognise the weak points and do things to minimise your connection with them but do give time for yourself to grieve the feeling of loss/adjustment it is only natural. You'll know when you need to do that - do it and then continue healing and moving onwards and upwards. BB Link to comment
wolflovesmoon Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Bro, i feel you, the same thing has happened to me, We spent the weekend together ( it was amazing) broke up. the next weekend she Goes on a date with this dude. she was at work talking to her co-worker about how hard it is to find a good boyfriend. the Boss ( a Dr) recommend she dates his best friend`s son ( Chemical engineer) she go on a date saturday night. sunday she post a pic of her self ( it was obvious he toke it) posted a comment along with it " i had the most romantic night. sweet kisses and nice conversations" i had fever, an immediate headache, and my heart started beating up like a vibrator. i had to run to the shower and take a very cold shower. deleted her from facebook,, minutes later she text me asking why did i remove her from facebook, i told her because i don`t want to see that crap. Monday she Goes to see a movie with him,, calls me after midnight asking if she can stop by to see me. i agree but i request to meet outside in a close by coffee shop. i toke a shower, smelled good, dress up in a nice outfit and once she picked me up she smiled and said she missed me,, i smiled and said that`s sweet. we go to the coffee shop.. talk she said she missed me and she was thinking about me the whole time, and the other guy is no way to be compared to me. she said i give her mixed emotions and feelings she never felt before.. she drop him, and come back to me, we end up breaking up again. the whole point is. those rebound relationships are what i call" shewing gum relationships" always sweet in the beginning,, the more you shew the bitter it becomes and you end up throwing it. be strong. everything will work for your own good. Good luck,, i am going thru the same as both of you, NC for 3 days now and willing to take it up to 2 weeks, unless she initiate contact first. I love her. Link to comment
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