bob333 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I've posted my story else where, I was last here in March earlier this year. Its been 12 long months since I split with my GF, I thought by now I would be well and truly over her, but I'm not, I still miss her and wish we were together every day. I keep thinking she will be coming back, as she has done once before when we split up. I've split up with others and managed to move on, but this ones different, she is very much missed, I ache inside to be together. I do NC for 2/3 months at a go, but feel no different, over the long 12 months I've grown to manage the pain, so life can go on, I'm out and about, I am fun again for all, but I still hold a flame deep inside. I recently started a new relationship, she is a nice person, I like her very much and I think she likes me, and I try to be the best I can for her, but I'm not sure it will last, there are children from previous relationships, and money issues ... I just want something fun and simple right now - go out, paint the town red, lots of mad sex, but this seems complicated, she is very guarded and we are confined by her responsibilities, but saying that I will try my best - I want to see over the superficial. I have seen my ex 5 times over the last 12 months, the last few times (April, then August) I have waited for her outside work (she's only 5 minutes away from me here) and I've offered her a lift home, and we've sat and nattered in the rush hour traffic. She tells me she is still in a relationship, but I'm not sure - the conversations dont lead me to think so, I wonder if she is just doing that 'single thing' that some women seem to do after being broken hearted. But I could be wrong, and maybe she is going to marry an immigrant after all, silly girl - I'll assume he just wants one thing from her, a visa, and if thats the case the relationship wont last, she just wants to be married, and that is what he's offering her. In the last 6 months I feel I've almost moved on many times, but then slipped back again. Just before I entered this new relationship I felt great, its very early days ... and maybe I'm just comparing, and as the relationship develops maybe my mind will change, when we are together (we only see each other at weekends) all seems fine, but when I'm on my own my mind wanders back to wondering about my ex, in the last week I have slipped back and felt very very sad about things, almost like the clock has been wound back 6 months, or more ... maybe I feel this way entering a new relationship - its awakened some feelings ... personally I just feel the new relationship is just a shadow of what I had before. Is this how one feels after you've had your heart broken, and you enter a new relationship. Maybe I'm accepting second best and just looking for a distraction to the heart ache I've felt almost constantly these last 12 months.? Am I wrong to think she will get dumped on and run back to me - as she has done before, or am holding onto false hope and am torturing myself, I want so much to go round to her work and grab her and put my arms around her and say 'come back' but I know it is futile if she is with another now. Her contract runs out at the end of the year, and get the feeling she will vanish without a trace, that makes me sad, but also makes me think it might force me to try and move on, which is just not happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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