Quick question a tough subject

[YoungManFromTx]

My ex is still on my phone plan. Her credit and income make it very difficult for her to secure her own plan so i let her stay on mine but she is very and i mean VERY inconsistent about paying her portion (which i let slide and i shouldnt but she has my son).

 

My question is would YOU feel its ok if you were in that situation and your ex was using the phone to talk to future/current love interests. Personally i feel its kind of disrespectful especially since we are doing the roommate thing currently and talking about working on us. She has at least been honest about it lol but i dont think that justifys it. Should i be ok with this or should i tell her she needs her own plan before doing this as i feel disrespected.

[abitbroken]

She can get a prepaid or pay as you go plan regardless of her credit. I would inform her that she can port her number to one of those phones and that you will be dropping her from your plan in 30 days or however many days that makes sense for you - 10 days, 15, etc. You might have to go with her. who knows.

 

Yes, if my new love interest was paying his ex's cell phone plan UNLESS she was the mother of his child and it was to insure the kids could call him and it was just for that - I would consider it a red flag that there was unfinished business.

[Lithp]

I don't know that is kind of tricky, especially because she has your child and you want to know she has a way of contacting you. However, there are such things as pre-paid, or pay-as-you-go phones that don't require any credit checks, and they're fairly cheap. You're also not required to pay a bill, and putting on $25-30 will typically last a month or so, even with a texting plan. Maybe you could try talking to her about that, as really you have no obligation to be providing for her any longer.

 

edited to add - a bitbroken beat me to it

[RedDress]

Umm... wait. I think I'm missing something. You live together, you have a child together, you are broken up but talking about working things out... yet she is talking to other people?

 

I think the phone plan is the least of your worries.

 

Either you are broken up or you are not. If you are broken up, she needs to look for her own place and find a way to get her own phone and stop leading you on. If you are talking about getting back together, she needs to stop talking to other dudes.

 

Not to be rude... but it sounds like she's trying to keep her meal ticket happy while she searches for another one. You should feel disrespected. Big time.

[dan10]

you're talking about working on you? why talk about it instead of just doing it? but thats besides the point. i think that first off you need to think of the kid and what is best for them. so if not letting it slide anymore is going to cause problems for your kid i think you have to ask yourself are you offended enough to let that conflict be around your son.

 

but i do have to agree with reddress... it sounds like she's trying to milk you until she can find someone else to pay for her stuff

[YoungManFromTx]

Its VERY complicated. I'm in the process of taking care of a few things so i can start working towards a degree early next year. I do have a descent job im a certified welder but i've pretty much hit the limits of what i will make doing it. I get ALOT of mixed signals from her. Last weekend we are cuddling pretty much acting like a couple. Teusday hits and the work week starts and she wants nothing to do with me. Right now im puzzled i want to give her her space because i know if i try to force it i wont like what will happen. But on the other hand i dont like being on a string. Its not very fun...

 

As far as whats best for me son. Making sure she is back to being capable of taking care of him. Thats one of the reasons i moved back in because i noticed a few things that werent exactly neglect but my son deserves better. Not really going to go into much detail but i will just say i dont want the tv used as a baby sitter.

 

Any advice on what i should do from here would be appreciated. I have no intentions of moving out. I do love her. I do want to see if a relationship would be possible in the future. Over coming trust issues is difficult but i think the largest problem right now is how self absorbed she is... She thinks shes some hot sh*t. I try to be nice but i think it might be time for a reality check...

[abitbroken]

I think to heal one of you needs to move out. You can't heal unless that happens. Or if you must be roommates - leave on the weekends. Go to a buddy or relative's house or she must to avoid being like old times on the weekend. I don't think there is anything complicated about the cell phone. Even buy her the first prepaid recharge card if it makes you happy - but no more than that.