Brother's ex-GF ran off with my 1yr old nepthew & she won't allow us to see him.

[aporia14]

I think you do have a point. She scored very high for PPD and that is why I helped as much I did with the baby. The problem is that she refuses to speak to someone about her feelings.

[OptomisticGirl]

I think you do have a point. She scored very high for PPD and that is why I helped as much I did with the baby. The problem is that she refuses to speak to someone about her feelings.

 

Which isn't uncommon, really. Even as a teenager you never want to admit something is wrong with you, especially if that something wrong is making you into a bad parent. You have 2 options as I see it. You can either go at her full force with the courts and CPS and everything and potentially lose any form of a relationship and trust with her or try to regain that trust and keep that relationship open while still trying to make sure your nephew is okay. I'm an aunt, I'd be the first one knocking down the door if I thought someone was harming my nephew or he was in a dangerous situation, but you also have to step back from your anger, which I think may also be coming from how you feel about your brother reacting to all this, more than actually being mad at the girl.

[Seraphim]

I agree, someone being better, or that the parents poor or uneducated or unemployed is not a reason to take someone's children. There are plenty of uneducated people who are great parents, there are plenty of poor people who are great parents. If you felt she was unfit it would have been easier to call CPS on her WHILE she lived in your home. In fact if you knew she was abusive I am not sure why you did not call.

 

As for the reason about why she ran, she probably felt you were going to take her child from her emotionally and every other way. It is a fine line that families walk when it comes to children.

 

She is probably depressed as well.

 

Someone I am sure will call CPS on her where she is at some point. It does not matter if he can not talk or not dr's can see signs of abuse and neglect.Hopefully it is before she does in some way harm her child permanently. I feel sad for that baby boy.

[abitbroken]

Unfortunately, if your brother has no interest in the child, the only one who can petition for visitation is your parents as the grandparents and they might not get it. The only way you can is if you were your brother's legal guardian prior to him being 18 and were acting as his parent. I think, really that you should have a conversation with your brother that you understand he doesn't want to be with her, but there are ways for him to not be her boyfriend while still being in touch with and seeing his child. He doesn't have to marry her or be the boyfriend if he doesn't want to, but he is a father. Maybe that will change his mind about stepping up and doing something.

[Fudgie]

Your brother needs to call the police as it sounds like she kidnapped the child and she can't do that. He does have some legal rights as the biological father. But that's up to him to follow up on.

 

As for you, no, you aren't going to be able to do anything. You don't have rights as an aunt, sorry. The court isn't going to take the baby away just because she is young and dirt poor. Young and dirt poor people have kids all the time and are legally entitled to that, although I think we can agree that it's definitely not the best choice to have a baby when you're young and dirt poor... but that's a different topic...

 

I don't blame her family for staying out of it. She sounds like a really immature basket case. I'm sorry, but if a 15-year-old trainwreck in my family got knocked up with a kid, I'm staying out of it. Call CPS if I feel there is an issue but I'm not going to take the child or get involved in her life. Really, many times it's best just to walk away from crap like that. You'll live longer if you do.

[tinkerbellkj]

This is spot on. I worked for CPS in a different state so I am only speaking from my own experience, because I have seen things like this. I will tell that even if you did call CPS in NY they are unlikely to send them back to your state anyway. They will pursue (if they deem necessary) a case in NY. If the child is removed from his mother they will more than likely do a home study to seek placement in NY near the mother, ie. with her family. Of course you could request a home study be done on you but the courts are highly unlikely to remove the child from the mother and place the child that far away UNLESS the mother agrees. Of course, if your brother was suitable and could pass a home study, they would be more likely to send the child back to MD. Also, in many states there is no such thing as grandparents rights--- I do not know about your state though.

 

If your brother would like to petition the courts he may do so, however, in some states, it is NOT illegal for the mother to leave with the child if she is not married to him, he is not the 'legal' father (on the birth certificate) or there is no pending court order. Is he currently ordered to pay child support? Is he on the birth certificate?

 

It's a difficult road, and really the only one with control is your brother who does not seem to want the control.