To be more than friends?

[boardcool]

Ok, So I am a 25 year old male who has known this female for several months. We have become very close in the sense that not only do we work together, but we go out almost every weekend together. Any where from baseball games, movies, hanging with each others friends, to just bar hoping. We have yet to hook up per se. We how ever fallen asleep in each others arms and held hands. All this has been going on for several months. Mind you, in between all of this I had been seeing someone else; but quickly realized what I was doing with this other person wasn't what I wanted, and what I wanted was my co-worker. Fast forward to this weekend. She had a party where my parents were invited by her mom. Yea, kind of awkward I know. Well the party went great and my parents and her parents loved each others presence. I came to find out that her mom and mine have been talking and think we are soooo perfect for each other. Her mom loves me! Kind of like crazy, she thinks I am a gem! hahaha... Anyways, me and my co-workers relationship inside of work is great, and wouldn't be able to tell that anything is somewhat going on between us. I want to take this further but do not know how. She considers me one of her best friends and we have only known each other for a few months. How do I proceed? Do I just straight up ask her on a date? Someone please chime in... Thnx!!

[puppylove89]

What kind of work environment is it?

[blackhawks1287]

Well hopefully you aren't friend zoned, but next time you go out...just be more playful, touchy, flirty, and try to get a kiss in if the moment is right (even if you are a little buzzed). Having some liquid courage in the two of you to drop the walls and tensity will help out big time.

 

But don't ask her flat out, because maybe she already thinks you two are an item or are a potential item...especially if her mom invited yours to a party...how that went down I don't know.

 

But I would say just make a move the next time you "hang out" because I am sure she think you two are just casually dating at a slow pace

[boardcool]

I work in a small office full of all girls. We are literally right next to each other all day. We joke back and forth, but we do that with all of our co-workers. It is very hard to say whether I am already friend zoned with her to be honest. Like why would be 'snuggling' and holding hands and what not? I have doubts that shes into me, obviously, as I am writing this here, but I do want to make this work and am really afraid of rejection. She is an awesome chick who my parents have continued to rant and rave about the past few days. I doubt she thinks we are an item as we don't text or talk all the time or I am never like 'hey what are you doing after work, yatty yatty yatty". Yea, I do have an idea of what she is doing each weekend because I ask or she tells me, and then we make plans from there, but we aren't really up in each others business per se.

 

I was thinking earlier of how to go about this and am still a little confused. Yea, a little liquid courage would help, but we have held hands and slept together when we passed out while drinking, I just think ityll be like any other time... I kind of want an honest answer from her up front just because I feel I am a little old to be playing these games. Time is a ticking.

 

She did have a rocky relationship with her ex whom she was married to and had a child with, so yea, she could very well be hesitant to get involved with someone. Mind you, this was about a year ago. Her child even loves me too, I know its not saying much. It looks to be that her whole family as well as mine is routing for us to be together, just hasn't happened yet!

 

I am still a little confused on how to go about this... I need a clear plan, thanks blackhawk for your suggestions; wouldn't mind hearing more of what others have to say. I really don't want to ruin our friendship either because she is a great person that I love being around, as you can see....

[Capricorn3]

Mind you, in between all of this I had been seeing someone else; but quickly realized what I was doing with this other person wasn't what I wanted, and what I wanted was my co-worker.

Quick question: Are you still seeing this other person?

[boardcool]

Quick question: Are you still seeing this other person?

 

No I am not seeing her anymore, I haven't seen in her in over a month.... does that make a difference?

[oldenoughtoknow]

I agree with blackhawk. Don't talk to her about it. You guys hang out all the time anyway, so don't ask her on a "date." Just segue one of your hangouts. Be a little closer to her than normal. Touch her a little more than normal. When the time is right, you're close and looking into each other's eyes, lean in to kiss her. You know, just like in the movies. Talking won't get you anywhere - you have to make her feel it.

[boardcool]

I agree with blackhawk. Don't talk to her about it. You guys hang out all the time anyway, so don't ask her on a "date." Just segue one of your hangouts. Be a little closer to her than normal. Touch her a little more than normal. When the time is right, you're close and looking into each other's eyes, lean in to kiss her. You know, just like in the movies. Talking won't get you anywhere - you have to make her feel it.

 

Yea, I know, I think it would be kind of awkward if I ask her on a date just because that is not what she is used to with me... but still, I feel like this is the only way to get things to progress... It is very hard to tell at times, especially at work, because we will go to lunch all the time on our breaks, but we are very casual with one another... is that normal? Like I really want this to work and all, but am nervous! I need to cup the balls. I am scared of rejection and because I see her all the time I don't want to mess up what we do have! Should I just take her to any old place or what? Dinner? I dunno I am lost on all of this because I have failed many times with women in the past and don't want to make the same mistakes. I used to play hard to get with her in the sense that I wouldn't hit her up or anything, and I saw that working to my advantage bc she would be upset that I was always busy. I just don't know if her interest level is as high as mine! ahhhhh!!!!

[oldenoughtoknow]

I don't know where you guys live or what you normally do, but choose something that's not too out of the ordinary, at night, and not too noisy or crowded. Something like a dimly lit bar and grill. Sit away from people. Have a few drinks and an appetizer. Sit closer to her than you normally do. Touch her arm, touch her hand, see if she's receptive. After a few drinks, lock eyes with her and lean in for a kiss. She'll know what you're doing. If she is still receptive, you have your answer as to whether she's interested. If she's not receptive, you can blame the alcohol and go back to just friends.

[boardcool]

I don't know where you guys live or what you normally do, but choose something that's not too out of the ordinary, at night, and not too noisy or crowded. Something like a dimly lit bar and grill. Sit away from people. Have a few drinks and an appetizer. Sit closer to her than you normally do. Touch her arm, touch her hand, see if she's receptive. After a few drinks, lock eyes with her and lean in for a kiss. She'll know what you're doing. If she is still receptive, you have your answer as to whether she's interested. If she's not receptive, you can blame the alcohol and go back to just friends.

 

I think that is a great idea! Hahaha, I guess I will have to try this in the next week or so... I mean we have plans to go to a baseball game tomorrow, but that's with 2 other people, so probably not the best idea to go ahead and attempt it then. Now, just getting over that fear is where I am going to have a problem! It seems like the chasing I am doing with her is getting the best of me. I mean its not like I am eaten up over it or anything. It's just some girls in the past have shown such a high interest level, that when I am trying to have something that I may not have, it makes me try even harder!

 

I am extremely scared of rejection with her because its crazy to know that all our families are routing for this. I know I am not dating her family or she is mine, but it gives me all more reason to. Most of my relationships in the past, my parents haven't really enjoyed my girlfriend. This is really something I want to work out, but am scared to get the ball rolling!!!

 

I also have a problem of making a lot of girls just my friends, and I hate it! Granite, I have a bunch of guy friends, but also female friends that I hang out with on the reg. I don't want her to be one of those. I want her to be my girlfriend haha, we will see how this goes, its just nerve racking!

[boardcool]

Anyone? a little more advice would help a bunch!!! Thanks!!

[boardcool]

So I have decided to just ask her out on a formal date and see what happens... Is this a good idea or should just go for it and spill my guts? I have friends telling me that all will go well and are sure she will say yes. Her friends are asking mine if he likes her and how much her parents like me and yatty yatty yatty.... When it come down to it, to be honest, I am just scared of rejection!! Ahhhhh! Any more want to chime in??