yoshi33 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I really need your opinion. Im 37, have just left my husband for 3 months now, we have two wonderful kids together. We've been together for 12 years. At first i over looked many things, didn't see them because i was in a cloud of love. Sometimes when we would go out to a bar together he would all of a sudden turn miserable and send me home, later to find out he thought i was looking at another guy or too many guys were looking at me. (All were unfounded). He became more jealous did not like me to go to the gym to workout, screamed at me for 4 hours straight, but blamed it on the cost of the gym (i was paying for it). So i quit the gym, did not like my kind of music, threw it out the window of the car. When we met i was a bartender, working my way threw nursing school. He did not like that enviornment for me and i agreed, but it paid all the bills, his too, and paid for school. I bought him a car and paid for everything when we went out (he was not working at the time); even paid on his debt. He constantly accused me of cheating, sometimes jokely but many serious. Went on a rampage one night smashed everything in his path, except for the tv he broke his foot on kicking on it. All because i said another man was nice. Once i got my nursing degree and began working i got pregnant, after my maternity was over i needed to work, but we agreed that babysitters were not going to raise our children so i should give up my nursing and go back to the bar so he would work full time days and i nights only 3 nights a week, Our relationship went down the drain, i read every relationship book, tried to get him to go away with me for the weekend to reconnect and he would just belittle me saying im a terrible mother, ditching my child, so we went no where, we have no friends, i never spend a minute away from my daugher except for work. I was not allowed to go shopping, grocery shopping, our for lunch, even had to bring my daugher to an job interview. I was to have no phone calls at night or on his weekends from anyone, that is his time. I could not watch tv, garden, or take kids to park, without hearing about it for hours after, so i stop it all hoping it would make him happy, he wasn't. I made sure the house was spotless, dinner ready, all laundry done put away, kids bathed all before he came home. he once threw out my dinner because i did not make a salad with it, or he would throw it out cause its not like his mothers and would call his mother for the receipe and tell me to do it her way (I've worked in restaurants for a long time, i can cook very well). He kicked me out of the house with my 8month old, an hour before i started work, because i had to work a long weekend, and we have no family around. I made twice as much as he did, but he dictated how it was to be spent, all the money i did save he made me take it out. He began to spend every second in his garage, gave me the silent treatment for two weeks straight once, because i asked him if i could go bymyelf to the mall to pick up something (I haven't left the house with out kids in 4 months) just wanted some quiet time, well he gave it too me! So i did not go. He would just leave for 2 hours, i nver asked where he went sometimes i wouldn't even know he ws gone till i see him come home. He called me a once for taking my kids to the zoo, infront of my 4 yr old daughter, she started crying im trying to comfort her and hes 2 feet behind me screaming on top of his lungs how terrible i am and nasty names, she thought it was all her fault, because i did not tell him the night before. We've havent hugged in 6 years or cuddled on the couch, i would try and he would push me away, he would threaten to dump me constantly and insult my love for our kids, and blamed all of this on me being a bartender. So i Found a great day job, great pay, at the university, told him i was going to take it stop working at the bar, be home every night, he told me he would quit his (now great job) before our children ever spent one minute in daycare. I was a lazy mother, and only lazy mothers put them there because they dont' want to raise them. So i gave that opportunity up. I begged him too stop this behaviour, he would say he was glad he treated me this way so i would understand how angry i make him. so i finally left, i'm so afraid of him been 3 months now and he wants me back he won't get help for his anger issues, but is texting me everyday, saying i gave up on us and our kids. Should i go back, he's been nice for 2 weeks now. Link to comment
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