zingzoom81 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 First of all let me thank everyone who reads this and replies in advance. I will try to make it as compact and to the point so I do not run on too much! My wife has had a few instances of rape in her past. One when she was very young, one when she was a teenager and one when she was in her early twenties. Her last rape was a couple years before she met me. I know she went to counseling for a few sessions and most doctors wanted to give her meds when made her worse in her opinion. Anyhow, she let me know about her past a few dates into our relationship. I did not think any differently of her and and always respected her privacy when it came to this topic. We dated for several years and we we engaged for two years and now have been married for two years. This is when the problems started to arise. She has always been loyal and trustworthy but I read her cell phone messages and it was with a girlfriend of her describing a guy at her school and how he was attractive. I got hurt by this and approached my wife about it and this is where I believe the problem started to manafest. She agreed that before we have kids she needed to go to counseling to deal with her past. We had been hands off sexually when she first started going but one night when I thought she was awake I started to rub her sexually and she woke up and froze in a "rape panic". She didn't tell me until a couple days later and I was disgusted with myself because I didn't want it to be like that. Anyhow, I started to go to counseling as well to sort through some of the issues with my wife and the lack of affection. However, the major problem came up last night. She stated that she thinks she can never be with me sexually again and does not trust me at all. I have gone out of my way to make her feel comfortable like sleeping in another room, knocking on doors if she has them closed, doing all the chores around the home, making dinner, etc. At this point I am confused on what to do. We talked about divorce and she said she didn't know and she couldn't give any type of commitment. I told her I support her no matter what path she goes down but obviously I want to make this work. I really need help because I am not eating and the anxiety is killing me. I would be fine with no sexual activity if she can at least give me some sort of indication that there is a "light at the end of the tunnel". She could not indicate anyway if there was or was not. Thank you again for advice you can give me! I need any I can get Link to comment
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