So I'm shallow for disliking overweight girls yet.....

[dog stevens]

So I'm shallow for disliking overweight girls yet girls aren't shallow for disliking tall guys? I've had lots of girls tell me that I'm too tall and that they don't like tall guys. Then I get called shallow for disliking overweight women. How is that I'm shallow and the girls that don't like tall guys aren't shallow?

[Fudgie]

They both are shallow.

 

Wanting any sort of physical trait is in itself "shallow". We are all shallow to some degree.

[annie24]

I don't think it's shallow - everyone has a preference for what they are attracted to, one way or another. i think it's shallow though if that's the ONLY thing you care about/want in a partner.

[DylanNotorious]

Because apparently being called "tall" isn't as offense, as being called "fat".

 

LoL

[annie24]

right - fat has a pejorative connotation.

[hers]

It's how you communicate it. Saying "I don't like overweigh women or fat women" sounds more harsh than "I prefer slender women", just as saying "I don't date tall peopl" is more harsh than "I prefer dating someone closer to my height". We are all shallow somewhat. That's society. But it's how you word it.

 

And also make sure you prefer slender women for your own reasons and mot bc of what society tells you is more attractive.

[Moontiger]

everyone is a little shallow, we all have certain preferences or types we are attracted to.

 

I'm curious what you would consider "fat". There are some guys out there who will break up with a girl if she gains 10lbs, that is higher on the shallow scale then a guy who has a problem with his girlfriend becoming obese.

[thejigsup]

Well, I will gladly date fat men, but I refuse to date uneducated men. It's the same thing. Shallow? Sure, but I want what I want. We all do. I want a tall man who is college educated and supports himself. He has to be a great conversationalist and love to cook. I am tall and average weight, college educated, great converstionalist, and I support myself. I want nothing I am not myself, except the cooking part. I hate to cook and refuse to do that!

[DN]

Unfortunately, double standards like this do exist - there was a similar example just recently.

[Oneironaut]

"Shallow" would be, "All fat chicks are dumb and ugly...the *****es should lose some weight so they can get a man".

 

That is a far cry from, "I'm not attracted to women who are overweight".

[Fudgie]

jigs,

 

I don't think not wanting to date uneducated men is "shallow".

 

I say that both cases of wanting only slim women and tall men are "shallow" because they are simply based on physical appearance, nothing else. Am I condemning it? Nah, everyone has their physical preferences. But it's still shallow in that it's superficial. Just something that we have to accept about ourselves and everyone else. Everyone has a couple of shallow traits that they want in a partner. It's not necessarily a bad thing.

 

Anyway, I don't think wanting to date someone who is educated is shallow. It's usually not for "physical" appeal. You probably do it because you are on the same level as the guy and you feel emotionally stimulated more. I don't think that's shallow at all. That's all about having a better connection and compatibility.

[Dougie_D]

What do you guys mean by being "UNEDUCATED"? That's way too broad of a statement.

[Fudgie]

What do you guys mean by being "UNEDUCATED"? That's way too broad of a statement.

 

It's up to the person to decide for themselves what they feel is "uneducated" for them.

 

For some, they would want someone who at least graduated high school. Others want someone with a Bachelor's degree. And others, perhaps like jigs (who has had more education than a lot of people) would want someone with a Master's or even a doctorate.

 

I don't see how that's particularly shallow unless you're just thinking of all the money that could be potentially coming in. If you just need that intellectual stimulation of someone who has had the same schooling, then why not? I would do the same.

[tmtex]

LOL, I am short, 5'5 Male 43 yrs not really ever had a problem getting a women. Anyway, I thought all women(short or tall) want tall. Taller the better. Some of the best sex I have ever had was with a chubby women. Most of the worst sex I ever have had has been with hot skinney women who think/know they are hot stuff.

[Lithp]

I agree that both would be shallow to an extent.

 

I guess I'm also shallow maybe? As I have an issue with guys who are too thin. Guys who wear tight skinny jeans and have bones sticking out - can't handle it. There's this guy who's been after me for the past few years and that was always the biggest turn off to me, though his personality was also a huge factor.

 

My boyfriend is chubby and I LOVE IT. I love love love it. I don't know what it is but it's drives me crazy when I see this tall, chubby, hairy man coming at me.

 

He is the most beautiful thing to me.

[Dougie_D]

No one is really SHALLOW. It's a word to explain someone's feelings towards someone when YOU don't AGREE with it.

[Oneironaut]

What do you guys mean by being "UNEDUCATED"? That's way too broad of a statement.

 

I realize this wasn't directed at me, but as a female who is highly attracted to intelligence, I'd like to add my two cents.

 

I would have a difficult time being with a guy who was clueless about spelling, grammar, and punctuation, and who didn't have a fairly good grasp on current events and politics.

 

No one is really SHALLOW. It's a word to explain someone's feelings towards someone when YOU don't AGREE with it.

 

Really? So a guy saying, "I only like chicks with big boobs because small boobs are ugly" wouldn't be shallow?

[ProtestTheHero]

I don't think it's shallow - everyone has a preference for what they are attracted to, one way or another. i think it's shallow though if that's the ONLY thing you care about/want in a partner.

 

This is the best definition.

 

I think it's odd to say "I don't like overweight women." There are plenty of overweight women that I hang out with and what not, so the word "like" is just too strong in that context.

 

I can say that I'm not sexually attracted to overweight women, though. I don't think it makes me shallow because that feeling of sexual attraction is not something I can control. I can't reason my way into being sexually attracted to someone. For that reason, I don't date overweight women because I think everyone should choose a partner that truly desires them or else things will majorly suck for all involved.

 

However, just being attractive or being relatively skinny does not make up for being boring, a jerk, or an idiot.

 

There's also a window of tolerance for me. 5 - 15 pounds....whatever. If you're soft/have love handles it's whatever. Doesn't bother me. It's the 30ish+ range where it becomes a problem for me.

 

That being said, I also realize that there's plenty of women who are overweight that I wouldn't date who also wouldn't want to date me. I'm not looking to establish tiers or hierarchies, I'm just interested in what works for me without screwing other people up.

 

Saying "I only date intelligent men" is not that different from "I only date women who are not overweight." In both examples, there is a combination of genetics and discipline involved. It's just "sophisticated" to say the former and not the latter, but logically it's not very different.

[DN]

"Shallow" - a word to describe what other people find unattractive.

"Preference" - a word to describe what you find unattractive.

[ApocalypseDreams]

"Shallow" - a word to describe what other people find unattractive.

"Preference" - a word to describe what you find unattractive.

 

Hahaha! Spot on!

[ProtestTheHero]

"Shallow" - a word to describe what other people find unattractive.

"Preference" - a word to describe what you find unattractive.

 

Another very good distinction.

[Dougie_D]

When saying "I don't date FAT people" these will be the 2 different thought patterns.

 

I see FAT people hook up and get along with people. Why can't YOU? - I will be "shallow"

 

I don't ever see FAT people hook up and get along. Why take a chance? - I will be "better off"

 

It's just an opinion.

[Tryptophan]

I like taller men.

 

I don't care what people label it. Why do people need labels on everything? I don't need to explain my preferences to anyone or change my standards to suit societal pressure.

[Eocsor]

So I'm shallow for disliking overweight girls yet girls aren't shallow for disliking tall guys? I've had lots of girls tell me that I'm too tall and that they don't like tall guys. Then I get called shallow for disliking overweight women. How is that I'm shallow and the girls that don't like tall guys aren't shallow?

 

Wait, there are actually women who DON"T like tall guys!!! When did this happen??? Did they reverse the laws of physical attraction? From everything I've seen and read tall guys are way more likely to attract the opposite sex. They've even done studies where they showed short men with great jobs to a group of women and then tall guys with average jobs to the same group. They preferred the tall guys with the average jobs the majority of the time. Tall rules.

[Lincoln]

Not at all, how we keep ourselves says a lot about us and overweight slovenly appearance shows a lack of care about oneself, low self esteem, and an inability to take control of oneself. Being tall can't be helped, or controlled.