jackieee Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 * After my ex broke up with me, I initiate NC and a month later my ex start texting me again. The text gets flirty, and he keeps talking about the good times we have, commenting how good I look and even talks about our sex life. It goes on for a month until I confronted him what exactly does he wants, he said he just wants to be friends, and later the texts went less frequent, not flirting anymore and now I haven't hear from him for 5 days when he used to text me almost every day. I don't get it, if being friends is what he wants, bringing up * old memories certainly is sending out mixed signal and confusing too. My question is, why dumpers in general will want to contact the ex when they didn't want together back together, and when the ex already initiate the NC? If they want to be friends, why flirting with them again and when comes to serious talk, they go cold again. * Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 You initiated NC but didn't hold your ground. NC includes ignoring contact attempts by the dumper. Therefore, this is NOT NC. Why do they do it? Because they want you be to available. It's an ego boost. Or they could just be weaning themselves off you. It could be them easing their guilt over breaking your hurt. Once you make it clear that you're available, they've gotten what they need so they no longer feel the need to keep contacting you. STOP. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Ego stroke. Nothing else! Stay NC! Link to comment
Mystery Enigma Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 You initiated NC but didn't hold your ground. NC includes ignoring contact attempts by the dumper. Therefore, this is NOT NC. Why do they do it? Because they want you be to available. It's an ego boost. Or they could just be weaning themselves off you. It could be them easing their guilt over breaking your hurt. Once you make it clear that you're available, they've gotten what they need so they no longer feel the need to keep contacting you. STOP. You know, she kept messaging me over Facebook with funny links and crap. I got frustrated that she continued as she did it 3 times in a week. I just asked her what she wanted and she got mad and blocked me. It was truly bizarre... not sure where she gets the ego boost or weaning from... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 You know, she kept messaging me over Facebook with funny links and crap. I got frustrated that she continued as she did it 3 times in a week. I just asked her what she wanted and she got mad and blocked me. It was truly bizarre... not sure where she gets the ego boost or weaning from... Because they get the attention. Link to comment
Mystery Enigma Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Because they get the attention. I suppose, but it doesn't explain the whole blocking thing. Unless this is only a move in her game, I'm not going to play if that's the case. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I suppose, but it doesn't explain the whole blocking thing. Unless this is only a move in her game, I'm not going to play if that's the case. The blocking, is because you called her on her behavior. The attention seeking after the break up, is pretty standard from those who don't give a crap about our feelings. They contact to get attention and prevent you from moving on. Best to stay NC, because all you will get is more pain. Link to comment
delicous Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I really have no clue, but I have been this (the dumper) for the last year soooo...Maybe Im to scared to move on and sex is A MAZING.... So, I definetly think when your ex was texting you none stop every day, he prob was thinking about you sexually and wanting to make that fantasy a reality... I did this the other day, know Im going to regret it because its always the same thing with this current guy Ive been on and off with for a whole year. See: I did similar...But prior to the picture I sent to him, I was texting him about other things, like our issues, how I want to fix them, how I don't want to move on....So its wasn't just a sexual escipade or entirely attention seeking...It was more of "another" attempt to be together again.... After I sent it, he called me minutes later and.....I took out all of my aggression in bed with him, we were both very dominant. it kinda felt like we did this instead of saying actual words.... Prior to taking to his room and ravishing him, I confronted him on his behavior, talked a lot of crap to him about how he doesn't deserve me, he told me he is sorry and mentioned to me hes not talking to his ex anymore, but....he could of been lieing.......We aren't officially back together but ...I am hopeing to ask him soon because its killing me.... He and I are still talking daily... I think to each its own...Each situation is different, theres no actual dead on answer to this question. Link to comment
jackieee Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Thanks, I agree that an ex can contact you for many reasons and only he knows. I would like to know if there's any dumpers around that could share your side of stories? Many say an ex comes back to you maybe because they miss the sex and nothing else. But somehow I wonder, if it is just a need to have someone to sleep with or there are still unresolved feelings they had for the dumpees? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Thanks, I agree that an ex can contact you for many reasons and only he knows. I would like to know if there's any dumpers around that could share your side of stories? Many say an ex comes back to you maybe because they miss the sex and nothing else. But somehow I wonder, if it is just a need to have someone to sleep with or there are still unresolved feelings they had for the dumpees? If he had unresolved feelings, he would let you know, not play games. If he cared he would not go cold when you questioned him on his behavior. Time to look at the actions, not what you want to see. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Lastly, it doesn't matter if he has unresolved feeling if he doesn't want a relationship. Find someone who will appreciate you. Link to comment
ForumGuy Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 .....only a move in her game, I'm not going to play if that's the case.This is exactly what it is, and good for you for not playing. My philosophy anyway... Link to comment
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