Was the whole thing just a fake?

[Charingx1]

Within a month of my ex dumping me after a 15 month relationship she joined a dating website. I found out big argument (I had told her don't contact me if your looking elsewhere) and she blamed me saying it was for confidence that I had drained from her.

 

Since found out she's back on there most nights and had a date arranged but he obviously fell through as she's back on there again.

 

I guess this is just a rant really. She's always sought attention from other men, cheated on her ex numerous times. Didn't cheat on me but found out she lied about talking to her ex and did sort of ego boosting stuff like any emails from guys she would save like she's almost excited by the attention.

 

When we split I asked her to love herself, stop needing validation from men. It seems that because I wouldn't put up with secrets when with her or her entertaining male attention from men interested in her that she lost confidence. Then within a month she's seeking validation from men again. I mean some guy she doesn't even fancy asked for her number and she refused but was far too over excited and intrigued by it. She thrives on male attention.

 

Just makes me wonder if our whole relationship was a joke. I'm worth so little to her that rather than have a period of being single, she hunts out random men online.

 

Sorry just a rant.

[Sweetkisses22]

Not saying your the reason..but when I was dating my ex who I broke up with. I was on a dating website when things started to get bad. I never meant to really meet anyone but my ex basically put me down and never gave me any love or respect. Was never there when I needed him. And that's why I did it. Usually if your girl is going elsewhere for love there's a reason and it's not just about her.

[blackhawks1287]

My ex is the same way, but she broke up with me...didn't go on a dating site, but the type to NEED and CRAVE validation from friends and a BF.

 

Granted I say that still being single, but I don't mind being single.

 

I don't feel like my relationship was a joke, and deep down you know yours was not either, but...live and learn. Our ex's sound young and that is the whole thing. When they are used to getting certain things constantly, getting a constant high from the contact and compliments...that when he or she doesn't get that then they start seeking it elsewhere, sometimes not even realize that is why they are doing it to begin with.

 

Young love is all I can say...

[catfeeder]

Who initiated the breakup?

[Makeit]

Sounds like my trashy x. She would do anything for attention. Even from ugly douchebags.

[Charingx1]

She broke up with me. I just feel upset that she chose to immediately dive into looking for someone new. She didn't change at all, still seeking attention and validation as she doesn't love herself. I feel sad for her I truly do.

[ChocoBears]

Maybe she feels lonely and just wants companionship. Or she wants to avoid being hurt or sad or angry, or she just wants distraction. She may not be looking for anything serious or ready for anything serious. I miss my ex terribly, but within the week of the breakup I wanted to join a dating site, even though I was/am nowhere near ready to date. Well, I didn't end up joining. But I don't think it means that your relationship was fake. If anything, doesn't her joining a dating site make you want to move on as well?

[Tigerfan]

I did it too. Got dumped, felt rejected, got on a dating site within a week to feel better about myself. Got some emails, and realized I wasn't anywhere near ready for that, and got off the site. Problem was, my ex at the time caught me on the site, and seemed really hurt by it, maybe feeling I didn't love her as much as she thought I did. The reality was it was a knee jerk reaction to being dumped, for me at least.

[Thorshammer]

She looks like an insecure person, and those are tough cookies to handle. My ex was like that, then at some point i did a 180 and pushed for more kisses, hugs, i sweet talked her, because she deserved it, vacation with her in her home-town made me fall deep. And BOOOOM, "I am not attracted to you anymore, I dont know if I love you like a bf anymore"- interpret as you will.

 

Their insecurities can come from past messed up relationships, or something wrong with their upbringing. A strong confident woman will talk it out with you, not automatically play the "insecure, you do this to me" card. At one point I loved that my ex was insecure, I was too to some extent, and I always had a lot of love to give and i was eager for the task, but it takes it toll faaaast! I didnt want to give love, it wore me out, she was like a drill sergant with her, "OH MY GOD, YOU DONT KISS ME!"

 

Let her go off to run in the woods. Women like that will most likely fall for another guy that will pull attention away from her, and she will chase. Its seeking peoples approval they want, not actually having it in their face. Thats why most of these types end up with idiots. These are usually the cheating type, or the depressed house wife who wants a divorce because she thinks she can do better because the next door neighbor winked at her. In my case, she had ex's that were far better nicer and sweeter, and she pushed them away to other women, and she still thinks shes not the problem. So, if she is anything like my ex and so many others, good guys who do what she wants might not cut it.

[lemsip]

Some people just always want to be in a relationship. I think it's that simple, even if it's not necessarily the right thing to do.

 

After 8 years with me, my ex started up with someone new within a week.

 

I'm staying single. Flings, kisses etc maybe but no relationships for a long while.

[symbiot]

You have so much more to offer if you take time to work on yourself in between relationships. You have more to give to yourself, your partner and the relationship as well. No one is perfect and we all need introspection sometimes.

[Charingx1]

I agree thats why i guess i just feel like i wanted something good to come of it if she had to end it, wanted her to at least have loved herself more and not feel this inccesantr need to jump straight into another relationship. I guess its scary now as we work together and the last thing i want/need is her starting up with someone else in our office but it wouldnt surprise me given her seeming desperation to meet a new man.

[symbiot]

I think when you jumo from one relationship to another you are searching for something outside but the truth is always found inside.