Springs Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm worried im slipping into major depression...i literally dont stop crying, and when im not crying, im trying to prevent the tears. I can see no good in anything, get no pleasure from anything...no hope..no joy...no peace. its almost been a month is it normal to be like this?? Link to comment
camus154 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 It's normal to be broken hearted and depressed after a break up, yes. But at the end of the day, unless you have other emotional/psychological issues we aren't aware of, what it ultimately boils down to is a choice. You can't choose to no longer feel the pain of a break up, but you CAN choose how you process and react to those feelings. Link to comment
Springs Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 You can't choose to no longer feel the pain of a break up, but you CAN choose how you process and react to those feelings. I am trying...I feel I'm using all the strength I have..I've lost everything and I have such a small support network here. I regret that I moved here to be with him when I had a life elsewhere..look how it's turned out. lesson learned Link to comment
camus154 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Have you really lost everything? Really? You have no friends, no family, no job? Why not move again? Link to comment
Springs Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 I have a good job but it's difficult in work at the minute, because of this struggle but also because it's not very busy at the moment (Im a physiotherapist in a hospital) and it makes the time go slow and gives me too much time to dwell on things. I have good friends and family back home where I come from but thats hundreds of miles away. I had so many plans with him, which are all gone now..i know I just need to be strong. The hardest part is acceptance. Im beating myself up for emailing him to beg even more...i should not have done that..he wont reply and it gives him even more fuel to get on without me, knowing that I need him and will do anything for him. deep down i dont want that..i want strength to stand up for what i deserve God its hard to be single again after being a couple for so long...x Link to comment
Aims7 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Hi there. I wanted to let you know that I was where you are 9 weeks ago. Feeling there was no point, no one will make me happy and felt like I was living in a film or something because I felt so detached! It's the worst feeling because you truly believe it won't end no matter how often people say it does. Well 9 weeks of no contact (after lots of begging and degrading myself) and I feel better. I'm not going to lie and say it's all roses but I'm also not the girl led in bed crying thinking there's nothing else. The emotions are like a rollercoaster, one minute you're sad, missing them, hating them, feeling nothing but as the weeks pass it's not as harsh. So if I feel better than I did imagine how I may feel in another 9 weeks! I never imagined I'd be able to cope again and look at other guys and appreciate them, but slowly you do - the first time I found myself thinking 'that guy looks nice' I was shocked but happy there was progress. I found lots of movies and books to distract helps and so does coming on ENA. I miss my guy a lot but he has hurt me and for the first time in 9 weeks I actually thought today that I'd not want him in my life after what he did - I'll probably revert back to missing him but at least it's progress. This stage won't last forever - just ride it out and you'll get through. Link to comment
SorrowandPain Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Springs, The void is an absolutely terrible feeling but it will subside. You have a great job, I presume you're smart because physiotherapy is difficult to get into at school and I'll presume that you're attractive so should you choose to find someone else in the future, I'm sure you'll have no problem doing so! Link to comment
Springs Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 Today in work was better. I got on with it and didn't think about him every single second, which was good. Then I went out this evening with a new 'friend of a friend' who's just moved here too, for some dinner. She is a really nice girl and it was nice to have company, but I miss him so so so so much she was talking about going out on the town cos both of us are 'single' and it made my skin crawl and feels so horrible to think I am actually single again when I still feel so bonded and tied to him... would anyone else feel like they're cheating on their ex just after a break up if you kissed someone else?? Link to comment
Lester Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 It's not about cheating. You're not married and he did leave you...but you could make a lot of mistakes during this period. Go slowly. Diner with friends is great. Nightlife will not heal or help. Explore, talk, laugh, enjoy, and then date. Don’t rush into anything permanent. Enjoy life! Link to comment
ninachamile Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Someone once told me after my boyfriend took a powder and now I tell others "WOW! you lost 180 lbs in 5 minutes, you look fabulous dahlink! Just think of all the wonderfull things you can now do without all that "weight" its a brand new YOU its a brand new LIFE" GO AND LIVE IT! Link to comment
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