Life is not worth living anymore...

[Springs]

This is truly how I feel. I have lost all hope. All my zest for life is gone. I've lost my everything, lost my future, my plans. I'm all alone and aching so so so so much. I can't get rid of the constant crushing pain in my chest. Sorry to sound so dramatic..i used to be happy and now I am not even a shadow of who I used to be. And he is ok. I wish I could erase every memory we ever made. I wish I'd never met him. This is absolute hell. Someone help please

[thejigsup]

You have NOT lost your future. The man that will BE your future is out there waiting for you. Your path to your future has just been made clearer. You don't have him anymore, so now there is room for someone even better than him...You! Love this time to concentrate on only you and just wait, the best is yet to come!!!

[Springs]

I wish I could believe that but I don't. I never thought it possible to feel such pain, and there is no relief from it. I don't know where to turn next. My life feels like it's stretching oout in front of me..an endless road of pain and misery. Each day is such an awful struggle, I think what's the point in going through this. I never thought I'd be like this.

[thejigsup]

Pain never lasts, believe me. My bf died in April and the pain faded. It was the most pain I had ever felt in my life. But nothing in life is forever, even pain. I am now healing and looking forward to things again. So will you. I wish you nothing but happiness in your life.

[Springs]

I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for your kind words

[jjcool00]

I've been in your shoes before and then some time went by, several weeks/months and I was fine. Then I met someone else, the person I thought for sure was the one ( I still do ) and I lost her too in July of this year... I felt your pain, and I still feel a bit of it everyday, I think about her EVERYDAY still!!! But then I think to myself... hey ive been here before and some time went by and I met who i thought was the best person ever... it will happen again and ill look back like "what the hell was wrong with me, why did i stress so much about that person... its good they're gone because it allowed me to meet this person" and then what will happen? Ill most likely lose that person , correction she will lose me and ill feel like you do again... its a cycle you will go through until you meet the person you're actually going to marry and spend forever with... its an experience that YOU have control over whether or not to learn from or to reflect on... you cannot sit there reflecting.. you have to sit there and build on this experience, know what to do next time... its a learning experience. Start thinking positively, know that someone else WILL come along and WILL be better suited for you... for now the best thing you can do is believe that, challenge yourself to improve and stick to it... if you have to make a list of things you want to improve and everytime you think about this person pull out that list and begin working on one of them ... "1. Go to the gym, 2. Spend time with friends Ive accidently neglected, 3. Read more, 4. Plan a vacation, 5. Meditate, 6. Fix up my house, 7. Skydiving, 8. Go to the beach, 9. Formulate a diet and nutrition plan and stick to it!, 10. Contribute clothes/help to those whom are in need via charity, 11. 5K run for cancer, 12. Work harder at work - possible promotion fringing, 13. Create a journal of daily events/thoughts" This is my EXACT list... and I stick to it daily... and it helps a lot... you'd be surprised how many things you want to self-improve when you sit down and think about it...

 

Remember: life is worth living because it brought you the opportunity of meeting this person that you long to be back with and you will again be presented with an opportunity to be with someone BETTER... it's crazy how things work out, if i had stayed with my ex 5 years ago i wouldve never met the 3-4 women ive dated since then who have POSITIVELY affected my life regardless of who dumped who... I am who I am because of my experiences and I await the time when I'm ready to try again, to be the best person I can be with a person who deserves my time... Right now focus on you, be selfish, you need this... when an opportunity presents itself and you're ready again, SEIZE IT!!!!!!

[Springs]

Thanks for your advice. It's just so so hard. I moved here to be with him and have pretty much nothing here in terms of friends. My everything revolved around him and now he's gone. I dread work ever day, seeing happy people living happy lives. I am so sick of trying to prevent the tears from coming. I dread the weekend because it is just filled with empty nothingness and reminds me how happy I used to be, and feel I never will be again. God I wish I could just sleep and never wake up thats how i feel

[gettinmeback56]

It will pass, time heals all. I know it doesn't seem like it now, and you're probably getting tired of the cliches at this point, but THINGS WILL GET BETTER.

 

6 months ago, I was right where you are. My wife said she fell out of love with me, she decided my stepdaughter and I shouldn't have a relationship, she gave back the engagement ring, it was as if the last 2 1/2 years and all of our memories meant nothing. I was left heartbroken, confused, and HOMELESS.

 

I lived out of a hotel for a month until I could save enough money to get a new place. I got my new place, all new furniture, and have begun a new and better life. But it took a lot of pain, counseling, crying, etc to get to this point. The divorce papers will be filed any day now, and while it still hurts, I know it'll be OK. I can and will have a happy life, with or without my wife. But it takes time, sometimes it's the only thing that works.

 

Ask yourself:

1 year from now, what do I wanna be doing, what can I accomplish, where do I wanna be. Make a plan, be reasonable, set small achievable goals, and you'll be amazed how fast you start to recover. There will be setbacks, but keep moving forward.

 

TOUGH TIMES DON'T LAST, TOUGH PEOPLE DO

[Springs]

Thank you so much. Your words help me so much, because I know a lot of people here have hurt the way I am now. I appreciate this. I just want to be back living a life that wasn't a struggle everyday. I guess we all do. God life is so hard.

[jjcool00]

I am so sick of trying to prevent the tears from coming.

 

It's ok to cry! Let it out if you have to, don't hold it in.. I probably cried for like 5 days straight and I'm a man, cried at work, cried in my car on my way home, cried myself to sleep... I've only cried like 6 times in my adulthood and I'd say 3 were because of heartbreak and 3 were at funerals. Crying is good for you... How old are you??? If you enjoy going out, go out, go to some bars... meet people I'm sure where you live there are things to do on the weekends, take a road trip listen to some music. You have to understand you don't NEED anyone to be happy...

[Springs]

I just don't have anyone else here apart from him. I've been so stupid for thinking one person could be all I need. Look what's happened now. I can't face going out to bars or doing anything fun because I just think about him all the time and wish I was with him. I feel like such a weak person. I wish I had the strength to get through this but I really don't think I have..

[jjcool00]

 

 

I want you to re-read your post here and remember why you ended things.... focus on the negatives about your relationship and that will help you move on.

[Springs]

 

I want you to re-read your post here and remember why you ended things.... focus on the negatives about your relationship and that will help you move on.

 

I know. I do try to do this. But I don't care about all that stuff now. I just want him as he is, because he is wonderful. I know it's easy to say that now because I miss him. But I tok for granted just how happy I was until this has happened and I've lost it all.

[SpleenPoetry]

This is truly how I feel. I have lost all hope. All my zest for life is gone. I've lost my everything, lost my future, my plans. I'm all alone and aching so so so so much. I can't get rid of the constant crushing pain in my chest. Sorry to sound so dramatic..i used to be happy and now I am not even a shadow of who I used to be. And he is ok. I wish I could erase every memory we ever made. I wish I'd never met him. This is absolute hell. Someone help please

 

I know exactly how you feel. I also wish I could just erase every memory...you are not alone in feeling like this. It's been two months since the break up now for me and I can assure you, it will get better! I'm still not over it, I am still missing my ex very much, but it really will get better! The agonizing pain will get less! I'm still having a hard time however enjoying things (but I'm slowly starting to enjoy some things again, at first I couldn't at all!). I'm still having a hard time looking forward to anything. But at least the agonizing pain has become far less. I'm sure in time we'll both get to enjoy our lives again.

[Pixby]

Hi Springs. I am so sorry you are going through this. I am feeling the same way about my gf of five years that just packed-up and left 3 days ago. The anxiety, the bitter sadness... it's horrible--especially if you're still stuck living in the place you both shared (as I am). I have been through this agony once before--back during my senior year of college (I am 31 now). Can you believe that? How many times must we all go through this in life until we find someone who lasts? Anyway, I feel for you. Keep your chin-up and get rid of anything, any object that reminds you of him. That's a good start.

 

Pixby

[confusedg]

Dear OP,

 

Til the first week of August, I was burning. In hellish pain. Nobody is to blame. Things just happened. But suddenly one day - it was ok.

 

Till then - the pain was nauseating, lacerating, burning, physically convulsing, debilitating. Actual, reall physical bouts of nausea. Actual, real dropping off to sleep on a roadside bench or a train out of depressed fatigue.

 

And then one day it is ok. And NO - it does not have to be a "bitter" ok, or "i hate them" ok. It becomes ok in a calm, peaceful way. It does not require a rebound. You just find yourself.

 

But till then, there is that nauseating convulsing pain.

 

Are you hearing me and the words I am using? So, imagine - how many of us have gone through what you have gone through.

 

And then there is calm. Not bitterness, but ...an okayish calm.

[GaHeartbroken]

Yes, it is nearly unbearable, as I am going through what you are going through right now. It does hurt, it is confusing. Please remember that there are people right here that care about you, and there's more than just right here, I'm sure of it! You can continue to live, and you will be alright, and you can become a better person because of what is happening right now! Please try to get the frustration you have right now out in whatever way is beneficial for you- vent, cry, write down your feelings, pray, hit a pillow, exercise until you can't any longer.

 

If you feel despair about life and need somebody to talk to, please contact: link removed

 

Please keep us posted, we do care about you!

[Lester]

Hi Springs, The pain is great but slowly will pass. In my darkest hours I finally gave up.

Gave it all up...including my wife. I stopped asking God why or for help. Instead I began to pray each day thanking him for all he had given me.

 

Within days something happened. It got better.

Slowly I began to smile again. (You should have seen my wife’s reaction to that!)

 

Away…it helped me I hope it can help you.

[Springs]

Thank you all so much for your kindness. Today has been so awful. Work is unbearable..soul destroying. The tears well up in my eyes every single second and I can't concentrate on anything. i missed my stop on the train because I was in such a trance. My manager is asking me what's going on because I can hardly speak or look at anyone. So unlike me.

 

I sent him an email explaining how Im feeling...asking for another chance...i know i should not have done this...ahhhhhhhhh im an idiot. He is totally ok and I feel suicidal. I know telling him how low low low i am isn't going to do anything other than push him further away. o god, o god.

 

Thanks enotalone..such a good help x

[jjcool00]

First 3-4 days at work after my break up I had to leave my office multiple times to go outside to cry... EVERYONE goes through it, but try not to let it affect your work performance the last thing you need is to lose your job as well. No more contact... no if ands or buts... THE ONLY time you're allowed to contact this guy is >>>IF

[Springs]

First 3-4 days at work after my break up I had to leave my office multiple times to go outside to cry... EVERYONE goes through it, but try not to let it affect your work performance the last thing you need is to lose your job as well. No more contact... no if ands or buts... THE ONLY time you're allowed to contact this guy is >>>IF

 

I know you're right...I know I know it's just so hard. I wonder why am I so weak when he can do it, and all you guys have done it..I just don't have the strength to let go and accept that it's over. I know he wont reply to my email even though when we were together only weeks ago, if he read those words from me he would be straight by my side to comfort me and tell me he is here for me and not to feel like that. But he wont now because hes not mine anymore ohhhh goooooood. x

[jjcool00]

You're allowing yourself to be weak... focusing on only the good, start thinking about the bad, the reasons you said goodbye to him. He may seem like he is unaffected but you don't know that, he may be keeping NC to heal as well. I have been both the dumper and dumpee and I can tell you that either way it hurts. Everything happens for a reason, you will grow from this, become stronger... maybe someday down the line your paths will cross again as they've already crossed once... but for now the best thing to do is stand on your own two feet, show the world what you're made of and grab a hold of your life... In a few weeks you will be writing here about how foolish you were to miss someone who treated you so horribly

[Springs]

Argggh...he didnt reply. I knew he wouldnt but i keep having this hope and I just cannot let go

 

Its too painful to imagine never holding him or kissing him or seeing him ever again and to feel he is being so harsh and cruel to me after all the love we had for each other. Why is there so much pain in this life

[RubyWoo]

Oh Springs *HUGS* It is horrible horrible pain, I know about keeping your hopes up stupidly because I am doing the same at the moment and I just can't seem to let go. I want to be in his arms and just the faintest mental image of him with another woman makes me nauseous. I wish there was something we could do to easy the pain... I guess all we can hope for is time goes fast...

[camus154]

Um...you *are* being melodramatic. Look, I know break ups suck and they can bring the worst pain imaginable--I've been through that just like everyone else--but continuing to say things like "life isn't worth living" and "why is there such pain in this life" doesn't really help do anything but entrench yourself further in self-pity.

 

Set a time limit for yourself where you're allowed to have as much self-pity as you need. Do whatever you need to do to get it out of your system. But when that time limit is up, that's it. It's time to buck up and start moving on.

 

It doesn't mean you won't still be hurting or it won't be hard. It means you're allowing yourself the dignity to move forward *even with the pain*.