ellene728 Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Hi, I am new to this forum and desperate for advice. I am 20 and my ex boyfriend is 22, we had been dating for three years and living together for a year and a half. He has mood instability and I'm pretty sure he is bipolar. Most of the time he is the most loving amazing person in the world and the rest of the time I don't even know how to deal with him...we have gotten through so many issues in our past together, mainly him cheating on me in the beginning of our relationship, and me developing a drug problem. we helped each other through our problems and fixed our relationship. Because we got through it all, i figured we could get through anything. i've been in love before but nothing like this, i thought he was my soul mate and that we would get married. I am aware he has issues from his childhood that have caused him to have some emotional problems but i was always willing to help him work through it. anyways, this is what happened. last week, when he was going through his facebook messages in front of me, i saw that his ex girlfriend had messaged him but i didn't bring it up for fear of causing drama in case it was nothing to worry about. this ex gf has caused problems for us in the past and i really don't like her. anyways, he left his facebook open on my computer and i know i shouldn't have, but i read the message from her and my heart dropped when I read that he was telling her that our relationship was monotonous and that i wasn't stimulating enough. I also found him messaging another girl who I dislike telling her he "misses her." When he came home from work that night i confronted him and ended it, telling him i couldn't trust him. He got defensive and mad, telling me I had breeched his trust for reading his messages and that HE was breaking up with ME. I was so angry and hurt. the next day, our group of friends had plans to go to a concert together and I really didn't want to go and be with him but his sister (who is also my best friend) convinced me to go. at the concert, he had a couple beers and told me he was sorry for everything and that he understood why i went through his messages and why i was upset and that he loves me and doesn't want to lose me because i'm such an amazing girlfriend. He told me he thought we could get through this and rebuild our trust for one another and he asked me to be his girlfriend again. I agreed, and was thrilled he wanted to work on things. we had fun the rest of the day at the concert and snuggled all night. the next morning, he asked me to go on a drive with him to talk, and he broke up with me. he said he changed his mind and that this time it was really over. that was two days ago and i am absolutely devastated...i feel like I'm the only one who is responding to a breakup this way. I literally cannot eat, sleep, or function. I've been hysterically crying at my mom's house and throwing up, literally getting sick from anxiety and depression. I am utterly heartbroken. He was my other half, warmed my feet at night and took care of me when I'm sick. He cuddled me when I was sad and bought me flowers for no reason. I am in excruciating pain and feel like it will never end, the only thing that comforts me is thoughts of him calling me saying he wants me back, which i know is not going to happen. I feel like crawling into a hole and dying, someone please help me out i feel like there is a huge hole in my heart that will never be filled and every time i close my eyes i see his face and hear his voice. I miss him so much, I don't even know how to sleep alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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