Financially trapped in a relationship, falling in love with someone I can't have

[bwphotog]

I have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend for about two and half years. For the past year I have been progressively falling out of love with him bit by bit and it has been a real struggle to cope with. He is still an amazing person and treats me great but I have finally come to terms with the fact that I truly want to leave. However I live with him while also attending a rather expensive college in a rather expensive city. The only reason I've been able to afford going to this college is because living with him is so cheap (I only have to pay half of the utilities). It is too late for me to transfer schools and so because of this, I am trapped in my relationship until I can find a way to be a full time student AND support myself financially. My job hunt has been semi-successful and I believe I just landed a job that pays really well, but it doesn't offer enough hours (but its a great resume builder) and I have a part time job as well. So I'm on my way to solving that problem.

But something is throwing a wrench into my progress. I recently spent the summer in my home town and met a guy that I ended up spending literally EVERY. SINGLE. DAY with. I sort of fell in love with him. Quite hard actually. And I thought for a while he had fallen for me too. He would always stand up for me, talk to me for hours, text me all the time and always find a way to be close to me. He once put his arm around me and sort of caressed my shoulder. I was SURE he liked me too. But now the summer is over and he went to his college which is far from mine and he seems to be very interested in a girl he previously had a thing with. He still texts me all the time and says I'm his best friend but I obviously feel more for him. Because we are so close I told him all about my issues with my current boyfriend. He seems confident that he wants to transfer schools and attend my university next year. This is great and all but right now i'm sort of dying of jealousy over the girl he is interested in. I feel very trapped, alone, depressed and scared. I want more than anything in the world just to tell him how I feel so I can find out if he feels the same or not. But I don't want to make his life harder, ruin our friendship, or risk him turning his back on me. But its becoming harder and harder to talk to him without getting upset by my overwhelming desire to confess my love.

So that is my story. Any help, advice, insight, clarification or similar stories are extremely welcomed. Thank you.

[Staple]

Yeah so you should break up with your boyfriend and figure out a way you guys can be roommates until you find someplace new. Stop stringing him along, looking for someone else in the process too, just because you need him financially. You really remind me of my ex.

[bwphotog]

I've told him about how I feel, I just haven't broken up with him. I already explained that I've found a job that will help me move out. I'm not passively sitting around waiting for someone to save me. I'll take care of myself once I find a footing in this city. I'm not trying to hurt anyone.

[luminousone]

You need to move out right away, and if it means you need to stop school for a bit then do so. It is not fair for you to depend on your "bf" for financial reasons only.

 

It is time for you to do the decent thing and let go. Completely.

 

It is just cruel for you to stay under those circumstances.

[Clio]

I've told him about how I feel, I just haven't broken up with him. I already explained that I've found a job that will help me move out. I'm not passively sitting around waiting for someone to save me. I'll take care of myself once I find a footing in this city. I'm not trying to hurt anyone.

 

You are not 'trying' to hurt anyone but in most probability you ARE hurting your boyfriend. Unless he is totally indifferent towards you... Does he know about the other guy? Most people would only accept the situation you describe only if they where hoping for things to improve in which case you are taking advantage of him.

 

As for the other guy, does he know that you have a boyfriend? If so, many people would not take you seriously in such a scenario.

 

My advice would be to break up with your boyfriend. Let the chips fall where they may. Find another roommate and house. Spend some time on your own to find your balance. And THEN explore what could be with the other guy.

[DN]

You are taking financial advantage of your boyfriend for selfish reasons and you really should not be doing that. I very much doubt you would appreciate anyone doing that to you.

[Princess123]

This is why if you decide to move in with someone you have an emergency get out quick account stashed. You never know how it will be like to live with someone, or if it will even last, so its best to stash away some cash for an emergency. Lesson learned though, but I agree with everyone else it's not fair to anyone to be hanging onto your bf for financial reasons. Don't make decisions on where to move or where to live, or to stay in your expensive college over a man.