Threesome?

[pankaks]

This is one more of those "threesome! help!" threads. Sorry about that guys.

 

Basically this is the deal. A threesome has always been on my bucket list. And the lovely guy I've been seeing for the last few months is honest, fun and open minded, unlike the ex boyfriend of two and a half years that came before him (nice guy, but girl-on-top sex was adventurous for him...), so for the first time I actually feel comfortable bringing it up and having that little "Hey, so I've been thinking..." conversation.

 

Unsurprisingly, he was pretty chuffed with the idea of hanging out with two naked girls, not just one. Two sets of * * * * better than one, obviously. I've never even kissed a girl, let alone anything else but am really keen to see what it's like. And if I'm completely honest, the way his eyes lit up when I mentioned that I'd like to try was an amazing turn on.

 

I ran the idea past a friend of mine and she was keen (and has been the third person in a threesome before, which I didnt know until I mentioned it to her that I'd like to try one "one day"). My only condition was that I got to choose the person and she's perfect. Close enough to be completely trusted, but distant enough that it wont be awkward later. So that's sorted. Now here's my dilemma. Everyone is so quick to tell you how to go about finding that third person, but nobody really seems to have any helpful suggestions what to do when you get there.

 

I'm not really the jealous type, so quite like the idea of watching him go down on her, having sex, etc, but I'm a bit nervous about what I'm supposed to be doing. We're all very upfront about boundaries etc as well. It's all well and good in theory and I'm sure I'll be fine once we all get into it and start having a good time, but I'm just not really all that sure about how I should go about getting to that point.

 

What happens? Do you all just have a few glasses of wine and kiss a bit and go from there?

 

Any helpful suggestions, oh anonymous internet wise ones?

[1m50L0nl3y]

It depends on what sort of threesome you are looking for FMF or FFM.

[Eocsor]

Just be careful as a lot of fantasies are better left as fantasies and once the genies out of the bottle theres no putting it back in. As much as people say they aren't jealous and it won't affect their relationship it does fundamentally change it for good.

 

Having said that, socialise a bit first, alcohol always helps but not too much, and then get naked and have some fun. Do what ever feels good. You'll sort it out. The first time will probably be a bit awkward but it will get better.

[Penseur]

I've gone through a threesome (MFF). But it was never planned out. It happened one day when I was hanging out with my girlfriend and her friend. The next day was mildly awkward, but we got past it quickly.

 

Because this is your idea and because you know the two other people involved the best, you are going to have to take the lead. Alcohol helps to break inhibitions for everyone. Do your best to make the other girl comfortable in the situation, perhaps by kissing her to start things off. Also, encourage the other girl and your boyfriend to engage in sexual behavior after that point to break the ice further. Then take it from there. It's best to let it flow as naturally as possible.

[Penseur]

Just be careful as a lot of fantasies are better left as fantasies and once the genies out of the bottle theres no putting it back in. As much as people say they aren't jealous and it won't affect their relationship it does fundamentally change it for good.

 

I should have mentioned this but it is the truth. The girl I was dating claimed she was not a jealous type and it was even her idea to get us involved in the threesome. But it certainly changed the dynamic afterward. Not to mention that I became attracted to her friend after the floodgates had been opened to me and I realized she was open and even enthusiastic to have sex with me when previously I never thought she would be.

[Snny]

How committed are you to your boyfriend and are you in a serious relationship? Those are the things you should be worried about.

[pankaks]

I didnt know there was a difference between FMF and FFM other than the order of the letters. Bit naive. Enlighten me?

 

I'm not worried about getting jealous. Though I guess sometimes you never know until you're confronted with a situation that could drag the green eyed monster out. I just think it sounds like a fun way to explore, that's all. The idea of being with a woman does excite me, I just feel like it would be a nicer experience shared.

haha, oh, and not too much booze. Wouldn't want the lovely fellow to be falling asleep before we get to the good bit, right?

 

Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it. Totally prepared for it to be awkward (so many arms and legs to rearrange...) but I feel like these are two people I can laugh with, so it should be fun, even if it is a tad ungainly.

[pankaks]

the term "boyfriend" is a pretty loaded word. Long story short, I've been seeing him for a few months and there's a ridiculous amount of affection and laughter between us. We click really really well, but it's not something I see being long term purely because whatever we have has a used by date. He goes back to Darwin (which is over 4000km away from where we are at the moment) in December. Unfortunately, permanently. I'm stuck going to Melbourne. So we click well enough for it to have the potential to be something really beautiful, but the practicalities of the matter say otherwise.

 

So committed. I'd trust him with my life. But not "OMG YOU'RE THE ONE".

[1m50L0nl3y]

FFM is where a female gets all the attention from the male and other female, this is what most bisexual women prefer. The guy and the other girl don't interact much with each other.

FMF is where the male gets all the attention from both girls, and is usually practiced by heterosexual women that want to help their man fulfill a fantasy.

 

If the only thing you are intending to do with that girl is to kiss her probably you would be going for a FMF.

[Moontiger]

Let me start by saying I have never been involved in a threesome nor do I have any interest.

 

With that said I think there are few things you can do to prepare for what you will experience in you and your partner choice to go through with this.

 

1. Personally I feel you should explore your attraction to woman more before you jump into full out sex. While in your mind the idea of kiss and beyond with a woman is exciting it would be rather awkward to find in the middle of a threesome that in reality it doesn't do anything for you.

 

2. Set clear rules about what is and is not allowed so everyone is on the same page.

 

3. Keep communication open with your partner. You should be able to talk to him about any worries you have both before and after the threesome.

 

4. Keep seeking out advice, even if its not what you want to hear. There are some couples who have had threesomes with no problem and others who's whole relationship was ripped about by it. Hearing both experience will be good for you IMO.

 

Good luck!

[LizzieD]

DO NOT PICK SOMEONE YOU KNOW.

 

IN CAPS. Because I'm telling you.

 

Pick a complete stranger, whom you'll never meet again. Go vegas, do craiglist, do there and go home.

 

Have you heard the story where a girl fell in love with her bff's boyfriend? Yeah, too common. Avoid. Drama, drama, drama.

 

p/s: Certain strip clubs strippers let girls go 2nd (a bit 2.5) base with them. I am serious! Guys don't know this, because they get kicked out. My (now) ex paid personal lap dance for me, and I asked for permission to do actual "roaming" and kissing. She said yes because "you're cute" and I was curious You get to learn a lot how to please same-sex person. Well worth it. Start there. Be good! Be excellent.

 

If you like that, you may proceed to do 3somes. Example: My ex noticed I grinned and super happy afterwards.

 

p/p/s: The alleged incident occurred in San Diego. LOL. Just sayin'.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Will you be okay if the sex with this other woman is so amazing that your guy suddenly realizes she is the answer to his sexual fantasies and is no longer interested in you? In other words, he dumps you for her. That could be a potential outcome to bringing another woman into the bedroom.

[Bolegged04]

My boyfriend and I had a conversation about a threesome and when the time came around, I just couldnt do it. I just couldnt see him with another woman. He understand and we left. I also felt that it was goign to be a problem later on down the line.