I don't feel he really dedicates his time to me...

[Saures]

I recently just came into a long distance relationship with my long term boyfriend after having to move with my parents 200 miles away

 

We are both keen game players, we both play call of duty, and this morning we decided tonight we'd "be together" and play cod all night...

So thats all fine

He then says, I'm going out tonight.

Now to me, when he plans something with me, whether its local or long distance, he's dedicated his time to me, and I am owed that time just like I would be dedicating my time to him and owe him that time.

I then reminded him of his our, he then says oh yeah, okay.

 

So, I'm waiting for it to be "tonight", and then he just says, "Oh i want so and so to be done what he's doing so I can go out", after telling me he isn't going out.

 

I'm then a bit like, what...? And start saying how he's dedicated his time to me and its unfair to suddenly cancel, a friend also said its unfair on me whether its long distance or not, he made plans to spend the night with me.

He then tells me "i'll be able to play cod with you tonight, I just don't know what time I'll be in" Why should I have to 1) be cancelled on, then 2) have to wait up all night to do what we were originally going to do in the first place...

 

He eventually decides to just not go out after arguing, and this upsets me because he decided to stay in just to shut me up and "keep me happy" rather than realise he was upsetting me because he was backing out of our plans and making me feel like I wasn't worth his time...

 

 

I just feel he thinks that any activity we do together whilst we're apart isn't as important as anything he can do that involves going out and interacting with people in the real world...

 

What are your opinions on this?

[LaKings55]

Do you know how many times my ex backed out of long-made plans at the last minute? Seriously, I'd take it as the old "he's just not that into you" type situation

[annie24]

i think long distance relationships are very hard, especially if people are not putting in the effort to keep the relationship going. you might consider if/when it is time to call it quits.

[OptomisticGirl]

How else was he suppose to act? If he went out you would have been mad at him, he cancels his plans and your mad at him. He wasn't going to win no matter WHAT he did. LDRs are not easy, in the least bit. Sometimes you need to learn when to fight and when to bury the hatchet. My fiancé has forgotten we were doing something and made plans (we are LDr) and sometimes you just roll with it. Is this the only time he has done this?

[DN]

You are right to think he should keep his commitment to you but wrong to get mad when he cancels to be with you after all.

 

Know when to quit when you are ahead.