Doc Blaze Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 How can i help my gf relax? the first time we had sex together, we kinda just went at it..i guess i was a little bigger than her other boyfriends and i hurt her the first time we had sex. since then she always thinks about the pain before i put the condom on...and starts to get worried...PS we do use lube... say were at home, start kissing, which leads to foreplay..things get hot and heavy and she is really into..then one of us makes the move to have sex...grab the condom..she get nervous.she says it hurts when i first put it in then, it gets better but it always hurts the first time i put it in...im a giver and want to please her and have her enjoy it like me so its kind of making me feel bad which makes her feel bad. she also told me that she was able to orgasm with her ex bf but continues to say its def getting better with us and i can tell by the way she is getting into it with me...sometimes she says it starts to feel like nothing after while, ok but not as good as before...and lastly in my sex life she comment on how many ex gfs ive had and how her body doesnt match to theirs so she has become kind of self conscience of her body which ive told her multiple times that i love her body the way it is, there is serious nothing wrong with her body ... i dunno what to do...sex has been getting better but its still lacking a bit...are we trying too hard? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 I don't mean to doubt that you are a giver or that you guys do foreplay but when you mean foreplay - how much foreplay? Do you go down on her first? I think that will help greatly to get her ready. Get her aroused to the point where she's the one wanting it more than you. Then wait past that point to insure she's really truly ready (drive her mad basically lol!) and THEN proceed. If at that point it's still painful for her then that essentially means you guys are still not fully insync with each other yet. But that's okay, time and patience will fix that eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betweenthebars Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 Jake is right. My husband was too big for me for awhile, then he had the great idea of going down on me, and after I had an orgasm my muscles down there completely relaxed which made for "smoother entry". If she's nervous, her muscles will tighten, so orgasm beforehand should work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 @ she goes down on me then i go down on here..that little time between me getting the condom on and sex, she gets a little nervous and kind loses her excitement....the time she told her self basically F it and she didnt think about it was the best sex we had... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natalie b Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Tell her how gorgeous/hot she is. Really get into it. She will get used to you, the more a girl is turned on the less painful sex is because the vagina expands the more aroused she gets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 she says it hurts when i first put it in then, it gets better but it always hurts the first time i put it in See if she is more comfortable if she starts off by getting on top of you. Use shallow positions to start off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timahani Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 HMMMM......I wonder if she has a hx of sexual abuse or trauma, especially sense you stated that she becomes very anxious or nervous and that it hard to enter in the beginning. There is a medical term for this caused vaginismus. I see it frequently with clients of mine who have been sexually abused or who have fears about intercourse being painful. In a case where a women suffers from vaginismus....her unconscious worries about being hurt causes the vaginal opening to contract....which causes involuntary muscle spasms which can be very painful. Explore her fears and maybe past hx. See if you can help her relax......and whatever you do take it slow. Hope this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 she thinks about the first time we had sex and how it hurt her everytime..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted September 10, 2011 Author Share Posted September 10, 2011 I don't mean to doubt that you are a giver or that you guys do foreplay but when you mean foreplay - how much foreplay? Do you go down on her first? I think that will help greatly to get her ready. Get her aroused to the point where she's the one wanting it more than you. Then wait past that point to insure she's really truly ready (drive her mad basically lol!) and THEN proceed. If at that point it's still painful for her then that essentially means you guys are still not fully insync with each other yet. But that's okay, time and patience will fix that eventually. took your advice...she relaxed started messing around..she went down on me..i went down on her ..could feel her getting really excited and instead of stopping i took it even farther to the point where she was like begging for me to put the condom on( no E brag) lol....then slipped it in her with no problem this time...didnt even hurt her..we both actually had an orgasm...best sex so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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