alphadragon Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I am 27 male, she is 31 female. She is 10/10 physically, mentally, socially. She is very loyal and commits slowly but at 100%. She also breaks out of relationships slowly. I was just dumped 3 days ago over a relationship of 3 months. Everything was really good (the physical and the mental were both good, saw each other 1-2x / wk on busy schedules, communicated almost daily, and looked forward to the future) up until when she went on a 10 day vacation/wedding back home (other side of the world). The day after she came back (we had a preplanned dinner), she was pretty cold and dumped me straight up. I knew something was off when she didn't contact me the day she got back, also she received flowers that day at work and i just got a platonic msg back, and among other things when i asked her to wear red to the dinner she didn't. Apparently her ex-bf from right before me went to her home while she was there and asked for a 2nd chance. And she said she still had some feelings for him, and even though she didn't believe it would work, she wanted to give it a shot. I had a very slight inkling she was seeing someone the whole time, because she seemed emotionally unavailable at times and I saw some pictures on her friend's facebook which depicted her with this other guy (her ex-bf of 1 yr) when she went to vegas/LA while we were dating. It was weird because while she was on those trips she was in good communication with me, and when we were together it was oh so hot! But the relationship did not seem 50/50 from an effort perspective (more like 80/20). So when i was dumped I actually was not surprised that I got dumped, but rather that she would dump me for this average F*$@ing chump (this is so confusing because most people say confidence is the biggest thing women want, and of which I am extremely confident, to the point where she would make fun of me for being almost too confident!). It sucks because I fell for her. A number of times I thought she could be the one. I'm an extremely confident, successful, social, smart, and attractive guy that also happens to be really genuine and nice. From a lot of the advice and reading material I got online, through books (like The Game) and through friends - I think some of the advice backfired with this particular girl. For example, she flaked on me once and was late another time, both of which peeved me so I took my time to repsond to her and busted her balls for it. I don't think she really liked that. Or, when she asked me tricky "girl" questions like "did you have a good time with me last night" or "do you miss me", instead of replying very straightforward, I would flirt a little bit (of course in a positive way). After our last date (which was a really good date BTW until she bombshelled me during desert) on the way home, I think I got some closure, it seemed a few things about me bothered her (i.e. My INTJ type being "cold", and I sometimes seemed uninterested in her or I was playing games). At any rate, late that night I sent her a FB message and basically thanked her for being honest, that i will respect her decision and wish her good luck. I also said I realized the mistakes I made and that I will take it as a lesson for next time, and that I believe that we didn't really do anything wrong, but that timing was just bad and I'm not going to fight it. I also left it open ended saying I would be there for her if she needed anything. She didn't reply but she also didn't block me on FB so I take it that as a good sign. I'm emotionally over her already, but I still think about her, and I think this has made me stronger, having spent quite a few hours reading up on this stuff. My gameplan moving forward is to make myself a better person. With respect to her, I am actually going to be seeing her in vegas this wknd since we have mutual several friends bday party, but since I am in a really good mood (ironic!?), I am going to play it casually and be friendly towards her but not ask for anything. If anything, I'll just get more closure and tell her I have learned a lot and if there ever was a second time things would be different. And at the same time, me being me I will be super social and confident and strong and chill with other people....i am pretty sure that will make an extremely good impression and i do think she will come running back to me (no whether i take her back or not will be another thread!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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