Anyone else been throught this?????

[mofo]

Hi all,

 

I'm 35. I just ended a 'realtionship' with a girl that I couldn't trust. I had been with her a couple years ago after her marriage broke up (but she was still living with her husband). I really liked her but always suspected she was lying to me. Turns out she was having an affair with her husband's best friend all the time she was with me. I ended it right away and it really hit me hard that I was so gullible. It took me months to get my head around it all. I figured if she'd do it to her husband with his best friend she'd do it to me. Her lover's wife was also her best friend.

 

Trouble is I hooked up with her again 4 months ago and got involved again. Same thing all over again - I couldn't let go of the fact that she had lied to me and cheated on me - so why should I have believed her this time?

 

I finished it last week but she wants to keep in touch, as she says she wants me in her life in some way. Had all the tears and I love you...but it didn't seem genuine. I know in my heart she was cheating around again and I'm finding it hard to stop trying to figure out what exactly happened.

 

I ended it but I'm struggling letting it go?

 

Any advice please??

[Hollyj]

I'm sorry but, this woman has shown you that she cannot be trusted and has no character. What is it you are struggling to let go of?

 

I would do a serious self-examination and try to understand why you would want someone like this in your life to begin with?

[mofo]

I'm sorry but, this woman has shown you that she cannot be trusted and has no character. What is it you are struggling to let go of?

 

I would do a serious self-examination and try to understand why you would want someone like this in your life to begin with?

 

Hi thanks Holly I appreciate your reply. I think I'm just angry with myself for being so naive and believing her. I know that listening to someone's lies would drive you insane - and last year when i had my suspicions she kept telling me that i was paranoid and it was all in my head. It wasn't.

 

Last few months i only met her twice a week and there was lots of sex but not much else.

 

This time she told me that she had a couple of 3sums (says she was forced) with her husband and exlover back at the time that she was telling me i was paranoid the first time i met her.

 

She sent me a text to keep in touch and that she'd be there if i ever need her?? That she loves me etc etc. I'm looking at what I'm writing now and can't believe what I got involved in.

 

I've let go of a lot of old friends from my past as I'm trying to change my life and I suppose I was lonely and settled for less than I should have....

 

??

[Hollyj]

I've been where you are, so I understand.

 

My ex also had a dubious past, which I choose to ignore. Big mistake!!! This is who these people are, they are not capable of healthy, respectful relationships. It's who they are!

 

Time to love yourself and go NC with this woman. She is bad news.

[Hollyj]

Forgot to mention: he didn't take responsibility for anything and was The King of excuses.

 

Learned a valuable lesson.

[mofo]

Thanks Holly, I've a lot of anger over it now and it's only been a few days. I know I chose to go into the situation and I made a good choice getting out but I'm obsessing a bit about it. It's like my mind is playing a tape and going over things that were said - and I can't believe I fell for it. I got emotionally involved so I'm experiencing anger and a whole range of emotions. In the past she would bombard me with texts keeping in touch but I haven't heard from her in a couple of days now. I know NC is the only way to go but that'll be hard....

[Hollyj]

Yes. But, if you keep in contact you only have yourself to blame. You really need to examine why you are attracted to someone like this, and why you believe you deserve so little. Block and delete all contact info!

 

Once I took responsibility for sticking around and tolerating that nonsense, I was able to move forward and grow my self-esteem. I would NEVER respond to my ex again, as he is not capable of a healthy relationship, I also know that I deserve much better than him.

 

Remember, you are part of the problem for choosing to be with this woman.

 

Healthy attracts healthy!

[mofo]

Yes. But, if you keep in contact you only have yourself to blame. You really need to examine why you are attracted to someone like this, and why you believe you deserve so little. Block and delete all contact info!

 

Once I took responsibility for sticking around and tolerating that nonsense, I was able to move forward and grow my self-esteem. I would NEVER respond to my ex again, as he is not capable of a healthy relationship, I also know that I deserve much better than him.

 

Remember, you are part of the problem for choosing to be with this woman.

 

Healthy attracts healthy!

 

I know...I'm stopping the contact. It's true I chose to be in it and I chose to get out of it but can't figure out why I'm so annoyed and angry? Every minute i spent with her stopped me from meeting someone genuine.

 

Thanks Holly

[bipolarstar]

well she showed you the first time round she couldnt be trusted if she's hurt you then put an end to it before you keep going back and getting hurt over and over again

just end all contact...i had the same thing with my ex of 4 years

[mofo]

well she showed you the first time round she couldnt be trusted if she's hurt you then put an end to it before you keep going back and getting hurt over and over again

just end all contact...i had the same thing with my ex of 4 years

 

 

Thanks. I've stopped all contact and not replying to texts or calls. Tough going but it will be worth it

[mofo]

Well it's just over a week of NC and i deleted the texts from last week without reading them.

 

I feel as if I'm going through withdrawls the past few days....has anyone else experienced this?

 

Thanks in advance...