im trying...

[w3536]

yesterday it really hit me. i started to miss her yesterday after 1 week of not knowing anything about her. I was feeling better but today and yesterday have been really tough on me. wondering who she is with, what she has done, if she is ok, if shes been sad. I try to tell myself not to think about her because she told me she didnt want me to look for her anymore, that she said she didnt miss me anymore. i also remind myself of how she treated me and the pain i always felt when she would treat me that way. how i told her to stay and how she told me that i was her past and she had to look towards the future and live her life and up to now it was working.

i still havent contacted her, although yesterday i did think that it would be really easy to just send her a text message.

i dont want to contact her i just have this feeling of wanting to know about her although i know that i shouldnt feel that way. i know i have to be strong and i am being as strong as i can be. let her find her way and remove myself from the situation that got me hurt and i am trying but im finding it hard not to think about her or miss her still. we were together for 3 years and on the 21st is her bday and then october 15 wouldve been our anniversary so that brings me down a bit more. knowing that i wont be there to share those days with her.

i dont know..... im going to keep the NC and although i do miss her i know its for my best and im going to stay strong. sometimes it helps me think that she HAS moved on and doesnt think about me anymore, or that she has found somone else because i know no one will treat her like i did and in time she will notice that again. It helps me think that because then i tell myself that if life didnt stop for her when im not there then life is not going to stop for me so i better live it.

in some way i look at it as a challenge. A way of proving to myself that she isnt going to bring me down and although i might miss her and want to give up and text her or call her at the end of the day i didnt and still kept my dignity....

just thoughts. it helps me vent...

[jjcool00]

Keep venting here and not to her... no texts, remain strong. The >>>>>BEST

[wolflovesmoon]

My Ex says the same, but i know her enough to know she is just saying it. the tone of her voice does not sound like she really mean it. when we cause someone pain, we don`t usually look at things thru their eyes. they are hurt and feeling pain, don`t expect them to just say,, hey i love you still and i want to be with you. i don`t know what happen between the two of you. the reasons behind the split. give her more time and let her miss you. but don`t wait around, Live your life, do something positive. i am saying this because i just come out of a similar experience. we talk sometimes and we text and she just like to listen to me. i used to think the same, ask if she is out having fun,, meeting someone, etc,, kills me,, thinking of her landing her lips on someone`s else lips,, touching them the same way she did to me,, trust me its a terrible feeling,, but you got to respect their wishes.. see when you guys were together if she asked you for something you will do it to please her,, she is asking you for something so i advice you to do it. i don`t have enough experience to fully answer your question. other people will give their opinion and i hope we will all help you.

[w3536]

you do help and it helps a lot to vent here. she broke up with me about a year ago and then came back 3 months ago and now she decided to end it. i honestly dont think she said it saying things she didnt mean. she had never said that she didnt miss me or that she didnt want to be with me and this time she said it with such calmn tone. she didnt seem mad or anything like that but maybe a little frustrated when she would tell me to please stop texting her when i would send her text after text of begging and just desperation because i wanted to make her see that it was killing me. until i finally gave and told her that i deserved better and i was going to stop texting her. that all i always there helping her through thick and thin, she agreed and that was the last we spoke. she said she didnt want to be with me like if she was saying hello, as if she was used to it. i didnt detect any pain behind it. i dont know if im making any sense.

i dont think she is going to come back and some part of me doesnt want her to but i cant help thinking about her or missing her. its easier said than done. like i said im trying though.

its hard to know that whatever her reasons were she just didnt want to be with me. i didnt treat her bad at all, everything she wanted i gave, i was a gentleman, romantic. i dont understand how if i was willing to overlook everything just so we could be together why she couldnt do the same. i dont know maybe im overthinking.

its just been hard yesterday and today but i will continue doing what i was doing. no contact at all and well living my life. keeping a smile everywhere i go does help.

[jjcool00]

she would tell me to please stop texting her when i would send her text after text of begging and just desperation because i wanted to make her see that it was killing me. until i finally gave and told her that i deserved better and i was going to stop texting her. that all i always there helping her through thick and thin, she agreed and that was the last we spoke.

 

This here is the most unattractive thing a "dumpee" can do. Beg and try to change the "dumpers" opinions and stance, it affirms their decision not to be with you because you're needy and dependent on them. Also, dont tell someone youll always be there it gives them a great surge of power knowing that no matter what they do they always have you in their back pocket to call on if things don't work out with the next person or if they change their mind.

 

i dont understand how if i was willing to overlook everything just so we could be together why she couldnt do the same.

 

You shouldn't be willing to "overlook" anything, that comes off as you were settling to me. You shouldnt be with someone just to be with someone. In time you will find a person who will like you for you and you will like them as they are and not have to overlook anything. The kind of person where you won't worry about what you say, how you act, where they are, what they're doing, analyzing their words and actions, it will be natural because you know you trust them.

 

Now Mr. W3536, you must remain in NC... it will be one of the few ways you can heal, throw out EVERYTHING you have pertaining to this person and convince yourself you're ready to move on. Only then will you be ready to begin the path to meeting the person I've described above.

[w3536]

i know i shouldnt have begged. i shouldve just blew it off like it was nothing and i did at first but it was that thing she told me that she didnt miss me at all now. that 2 weeks after telling me she missed me and needed me now she had realized that she didnt anymore. and she did tell me once that she thought that i was always going to be there and it wasnt until she realized that i wasnt that she felt sad. i am going no contact and i dont intend to break it.

i was just venting because well i started to miss her but i know that i am better off without her. but i think you though wrong when i said i would over look things. i never wanted to change her, i accepted her as she was and always did because i loved her for who she was and who she wanted to be. what i meant to say was "why couldnt she do the same for me?" i know that the answer is because she didnt choose to. because if she loved me and truly did she would be with me no matter what. so you see i do listen to reason its just that my feelings still have a long way to catch up to what i think but little by little i know they will get there... thank you!

[BeenThroughIt]

Thumbs up to you for being healthy about venting your feelings. One thing Ive heard professionals say is that you can train yourself to push away those longing feelings for your ex .. when they come try to think of positive reasons why your not together ... With practice you'll eventually do this without even thinking about it. It's very unhealthy to obsess over a breakup and can cause Alot of other things in your life to go wayyy out of whack ... I know from

Experience!! Stay positive and remember that everything happens for a reason and youll be alright !!!!!

[BeenThroughIt]

Thumbs up to you for being healthy about venting your feelings. One thing Ive heard professionals say is that you can train yourself to push away those longing feelings for your ex .. when they come try to think of positive reasons why your not together ... With practice you'll eventually do this without even thinking about it. It's very unhealthy to obsess over a breakup and can cause Alot of other things in your life to go wayyy out of whack ... I know from

Experience!! Stay positive and remember that everything happens for a reason and youll be alright !!!!!