Any words of wisdom or advice?

[solong123]

I am a 19 year old girl, who has been through alot in the last couple of years but it all has made me stronger.

 

Just recently about a month ago, I broke up with a very emotionally abusive ex. It was the hardest thing I have ever done.

But I knew it absolutely had to be done before it spiraled even more out of control. We were together for about a year and a half.

Some background on him is his dad emotionally and physically abused him as a child and he never properly dealt with it.

Maybe I am just trying to justify his actions or maybe that is why he is the way he is.

If he was down, I had to be down too. I couldn't see my best friend for he did not approve. I had to say all the right things.

 

The break up was horrible. I felt so good about my decision for about a day then I completely broke down and wanted him back.

He wanted absolutely nothing to do with me and said hurtful and spiteful things.

I was deleted, blocked, ignored, and everything possible.

 

About two after not contacting him he tries to be civil with me. So I took it as a good sign. We talked a little then I ended the conversation.

I then texted him about a week later and he flips out saying nasty hurtful things once again.

I did not once say one rude thing to him, if anything I feel sorry for how pathetic he is with the low blows.

 

Two days after that blowout where I told him I'd never talk to him again, he sent me a bunch of random letters in a text, to which

I did not reply. This is what we call breadcrumbs and I don't give into that. Two days later we were supposed to be in the same class together

but he didn't show up so I dialed from a private number just to see if he maybe wasn't awake, and I come to find out my number

was BLOCKED. Making me look like I am the crazy one here. And drops the classes we had together, as well as his whole family blocking me.

 

I did not once try to get into contact with him by any means after this occurred but I just have to say, it hurts.

He doesn't give a damn about me, he is a selfish coward who will never own up to his own behavior.

I just want to be reminded that it really isn't me...it's him...

[thelastsong]

Usually, I tell people that problems in the relationship are 50/50, but seriously.... it's him.

 

You've been through the wringer, and you deserve much better. Please take care of yourself now that he's out of your life. You seem very strong and intelligent, and I know you'll get through this!

[solong123]

thank you for the reply, it means alot

[HeartGoesOn]

I think it's normal to second guess yourself, yet with his history of being mentally abusive towards you, it's likely this relationship would not survive.

 

I agree that you do deserve better...

[thelastsong]

I think it's normal to second guess yourself, yet with his history of being mentally abusive towards you, it's likely this relationship would not survive.

 

I agree that you do deserve better...

 

Yeah, abusers play with your head a lot. They twist things around. He needs a serious amount of therapy before he can even think about being in a healthy relationship with someone.

[Ryguy786]

He's very hurt.

But that doesn't make it okay to act like that.

 

You have to accept that Most of us here are extremely hurt. I'm so * * * * ing hurt right now...

 

But just because I'm not being a crazy person doesn't mean I don't hurt less. Recognize the difference between his problems and general pain from a breakup/realistic growth. It's him.