Still confused by this little situation .....

[TimeToGrowUp]

There's this girl at my gym. For a long time I wanted to meet and her and one day I finally got the chance while I was out for drinks with some buddies at a bar. I walked up to this guy I knew to talk. As we were yackin' it up I look to my right and there she was. Turns out she's friends with him and as I walked away what's the first thing she does? She asks him about me. A few moments later I finally said screw it and I finally approached her. We had a great conversation for like 35mins, lots of eye contact, and her touching her hair.

 

Unfortunately she has a boyfriend. He came over to us and seemed a little put off when he rushed her away "Let's go we're leaving" .... LOL. After that day when I would see her in the gym I would go over and say hi, ask her about her day, and give her a little hi-five. I don't mind that she has a boyfriend, I seriously wanted to know her regardless and who knows what can happen in the future. But here's what has thrown me for a loop. A couple weeks ago we were chatting at the gym when she told me she hasn't seen me in a while ..... that she was looking for me to invite me to our mutual friend's bday. I felt pretty good about that. I told her well next time just hit me up on Facebook. I wasn't going to ask for her number, wouldn't have been kosher with the boyfriend and all. She said sure, just look her up on our buddy's page.

 

I look her up on his friends list, she's not there. Now what's odd is out of curiosity I had looked some 3-4 weeks ago and she was there then. I quickly remembered I saved the link to her profile from back when I had checked and the link worked ...... but what gives? I've talked to her a couple of times since but lately I've kind of been leaving her be because the question is going to come off kind of awkward. Couldn't she just tell me she can't add me because of her man .... but I don't even know if that's the case or if it's just really random timing. Maybe she switched her profile settings as you can select one of three options for people finding you ... 1. Everyone 2. Friends of Friends 3. Friends Only

 

Thoughts?

[nuttybuddy]

FB... causes so much headache. anyway, dude you told her to look u up, but she turned it around and told YOU to look her up. if you agreed to look her up, just add her however way you found her. she's not gonna try to trace your link to see if you found her on the buddy's list.... unless she's a bit psychotic. besides if she does think that you found her despite not seeing her on your buddy's list, she'll be flattered that you made that effort. of course, if u don't want that effort to show cuz she has a bf.... maybe you should just play it cool and the next time u c her, just pretend that u didn't do ur search -- if she asks. and have HER add you. if her bf finds out that u requested to be friends with her, he might try to stop her from seeing u. man... so complicated. i hate FB.

[TimeToGrowUp]

I hear ya on the FB thing. Most of the time I use it to weed out the weird ones. On one hand I always did want to have her as a friend on there because I didn't want the gym to be the only place to ever interact with her. What if one day she joins another gym? That kind of thing. It's not like I can get her phone number at this stage ..... wouldn't even dare think of that unless she was single. But on the other hand it was just so odd, telling me to find her on his page, yet she clearly changed her page restriction so it can't be found thru mutual friends when previously it was fully accessible.

 

I had talked to her a couple of times after that day she told me to add her .... but she never said anything and I didn't even know if it was worth bringing up with the risk of it sounding awkward. The last few times I saw her in there (we basically work out the same time everyday), I've just let her be and not bothered her. It's seriously so weird man. I wanted to meet her so badly for a really long time. It finally happened. She says she wanted to invite me somewhere .... we were chatting a lot and all this progress being made, but then this strangely-timed FB issue pops up.

[nuttybuddy]

if u c her regularly i don't think it's too awkward to hit up a conversation about food and say "hey i love that type of food, and i know a great restaurant. have u been there? wanna check it out?" make it breezy.