Running into the ex...

[freeindeed]

Just a lil background: About 2 years ago, we dated for a couple years, we were absolutely inseparable after only two weeks of dating. So there was definitely a lot of codependency from both sides. Towards the end of the relationship it was on-and-off, and (up until now) it wasn't really clear who had done the final "breaking up". We didn't speak for over two years.

 

About a month ago, i thought I saw him around my neighborhood, my heart stopped for a second, but then I convinced myself I was just seeing things. Then two weeks ago, I saw him at the same place (a common place I go to), and he was crossing my path, so instinctively I just said, "Hey!" and waved. He just smiled. Did not stop to talk. I have to admit that initially, I wanted to have a conversation, but realized that it mightve been a mistake. Also, I had no makeup on, I was coming home from the gym, was gross and sweaty, so Im okay that he wasn't up for chatting at that moment.

 

Then last night, I saw him again. Same scenario (I was coming home from the gym), but this time he didn't say anything. I know I don't own the area, but I'm just curious why he's choosing to hang around here. I know it could be several differentt reasons, but it's not exactly close to where he lives. He would only come to this side of town to pick me up or come over. Also, super curious why he didn't acknowledge me this time.

 

Anyone been through something similar? I'm just curious

[DN]

Perhaps he has a friend in the area.

[ForumGuy]

Maybe it wasn't clear to you who had done the final breaking up, but it was clear to him that it was you who was the dumper. Just a guess, but if this were the case, maybe he is fishing for you to make more of an effort to talk to him, remaining aloof until you do so.

 

DN's suggestion of a friend in the area is more likely though.

[myhonestanswer]

Yeah, he might have a friend in the area, he might have moved there, his new girlfriend might live round the corner from you.

 

I'd just continue to nod and smile, but not talk to him. Just because I don't really see what good will come of it, and he hasn't made an effort to talk to you.

 

I disagree with ForumGuy though, I don't think this is part of a plot to get you to talk to him. There are plenty of easier ways of doing that, and if it was his intention, I think he would have made an effort to speak to you once to remind you what you were missing, and get your attention, before acting aloof.

[Eocsor]

I've run into my ex randomly a number of times since the breakup 19 months ago. It means absolutely nothing. Sometimes we acknowledge each other, sometimes we don't. There are tons of reasons to be in the area. None of them have anything to do with being interested again.

[freeindeed]

Please don't get me wrong, I absolutely DO NOT think he's hanging around the area because of me. The relationship ended a couple years ago, if either of us wanted to contact eachother, it probably would have been done via email. I agree, there could be a whole host of scenarios that is bringing him to the area. I don't want to get specific, but it's actually a certain place that he would only go to because I would force him to go there with me. Which made me wonder if perhaps he has a new girlfriend, and she's forcing him to go there too, which actually would be kinda funny . You're right though, he could have also moved to the area, I guess there's a part of me that's just curious to know how he's doing. But from what I've gathered from guy friends that I've talked to, guys don't wanna chit chat after a break up (whether it's 10 years or 2 weeks after). That it's more of a "chick thing" to want to "catch up" and be friends. Either way, I'm accepting the fact that I'll be seeing him around, so that I won't be caught off guard. I genuinely hope he's doing well. I just posted because I wanted to share with others who were experiencing the same thing and wanted to know how they felt, because I have to admit that first time, I was flooded with all sorts of emotions and it was a very different feeling. I'm good now though.