"The Fade Away?" What is it?

[tygerwolf]

I've heard of people pulling "The Fade" in relationships. They seem to either be casual and or geographically distanced in the instances i've heard of.

 

Is this a strategy people pull to end a "relationship" or is it a natural fading away of contact for more honest reasons?

 

I guess im wondering how and why people do "The Fade." Its a new concept to me but a friend of mine described an instance that happened to her. I read more stories online that were similar. Some end up in contact in the future. The fade away was natural rather than intentional in those instances. Or it was intentionally done to "end things." I've had this happen with friendships but never relationships though.

 

So, what is "The Fade Away"? And how and why is it done?

 

I'll be interested to hear some perspectives on this.

[ForumGuy]

Some people don't want the "guilt" of being the one who ended the relationship even though they want out of the relationship. To cope with this, they "fade away", conciously or subconsciously wanting the other person to end the relationship so they won't be the responsible party. The other person will get tired of the distance and end things, relieving the guilt from the person who "faded away".

[abitbroken]

I never advocate "the fade" if you are in a long term relationship or are exclusively dating. That requires actually talking to the person about ending it. It works if you are starting out and someone won't get the hint that you aren't interested and are pursuing you. You don't really have a relationship yet. Or a friend you just don't have anything in common with anymore. You just start accepting plans with other people and not being so available to that person and not being so readily available. And so it goes..

[tygerwolf]

I wouldn't advocate it either, especially in established relationships. But I guess I could understand it being done with an un-established one though.

 

Does one party slowly release contact or do they begin to ignore the other person entirely? Like ignoring messages and not reaching out at all on their part?

 

The friends I faded away from were actually easier to reconnect with as opposed to friends I left on a bad note. Haha, of course im relating this from my friend experiences. I guess it may or may not be the same thing. Depending on the intent?