Why is it mostly women leaving thier man.

[bigboy77]

I look through the threads and i see:

 

She left me

she left me

she left me

he left me

she left me

she left me

she left me etc...

 

Why are these girls leaving these guys that care so much about them? What's going on here?

[Daligal83]

This is just a small sample size of the population. I'm sure overall it's pretty even. Stereotypically, women confide in their friends and use them to get through emotional times. From what I know, most of the time men don't have that kind of relationship with their male friends. They may not have close female friends to turn to. So they use an internet forum instead. Women may just not need to turn here as much. But I feel like I've seen a ton of women on here as well with the same issue.

[bigboy77]

That's a good point.

[Pinnacle]

There has been research done that women initiate a divorce in a marriage 75-80% of the time. I tried looking up the same in non-marriage relationships and I could not find any...but I wouldn't be too surprised if the trend in divorce matches more or less casual relationships. Why? Well spend enough time here and find out.

[imsuperman]

Loss of attraction. Too much supplicating behavior. Things getting predictable/boring.

 

The woman meets me.

[Mellie]

Nah. It just seems that way. If a thread strikes a chord with you, you're going to relate to it and read on. If it doesn't, you won't. When I arrived here there seemed to be a zillion women in the same boat.

 

Women may be more likely to initiate divorce proceedings statistically, but, to be fair, men are more likely to cheat. Or get complacent. Just because it's someone's "fault" on paper needn't necessarily be representative of the true situation.

 

Cherchez l'homme.

[Lavender25]

I wouldn't say this is so. I've been the one to get dumped in every relationship I've been in. I know that sounds sad, and I used to think that it meant something was wrong with me, but now I think it was for the best. All of those men are still single and it's because I'm apparently attracted to men that just want to fool around. They try to make it work with me for a while because I want a serious, committed relationship, but then it's too much so they run off and f&%^ around.

[Eocsor]

Nah, men and women are equally evil. Both sexes suck at relationships.

[Pinnacle]

 

Women may be more likely to initiate divorce proceedings statistically, but, to be fair, men are more likely to cheat. Or get complacent. Just because it's someone's "fault" on paper needn't necessarily be representative of the true situation.

 

I'm well aware of the different biases, who is asking the questions, who is being asked the questions, if it is an actual Simple Random Sample or if the people are in any way related to a certain church of university or whatever. So take this with a grain of salt, but statistically you are correct.

 

recent studies say the figure is around 20 per cent for men and a bit over 15 per cent for women

 

Want to know what is even scarier?

 

'If you look at the studies into paternity, even conservative figures show that between eight and 15 per cent of children haven't been fathered by the man who thinks he's the biological parent.'

 

I'm not trying to get off topic. Just found this bit interesting. Carry on.

 

link removed

[EgoJoe]

It is my experience that the support networks that women have access to are "larger and more supportive" yet they are not always supportive of the facts. ONE example would be: If your Ex-GF has a bunch of single friends and she lamented at all to them, they'd be harping at her about the BBD and that they'd always be there, "men are stupid there is a better one" etc. etc. etc "Lets go to the bar and get some shmucks to buy us drinks."

 

The other side for men is that our support networks can be immediately negative even while trying to be supportive.

 

It has alot to do with the maturity of the involved parties. Another aspect would be the modern idealization of relationships, true love and partnerships.

 

The other part of this would be denial of the reality of the power struggle stage, youth and egocentrism.

[Mellie]

I'm not trying to get off topic. Just found this bit interesting. Carry on.

 

 

Statistics are only as good as the source I guess. The Daily Mail is far from reliable.

 

I don't know, as a woman, I have been in "men are bad - don't do men - coz men are bad - m'kay" mode since my break up. Normal I guess. I came here with my heart broken, look around here and see stories from girls who've suffered way more than me, and am tempted to head for the nearest nunnery. I'm seriously beginning to wonder whether it is worth the risk and whether we are better off on our own.

 

But then I read stories here from guys - good guys - who've equally been shat on. I guess it's not one sex or the other that's bad. Just bad people... No, not even that. I still don't believe anyone is 100% evil, but people do some messed up stuff. Bad circumstances and situations.

[Forget Myself]

It has alot to do with the maturity of the involved parties. Another aspect would be the modern idealization of relationships, true love and partnerships.

 

The other part of this would be denial of the reality of the power struggle stage, youth and egocentrism.

 

Well put, I agree with that.

 

For me it has been equal parts being the dumpee/ dumper. And also in my experience a women's single friends tend to provoke the girl to break up with their man, they encourage each other to be single so they can go out together and find men together, but once one of them gets into a relationship the friendship usually ends. Girl's friends don't tend to help any relationships in my opinion. On the other hand, guys don't really talk about all the problems with each other, and they tend to be vague and change the subject, not really getting much advice either. At least for the younger generation out there, the acceptable norm seems to be if any problem arises in the relationship, to drop it, not think about it, and move on to someone else. Most of the young generation does infact ignore the reality of the power struggle stage, and all the real psychological concepts and stages of relationships, except for the romantic love, or infatuation stage. Most people feel once that starts to wear out that something is wrong, that the other person is to blame, and they should take a hike.

 

So it seems to be that the outside world tends to put negative pressure on any relationship. "And then how swiftly, how inevitably the perfect unity is invaded; the perfect relationship changes; it becomes complicated, encumbered by its contact with the world."

[Fudgie]

I think both men and women in terms of stats leave each other about the same.

 

Remember, ENA is not representative of everyone. I do agree with the comment that most girls may have their firends to talk to after a BU and many guys may not be able to do that with their guy friends. So they turn online to spill out their thoughts. Very understandable.

[greywolf]

I don't know if this is true or not, but if it were true, I'd say it is because women tend to be more relationship-focused than men are. They think about their relationships more; they're the ones that buy all the relationship books to improve their relationships, and then after trying for a very long time to 'fix' things, they give up.

[offplanet]

I look through the threads and i see:

 

She left me

she left me

she left me

he left me

she left me

she left me

she left me etc...

 

Why are these girls leaving these guys that care so much about them? What's going on here?

That's funny, I was just thinking about writing a post about how it seems like it's mainly the females who invest in relationships, and how mostly here in this forum it's the females lamenting how their bf's dont put enough effort into the relationships and want to avoid commitment.

[EgoJoe]

Sometimes breakups can be a blessing in disguise. I have grown tenfold in six months and I can only imagine where I'll be in another six.

[DerekJason]

It is my experience that the support networks that women have access to are "larger and more supportive" yet they are not always supportive of the facts. ONE example would be: If your Ex-GF has a bunch of single friends and she lamented at all to them, they'd be harping at her about the BBD and that they'd always be there, "men are stupid there is a better one" etc. etc. etc "Lets go to the bar and get some shmucks to buy us drinks."

 

The other side for men is that our support networks can be immediately negative even while trying to be supportive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It has alot to do with the maturity of the involved parties. Another aspect would be the modern idealization of relationships, true love and partnerships.

 

The other part of this would be denial of the reality of the power struggle stage, youth and egocentrism.

 

well put, man. my dude friends have all started with "F**K her, Move on." which is not so supportive haha.

[Brownstone322]

There has been research done that women initiate a divorce in a marriage 75-80% of the time.

Don't go by that. Who legally files for divorce is a poor indicator of who actually broke the relationship or who actually left whom. Broadly speaking, women are still at an economic disadvantage relative to men, so they're more likely to initiate divorce proceedings to protect themselves and their children. Men, conversely, are more likely to want to retain the legal status quo, even if they're screwing a twenty-year-old.

[Edmund Exley]

I think I've been dumped about 5 times more than I've been the dumper. Thats not a statistic, thats a fact. Most of it was in my younger days when I wasnt meeting some sort of expectation the women had set.