why dont i hate her???

[w3536]

I dont know why when i look back and think about my ex i dont get any feelings of anger or resentment. Yes, i am hurt because she broke up with me and yes i do have reasons to be mad at her but i still dont.

i do get sad from time to time(each day is different) because we are not together and yes i still do think about her more than i should. I also know that she is no good for me and that every chance i gave her she treated me like crap but i wont lie we did have our good moments other wise i wouldnt have stuck by her through all of it.

if i saw her on the street and she wanted to talk i wouldnt ignore her or talk to her in an angry manner but yet i would in a mature manner.

Have i forgiven her for what she did? am i moving on? is this good or bad? i always thought that i would be angry and i was at first and now its been 2 weeks since i havent heard from her or talked to her or tried to make any contact with her, and although i do get sad from time to time, i am fine.

i just want to know why i can say all those crappy things that she did and still say "but you know what? i dont hate her or feel any anger towards her."

is that normal????

[vel2011]

How long were you together, how old are you and what were the reasons for the break up?

 

The most beautiful and amazing girl I have ever met in my life broke up with me a month ago after 2 1/2 years (see my thread in this section titles ''My girlfriend broke up with me after 2 1/2 years... am I doing the right thing?''.

 

I am nowhere near moving on yet, I feel like I will never meet anyone as good as her and I miss her like mad. But I have no resentment or anger towards her - he has made a decision based on what she feels is right and best for her. I know she still loves me and misses me, but she doesn't feel i am the person for her to spend the rest of her life yet. Maybe in time she will decide she made a mistake, maybe she won't, but I will never hate her for what she has done. You have to respect their decision and move on.

 

I think it is normal to not feel anger towards her, although your situation sounds different as my ex was never crappy towards me. There is nothing wrong with loving someone who has left you - it's not like they set out to eventually end the relationship and hurt you.

[Saures]

Just gonna say, as soppy as it sounds:

You don't hate or feel resentment towards her because once you did have something fantastic with her...

Everyone expresses how "they hate their ex" but in all honesty I don't think anyone could hate someone who they were so happy with at one point in their life...

I still don't feel any hate towards a guy who left me almost a year ago, because he was a fantastic person at one point, and as much as I'd like to hate him, I just have never brought myself to doing it

[w3536]

i am 24 shes 25. we went out for 3 years. she broke up with me almost a year ago and then came back about 3 months ago. we started seeing each other hooked up. told me that she loved me that i was still her knight in shinning armor. that nobody had treated her like me. that i was the most romantic guy she had been with and that i was always there for her but 2 weeks ago she told me that although i had always been there and that she would remind me as the most sweetest guy that she ever met, that she didnt even like me anymore and that the times that we werent together she didnt even miss me. that i was her past and now she saw her future (these arent the crappy things i feel she did by the way).

hell she has a bit of money problems and eventhough she still owes me the money i lent her this past time i havent asked for it because i know she needs it and i dont want that to be a burden on her.

i dont know i just find it weird how i know shes no good for me and eventhough i treated her like the most beautiful girl that i thought she was and she just didnt appreciate it, i still dont find a reason to be angry at her.

i like to think its because i already forgave her and it has to be a step towards moving on.

[Eocsor]

Everyone expresses how "they hate their ex" but in all honesty I don't think anyone could hate someone who they were so happy with at one point in their life...

 

I cannot dissagree with this statement strongly enough Some of the most intense relationships where the couples love each other to the nth degree turn into absolute hatred for each other. It's just human nature. Sometimes that which burns brightest fades quickly and the aftermath can be ugly.

[Saures]

I cannot dissagree with this statement strongly enough Some of the most intense relationships where the couples love each other to the nth degree turn into absolute hatred for each other. It's just human nature. Sometimes that which burns brightest fades quickly and the aftermath can be ugly.

 

well lets just say from personal experience I have never had hatred for any people I have been with, properly been with

[Eocsor]

well lets just say from personal experience I have never had hatred for any people I have been with, properly been with

 

Well, and I say this in all seriousness, think thats an admirable trait. I on the other hand hated my ex wife for years after she had her affair. I no longer hate her, it's settled down into a serious contempt.

[lapse]

Interesting!

 

I think much of the hatred (mine, anyway) has come from the juxtaposition of the hurtful actions or loss post breakup with the sense of joy I derived from them during the happy times. e.g., It is that contrast between the joy of being together - the happiness and hope in that union - and the painful death of that hope. Out of that contrast comes agony, sadness, and often anger. I know that "hatred". It's a terribly uncomfortable state!