cherrychapstik Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I don't know what to do. My ex broke up with me 4 months ago. He was going through some mental issues and he felt that he shouldn't be in a relationship until he figured himself out. He is now seeing a therapist to deal with his issues. I told him I'd be there for him but of course it hurts. The thing is he doesn't have very many close friends and we were like best friends in our relationship. He's in another city now so I don't have to see him. Although, he emails me literally everyday. I would say we are both really emotionally supportive to each other. I think we both like having someone to talk to. He constantly tells me that he'd love to try again after he's done therapy. The thing is he's slept with two girls after the breakup. He tells me because he wants to be open and honest about everything in case we do decide to get closer again. It hurts and I feel as though he doesn't care and that I'm just letting myself be taken advantage of. I want to stop contact but I feel guilty that I'm deserting him while hes getting help. Also, I love him and I don't want to lose him. I'm so confused and I don't really know what to do. I feel I deserve better and should move on but I can't seem to let the thought of being with him out of my mind. What should I do? Link to comment
nuttybuddy Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I know it can be hard to move on when there was so much time, emotion, and energy invested into this relationship. But sleeping with 2 other girls??! Do you think he was thinking about your feelings when he did that? On top of it, he told you this because he felt guilty and didn't want to lose your friendship. He really does not cherish you as he should. He would not have done that if he cared for you preciously. He seems very selfish. Only thinking about himself. Link to comment
cherrychapstik Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 I know it can be hard to move on when there was so much time, emotion, and energy invested into this relationship. But sleeping with 2 other girls??! Do you think he was thinking about your feelings when he did that? On top of it, he told you this because he felt guilty and didn't want to lose your friendship. He really does not cherish you as he should. He would not have done that if he cared for you preciously. He seems very selfish. Only thinking about himself. I feel the same way but he always ends up convincing me that he cares although they are just words. I just need to learn to let go without guilt. I feel like I'm letting him down even though he never considers my feelins in anything. Link to comment
nuttybuddy Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 He's got a therapist who will help him if he feels he is let down by you. You can move on. He has many issues to deal with. He needs to organize his life before inviting someone else to be a part of it. Move on. You deserve better than this type of treatment. Link to comment
1guygirl Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 sleeping with 2 girls, particularly in 4 months....that would be a deal breaker for me. and therapy doesnt mean he will be cured. Link to comment
cherrychapstik Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 sleeping with 2 girls, particularly in 4 months....that would be a deal breaker for me. and therapy doesnt mean he will be cured. If I'm honest with myself I don't think I'd ever be able to look past the fact he slept with 2 girls. Link to comment
Saures Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 sleeping with 2 girls, particularly in 4 months....that would be a deal breaker for me. and therapy doesnt mean he will be cured. People deal with things differently, and this could just be something which helped him get by, just cause someone broke up with you, doesn't mean they aren't hurting. But me and my boyfriend both know if we ever broke up and if we ever felt there would be another chance, either a day or a year later, being intimate with another person would break that chance... So yes, I agree, he isn't worth it Link to comment
Eocsor Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 What happens when you are broken up really can't be held against the other person. HOWEVER, if someone is telling me that they would want to try again after their therapy had run its course aand then proceeded to tell me that they had slept with two other people, well...... that would be a deal breaker for me. Link to comment
1guygirl Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 okays so we are all in agreement about the two girls so OP what you gotta do now is tell him. whilst i couldnt get past them 2 girls personally, i wouldnt judge him for it so if you tell him they are the reason, do so in a way thats more "thank you so much for your honesty, it meant alot, but i know me, and i cannot get back with you after you went with them two girls" at least he was honest about it giving you the chance to make a fully informed decision before getting invested in him again. you letting him know that his actions come with consequences may make him think twice about repeating same behaviour with someone else later in his life. if peeps dont know, they cant work on change. Link to comment
april15 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Look inward. If you cannot get by those 2 girls, then thank him for the honesty, tell him how you feel and go NC. Begin healing from the hurt. It will get better. When you start feeling better about yourself, you will worry less about not being with him and then you will be ready to find someone you deserve. Someone to have a future with. Just face the fact that your future is not with him, and you are not responsible for his well being. NC will be the best for your well being. Link to comment
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