gsuelp Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Well, I was dating a guy I met online for about 1 1/2 months. Everything was great and we got very close. And then I went overseas to teach abroad for 8 weeks, and he knew about it and was fine. Through the distance and time, he and I kept minimal contact through email. One day, about 6 weeks into the trip abroad, I thought about him and wondered how he was doing. I sent a text message to his phone. He said he was doing fine and was at a gun show. Then the next day, he wrote me an email: ----- Cecilia, you are a great girl and an incredibly interesting person. I have enjoyed the time I spent with you, but I would like to move on. After alot of thought, I just don't think that we are a match. I know you will find someone better suited for you. You are a wonderful woman.... ----- This was so shocking and out of the blue. I didn't know where these thoughts had come from. What does it mean? Anyhow, I wrote an email back that asked: ----- Glenn, I am a bit surprised to hear this and I was wondering if it was because I was oceans away for such a long time. If you feel comfortable explaining what didn't work out, maybe in the future, if i need to work on anything, such as my relationship skills, I can know what I can work on the next time. -- Cecilia ----- He didn't reply, so after 1 week, I re-posted my online dating profile on the same site we had met on. Then he sent me a ";-)" (a winking smiley face) in a message on that online dating website - that's all! I felt hurt and not wanting to feel vulnerable like that again, I decided to ignore his wink. After 3 weeks of no word from either side of us, he sends the following email: ----- First off, I want to say that I am sorry that I have not contacted you sooner. I went over in my head many times what to say. It never sounded good, so I put it off. I think that you are a very nice girl, probably the best person that I have met in a long time. My neighbor/friend was very disappointed in me when I told him that it was not going to go any further. I think that he reads me well, and certainly liked all that I had to say about you. You are a great gal! But after a break, to think alot about us, I just dont think that we are a match. Great friends, yes, but I just didnt feel like that we were a great couple. I don't even know that I could put my finger on it, I tried to make a go of it, but I just dont think that we were meant to be in a romantic way. Your intellect could keep me entertained for hours, but that isnt all there is to a relationship. I know that you will find the right person for you. You are a catch. Glenn ----- I feel sad all over again. I want to just ignore it, because I know that if I reply to it, I will just be angry at him for this decision. I always thought that a good breakup was supposed to be 2 people agreeing to breakup. I felt blindsided when he sent me those 2 messages about breaking up. What do you guys think? How do a person move on faster or get over such an unfortunate situation like this? In Japan, they say, "Shouganai" which means "it can't be helped". Do you guys follow such a philosophy when it comes to breaking up? -- Cecilia Link to comment
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