He2Him Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I tried to find something on a google (lol), about my specific issue, but to no avail. So I decided to ask here directly, perhaps someone can offer me a bit of advice or more like share their thoughts, since I'm not sure I need an advice, because the situation I'm in feels just right, but still a little bit uncommon to me. So the thing is, two months ago, a girl newcomer started working at my place. The moment I looked into her eyes, *bang* it was there. The special something you see in eyes of others very rarely. Two weeks into working here, bunch of us were out for a beer and she was there too. I tried to ignore her most of the time (successfully) and kept it cool. But we got too drunk and you can't keep your control yourself consciously under influence of alcohol, so it ended up in heavy kissing. Next week sleep over at her place and then again. It was all cool and stuff, felt like love almost. As I was getting to know her, I started to like her more and more, and I believe it evolved into love. There's more to the story, but it's kinda unnecessary to mention all the details. Well it turned out that she wanted to have fun, I wanted something more, I made an idiot out of myself, because I acted according to my feelings which I decided not to ignore, and now she kinda despise me - perhaps thinks I'm so low / can't keep it cool. Anyway, my issue is, I feel something towards her, and while I cannot love her, at least I have this notion to feel at least something so I hate her instead. I just can't let this go, because if you see that thing in someone's eyes, that's like the universe telling you that's the right person (on of many other right persons that are out there) but still they are rare. And I just can't ignore something that right. Regardless of what happened between us (good and bad stuff) I could turn around and love her in an instant if she let me to. But she doesn't. And it just feels so wrong to push the feelings that feel so right aside.... just wrong. Link to comment
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