Ghosteater Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Hello, enotalone. I'm completely new here, and I'm honestly desperate for help at this point. Here's my predicament: To preface this, I met this girl during my sophomore year in high school. She's a year younger than I am, so it was during her freshman year. She met me at a school-hosted concert (battle of the bands at a local library), and told our mutual friend that she was interested in me. Her friend took action on this, and tried to hook us up. Since I barely knew my girl at the time, I wasn't terribly interested in dating her. However, as we got to know each other better in the coming weeks and months, I took quite an interest in her. She had an amazing personality, and she was the cutest girl I've ever seen. I failed my sophomore year and ended up having to repeat, putting me in the same class as her. Due to how close our last names were to each other, we were placed in the same homeroom and got to see each other rather often. I remember pushing my desk next to hers after a test, edging close to her, and slowly pushing my hand closer to hers, eventually getting to the point of holding hers. I had never felt butterflies so strong before. We drew closer and closer. Junior year came, and our 2nd period classes were literally accross the hallway from each other, so I would rush up the stairs to my class to be able to hug her, pull her in close to me, and just holding her close to me for as long as I could. This became the highlight of my day. The previous years advisory became a repeat, as was to be expected. Unfortunately, I was so sure that by withdrawing and going to a different, self-paced school, I would be able to graduate on time. I withdrew from my school early on in the school year (November), and went straight to the self-paced school until April. I withdrew at that point because I turned 18 and my living conditions at home got progressively worse. I was arrested the February of that year because of an altercation with my father, ended up getting a $300 fine and needed financial assistance from my mother and step-father at that point. So I moved in with them, an hour and a half away from my girl. I finished high school living with my mother and step-father, graduated, and made no plans for college. Now, I moved back in with my biological father, and things are all patched up due to my much needed attitude adjustment. This girl got a boyfriend literally a week before she knew I moved back, since I was planning on surprising her with it. At the time, I had a girlfriend and thought nothing of it. Things between my girlfriend and I dissolved immediately after I moved back and hung out with this girl for the first time in over a year. I realised what a fool I had been. We hung out more and more throughout this past month, and I could tell she still felt the same way about me. I pulled her in close to me, and she jumped in and kissed me. I know, around this point, there will be replies regarding how unfaithful she is, about how I should take into consideration whether she would do the same thing to me if we dated. She wouldn't. The only reason she kissed me was because we have 4 years of feeling behind this, and we're still at a relatively young age (18 & 19). After this, we still hung out. She told me she liked me, but felt bad because she has a boyfriend. This past friday, everything went downhill. She went to hang out with our mutual best friend and another mutual friend. My best friend was texting me the entire time regarding the conversation, about how the friend and the girl were saying I was such a great guy, and that the girl should distance herself from me to be more faithful to her boyfriend. Don't get me wrong--I agree completely with this. As much as she means to me, I respect the sanctity of commitment, whether it be a new relationship or marriage. However, the next day, we all found out that the girl's boyfriend cheated on her Friday night, and she broke up with him. This came as little surprise to me, as I've heard many things regarding his history from friends. The following day, I went to go surprise her at work to try and make her smile. We had lunch together, and talked a little bit. She seemed happy to see me. When she had to go back in to work after her break, I pulled her close to me, and told her, "It was nice seeing you." looked at her and smiled. She was wearing sunglasses at the time, but I could almost swear that she was expecting a kiss. I could be wrong, though. I digress. She said it back, smiled, and started walking towards the store. She looked back, and said, "Thank you for eating with me.." Now, that sounds all fine and well. However, recent happenings have changed my opinion. The mutual friend mentioned before, on friday, talked to me in detail about what happened. I was told that she's just not that into me, which I don't understand based on some texts I received from her around 10 days ago, telling me how much she wanted to be with me, how she always has. She continued on that, saying that they hung out today, and the mutual friend was told about the happenings on sunday. All that was mentioned was lunch, no reignited sparks or anything. After finding this out, I was bummed and called my best friend, who happens to be the girl's best friend. She told me that she thought the girl was being stupid for letting such a great guy go (I'm never comfortable with compliments like these.), and that she was told that I've 'changed too much' within the past year or so. My best friend promised to talk to the girl, have a heart-to-heart about the situation and find out what's up. So, what's your opinion of this entire situation? What should I do? Link to comment
nuttybuddy Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I think you need to wait for that heart to heart talk, but maybe you should have the heart to heart talk with her. Cuz sometimes, the message can get lost in translation if someone else does the talking for you. Link to comment
Ghosteater Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 I think you're right, Nuttybuddy. Though, I trust my friend. She knows me and my intentions very well-- she even pointed out something I hadn't noticed. Earlier today, I got aggravated because a friend of mine showed me a message from their friend stating something about wanting to get with my girl. I vented to my best friend about it, not intending to be cute about it or anything. I said something along the lines of, "If all he can say is she's pretty, he doesn't deserve her. She's so much more than just a pretty face." and "She's not another number. I hate it when guys treat her like that. She's an amazing girl, and she deserves someone who will make her happy, not someone looking for another tally." I trust my friend with the talk, but I'm questioning what kind of impression it would leave on the girl that she's talking for me. Link to comment
nuttybuddy Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 well, sometimes, the girl can be more forthcoming and honest about how she feels about you to your friend rather than to you directly. so just wait for that heart to heart talk. and if that doesn't seem to satisfy you, then u should try to talk to her urself. Link to comment
Ghosteater Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 I'll be sure to keep you posted on the situation when the heart to heart talk comes. It should be soon. Link to comment
nuttybuddy Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 okie dokie. good luck. Link to comment
1m50L0nl3y Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 The mutual friend mentioned before, on friday, talked to me in detail about what happened. I was told that she's just not that into me, which I don't understand based on some texts I received from her around 10 days ago, telling me how much she wanted to be with me, how she always has. She continued on that, saying that they hung out today, and the mutual friend was told about the happenings on sunday. All that was mentioned was lunch, no reignited sparks or anything. She told me that she thought the girl was being stupid for letting such a great guy go (I'm never comfortable with compliments like these.), and that she was told that I've 'changed too much' within the past year or so. My best friend promised to talk to the girl, have a heart-to-heart about the situation and find out what's up. Dude why are you fishing for feedback from a 3rd party? Why are you allowing another female to get involved in your personal business and do all the talking for you? Why are you taking their words as the truth? What do they care if you get involved with her? You think is on their best interest? How do they benefit? I don't want to be offensive but we are in the real world not in a kindergarten!! You like that girl? Then be a MAN and go for her. Stop hiding behind her friends, if you can't face rejection then you are doomed for the rest of your life. Link to comment
Ghosteater Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 I took your advice, 1m50L0nl3y. I talked to her, told her how I feel, and asked if it was mutual. I figured that she'd be honest with me, considering how she had to look me in the eye and say it. She told me she really liked me, so it worked to my advantage. As it turns out, the mutual friend is interested in me, so that's why she was saying the girl's not interested in me or anything. Link to comment
1m50L0nl3y Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Glad to hear man that you took immediate action. Good job! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.